State vs independent school open days

[user55875537986543]

Please tell me if I’m BU…

Looking at secondary schools. Have been to 3 independent school open mornings, 3 more to look at. Each school has sent an itinerary of the morning and a clear email so we know what to expect (really helpful when deciding if the children should come or not - not all tours have activities for younger siblings but some do).

Also trying to look at two state options but they have one fixed open evening and that’s it. No flexibility. No option for a smaller tour mid week, no option to speak to a member of staff outside that one evening.

The state schools are over subscribed and so I understand that they don’t massively need to “sell” themselves. But the independent schools are massively oversubscribed too and yet are happy to make time for children and parents to work out which school is the best fit.

Also, all the independent schools have their open days on Saturdays. Which means that most parents can actually make it with some notice.

Just a bit pissed off and needed a rant. I absolutely cannot choose a school based on a rushed evening visit without the chance to ask questions properly.

*should be

Yanbu.

And everytime you ask teachers about pay etc they always use open days/parents evenings as extra time in school but somehow 500 children viewing a school in only one 2 hour slot is appropriate??

I don’t think this is the school for you then. Sounds like you will be demanding of their limited time so first it will be that the open day doesn’t suit you, then it will be parents night, then it will be options selection

You want a level of service that this particular school doesn’t offer. Maybe best to realise this now and choose a school that is more open to your desired level of communication rather than being disappointed and frustrated for all the years your child is at the school

It seems very late for them to still be having open evenings, it's the last one tonight for our local schools.

However when choosing schools for my eldest I spent time looking at websites and Ofsted reports prior to any open evenings.

I am doing the application process again now, schools generally are agreeable to parents coming for extra tours.

When looking for my eldest we went to a school in the next county, it is in a small market town with rural communities surrounding it. It is pretty much the only school available so the attitude was very much "take us as you find us" , the more local schools did a little more hard sell.

A one 3 hour window is plenty. Teachers give up multiple evenings for parents, career evenings (1 per year) parent evenings (1 per year group per year) why do you as parent who's child isn't even at the school to expect more? As I've already said open evening means pupils missing extracurricur for that evening, in many schools it means a half day for the kids so the teachers can prepare. Then kids help in the evening. All this disruption for the children and you expect them to have more? One is enough, if you carnt make it that's on you. School, teachers are pupils are being more than generous.

This thread definitely tells me you need to choose the independent school. I'm surprised you don't also see that.

@Womencanlift “ level of service?!” Wow. I just want to see the school and speak to the SENCO.

After mentioning the state Saturday ones I've been to I almost hesitate to mention I'm off to see another local state comprehensive next week which is a mop up coffee morning event for either those with specific Send concerns or who couldn't make the earlier open evening or open morning. It is an oversubscribed place too.

Then make sure you are at the open evening so you can speak to the senco. The rest of the school dosent have to offer multiple open evenings to accommodate you. Take you kids with you😡 it's not hard.

Ok all, thank you. It seems that lots of state secondaries offer much more in terms of effort and time for open days.

I’m not a nightmare parent. I’m supportive of my childrens state and private schools. I don’t hog teachers time and I don’t demand special attention.

However, I am parenting alone and it is my decision and my decision along about where my children go to school. It’s a big responsibility. I took much time and care for primary/prep and it has paid off and my children are happy and well supported (state as much as independent!).

I won’t be lambasted for being interested in the secondary schools my children might go to. I just won’t. And with a child with SEN it’s even more vital that I am able to ask the right questions.

I will do my best to go to the open day, we will apply for state and private and once we have offers we will ask again for a SENCO meeting. If the state school SENCO can’t meet me/speak to me on the phone for 10 minutes between now and Easter then it’s not the school for any child with additional needs.

I went to at least a dozen open mornings in London when my children were tiny and I was looking at primary schools. With only a couple of exceptions I found them so helpful and put the schools into a definite yes or no bracket for me. I just really want to give all the secondary schools that are an option an equal chance to show me what they are really like.

THANK YOU to people who have shared good state secondary open day experiences/practices. It is clearly possible!

@Plumbear2 of course you haven’t read all my posts but taking my children to an open evening at the same time they are still at compulsory school events is rather hard! I have now managed to shift my meeting so I will have to arrive late but with my children. But I can’t take them out of school early because I’m not that parent!

@zippygeorgebungle please may I come too 😂😂

You don't seem to realise just how much work and effort goes into arranging one open evening do you?

And for those who have implied I’m way too demanding for Tarquin or Octavia to consider state secondaries, please read what other people have experienced. This would be idea!

“After mentioning the state Saturday ones I've been to I almost hesitate to mention I'm off to see another local state comprehensive next week which is a mop up coffee morning event for either those with specific Send concerns or who couldn't make the earlier open evening or open morning. It is an oversubscribed place too.”

Not once have I mentioned you take them out of school early.

@Plumbear2 yes I do. I’m not asking for a second one just for me. I’m asking for a brief meeting in person or on the phone. Or something along the lines of what @zippygeorgebungle has mentioned.

@Plumbear2 the open evening starts ages before one of my child finishes school. By the time I get there with my children I will miss half the evening including the heads talk.

Well if that's all you want email or phone the school and ask.

How is this a shock to you? Surely you'd expect a fee paying school to have a glossy open evening, they want your money and they have the funds to entice you.

If you look at the big picture, you looked at 12 schools for primary, a 300 intake secondary could expect to have 3600 families all wanting to ask individual questions or have meetings. That simply isn’t feasible unfortunately.

@Plumbear2 and @OoooohMatron have addressed both those points several times now

That's pretty standard for state Vs independent. You get what you pay for.
The open day is the biggest event in the calendar for recruitment in private schools so it is worth the investment in terms of time, resources etc.

@Tearsofthemushroom absolutely. But out of those open mornings, almost all of them were enough to answer my questions so I didn’t need any extra time. But my child didn’t have a diagnosed SEN then - I’m just so keen to make sure they’re in the right school now they have a diagnosis and now I have 7 years more experience as their mum!

What points? It would be easier to quote the post you are referencing. Maybe that's why I missed what you meant when you made the points previously

Consider yourself lucky you even get an open day to choose, during covid some of us had a zoom PowerPoint then sent our 4 year olds into a building we'd never been into with a bunch of adults we'd never met.

What I'm trying to say, kindly, is that you'll manage.