State vs independent school open days

[user55875537986543]

Please tell me if I’m BU…

Looking at secondary schools. Have been to 3 independent school open mornings, 3 more to look at. Each school has sent an itinerary of the morning and a clear email so we know what to expect (really helpful when deciding if the children should come or not - not all tours have activities for younger siblings but some do).

Also trying to look at two state options but they have one fixed open evening and that’s it. No flexibility. No option for a smaller tour mid week, no option to speak to a member of staff outside that one evening.

The state schools are over subscribed and so I understand that they don’t massively need to “sell” themselves. But the independent schools are massively oversubscribed too and yet are happy to make time for children and parents to work out which school is the best fit.

Also, all the independent schools have their open days on Saturdays. Which means that most parents can actually make it with some notice.

Just a bit pissed off and needed a rant. I absolutely cannot choose a school based on a rushed evening visit without the chance to ask questions properly.

“Also, all the independent schools have their open days on Saturdays. Which means that most parents can actually make it with some notice.”

🙄

1. if you can’t be arsed to arrange time off work to attend maybe 3 state secondary open evenings once in your child’s life are you really that bothered?
2. state secondaries are rammed full of children whose parents work on Saturdays

Yes, that's life. I'd be saying dang too. I think what's got us a bit confused is your original question was something like 'why are the state schools not doing what the private schools do'. We're all a bit like 'Is this a trick question?!?'

@Popgoestheweaselagain I suppose what I’m really asking is why some state schools are not being as warm and welcoming as most independent schools. Obvs paying fees plays a part. But generally there seems to be a much greater effort to find the right school for each child. I appreciate for lots of people they don’t have a choice of state schools and it’s their catchment school or nothing. In which case open evenings really are just a chance for children and parents to see what’s next, rather than a chance to decide if that’s the school they want to apply for.

The state school my son's at puts a huge about into open days. Makes everybody feel welcome. The work they put into that one open day is well worth it. Unfortunately people like yourself carnt rearrange things so you can attend. Huge shame for you.

OP I was answering that in my post at 10.24

YABU one is a profit making business selling something, so of course they are going to make more effort and have more time and resources to do so. State schools have far less funds and are not selling a product in the same way.

I get what you mean, though.

If you’ve moved meeting I’d tell school no can do on ‘compulsory’ sport and go to full open event inc head’s talk. If school really can’t do without them then I bet they drum up someone to help you.

😂

Have you been to any state school open days recently? You could spend 2 hours finding/queuing for SENCO and not actually get to look round the school at all.

For a large school hosting only 1 opportunity to meet and greet teachers and get a feel for the place, it's a big ask if you have SEN concerns as well as a special interest in one subject or another.

The one I went to was 2 hours long, and the head did a talk that lasted 45 mins of that as well as being overcrowded!!

This converstation reminds me of the threads about a 7 hour wait at A&E. Yes we are lucky there is A&E, and that it's free, and that it's opened 365 days a year. A 7 hour wait is still crap if you are feeling in significant pain or very unwell.

It's not a judgement of how hard teachers work etc to believe that one brief event is not enough to make such a big decision.

I have yes. Been to several and my son has also helped out at several as a pupil. One of his responsibilities is pointing out where the senco is to parents who ask along with many other tasks. The senco at his school, there are several are always available at open evenings.

OTOH my friend has taken her ds round all the glossy sparkly independent secondary open days and taster sessions, paid all the registration fees…only for them to say they don’t want him because of his dyslexia diagnosis. And this is a child who tests top 1% in cat scores.

The local state would be thrilled to have him…and it’s free!

OP I get it, secondary is a big decision and I’ve been much more impressed by 1 local school than the other on their open day offerings. However you are being enormously unreasonable to generalise independent vs state on your experiences alone. Some are good, some are less good and some are running businesses!

However, even the state that said they wouldn’t do personal tours didn’t say no to me when I directly asked the Head for one so don’t give up yet.

@Plumbear2 and at your amazing school, what would happen if a parent couldn’t attend because they had a vomiting bug? Or were needed at their own school for a parents evening at the same time? Or they had a recent bereavement?

We we’re given short notice - I have been asking schools since last term when their open morning/evening would be.

Some parents will have valid reason for not being able to attend. It would be kind if schools held some sort of catch up session or (heaven forbid) did two open mornings a year!

When parents on Mum’s et have a problem with their child at school the advice is normally to speak to school, speak to their class/subject teacher, push to see the SENCO etc. I’m so far from a pushy parent irl and I trust that my childrens schools have their best interests at heart and I always support them. I rarely need to have any extra meetings etc. But I think it’s great that parents take an interest in their childrens school and make positive and informed decisions. That’s what I want to do - I don’t want a special day long conference so all the teachers can fawn over me. I’d like to hear the head speak, speak to the SENCO, meet some students and speak to some class/form tutors. I’m not asking for the world. 😎

I've already explained several times why schools don't have 2 open evenings. Extra workload for teachers, disruption to pupils yet this continuously goes over your head. If you need to see all these people attend the open evening. They carnt pick a date to suit everybody, of you want to go change things so you can go. That's what every other parent does.

And students won't want to commit to two open evenings, even the most helpful. My son does open evenings but he has a life aswell.

@Onandgrowing thank you - state secondary is on my radar purely because I recognise the dyslexia support might be better

@Plumbear2 you didn’t answer my question. What does your school do if a parent can’t attend because they are unwell. Think norovirus levels of unwell (which is obvs not my situation). Things happen.

Then message the school. Don't expect them to put on 2 open evenings. Yet again you dismiss the work the school.and pupils put into that one open evening.

@Plumbear2 that’s the whole point. I did call the school. They can’t accommodate any parents for smaller tours at all. They used to do this but they told me they don’t post pandemic. That is the whole point of my irritation. I don’t expect a second parents evening but I do expect something else…?

And I have already also updated that I have moved my meeting so will take my children and we roll go together. Late, but together.

I think unwritten rule is you don’t leave it to yr 6 but no one tells you it’s just one of those things that can catch you by surprise.
We had no open night when I went to secondary mid 80s as it was teachers strike -they were working to rule so no extras like open nights. My first time in the school was when I started.

Have you asked if you can contact senco? They should be able to advise generally re dyslexia policy as it’s common for students to have that.

That's great you can go. School esp high schools have calenders filled the brim all year. Patents eve, career evenings, sporting events, music events, drama events. You will have to continue organising your life around these events of you want to attend.

@Plumbear2 😂😂😂 Thank you for explaining schools to me. I have children in two schools. There are multiple concerts, matches, parents evenings etc that I have been managing to put in my diary and attend for many years now. But thank you for pointing this out to me. I’m not a new parent with a toddler 🤣🤣🤣

@Dixiechickonhols hopefully I can speak to the SENCO when we go to the open evening and hopefully have a more detailed chat if/when we are offered a place. I’m 99% sure we will be offered places at the state school we are interested in and hopeful of a place at the two independent schools we like most. So it really does all come down to SEN provision and academic structure for me. All three have excellent reputations and I know families at all three.

I just can’t be casual about this level of decision though. It’s all on me and I just want to get it right for my child. They’re tricky in that they’re top of the top sets in their selective prep but have significant dyslexia. So I need to find a school who will help them to carry on making the same level of progress.

That's great. High school is different with often1500 pupils, the calender is full every evening with multiple extracurricular. That's why no 2 open evenings.