State vs independent school open days

[user55875537986543]

Please tell me if I’m BU…

Looking at secondary schools. Have been to 3 independent school open mornings, 3 more to look at. Each school has sent an itinerary of the morning and a clear email so we know what to expect (really helpful when deciding if the children should come or not - not all tours have activities for younger siblings but some do).

Also trying to look at two state options but they have one fixed open evening and that’s it. No flexibility. No option for a smaller tour mid week, no option to speak to a member of staff outside that one evening.

The state schools are over subscribed and so I understand that they don’t massively need to “sell” themselves. But the independent schools are massively oversubscribed too and yet are happy to make time for children and parents to work out which school is the best fit.

Also, all the independent schools have their open days on Saturdays. Which means that most parents can actually make it with some notice.

Just a bit pissed off and needed a rant. I absolutely cannot choose a school based on a rushed evening visit without the chance to ask questions properly.

And worth pointing out that although I have a child in state primary and am fully open to state secondary, I was independently educated and have no direct state secondary experience. The culture is slightly different (obviously massive range between different schools) and it’s not always easy to navigate.

@Plumbear2 you’re not reading the posts from people with children at state secondaries who offer more to prospective parents though are you. And also, you’re continuing to patronise me. Our independent school calendar is full every day too. My child is in school from 8-5 and often has to stay later for matches (A team), music lessons etc. I know it ramps up at secondary school. I do get it. Thanks though.

They don't get paid extra for open days in independent private schools either! At least not at where my husband teaches!

@Plumbear2 you also still haven’t told me how your school would respond to a parent who had the open evening in their diary and was fully ready to go but then had an illness/bereavement to cope with and couldn’t make it. Shit does, unfortunately, happen!

As I already told you message the school

@Plumbear2 as I already told you, I did!

My DC1 started state secondary school this year. DC1 has ASD, so when we were looking at secondary schools we were also very keen to talk to the SENCOs to get a feel for how the different schools could support him.

The secondary schools local to me only do one open evening. That’s not unusual.
Our local ones also offered the opportunity to book some tours within the school day for smaller groups.

We were able to have brief chats with the SENCO at the open evening, plus more detailed discussions during the daytime tours. For one school, the SENCO wasn’t available during the daytime tour, but we were able to arrange for a telephone conversation to discuss the SEN support available.

So altogether we had plenty of opportunity to get answers to the questions we had.

Its probably worth noting here that we live in an area where schools are not massively oversubscribed, so not like there’s lots of applicants per space

@CryCeratops that sounds so helpful. The thing is, it’s a total pain for the school as well as for the parent as child if a child goes to a school where the right provision isn’t available.

Great. So why ask the question?

Don't know why you'd expect refreshments. Schools are struggling with budgets and spending money on random people looking at the school doesn't seem reasonable to me.

Plumbear - you keep replying from your account of the schools you know. Can you conceive that not everywhere is the same, as flexible or accommodating? There are not "several" SENCOs to see at the school I went to, there was one, with a long queue who had gone by the time I had spent half the only allocated visit watching a presentation.

You may be sympathetic to the staff who work hard to put events on. I don't think we can agree that 2 hours for hundreds and hundreds of pupils is flexible enough to suitably answer all enquiries. If you think that's reasonable then that's your opinion. Asking the OP to phone separately - when she's already said that she has, to no avail, is not understanding the issue.

You realise that generally primary schools are much smaller than senior schools, you can't expect them to be same. My local primaries have 30, 60 or 90 intake, the 90 is the closest to me. The local comp (the only one in my town) takes 360 every year. You can't possibly think an open day at the comp would be anything like an open day at one of the primaries.

@FatEaredFuck thank you! that’s my issue with what @Plumbear2 keeps saying too

This.

I’m not sure why you’re so surprised at the situation OP.

Hi OP

If the independent schools are reasonably well-known ones, you could post on the Secondary Education Board on here to see if anyone has any insider knowledge - specifically about SEN support in the schools?

It sounds like you're going to go with one of the independents, but do check the actual practical specifics of the SEN support in such schools as it can vary massively. This is the most important factor for you DD, as you say. Don't be afraid to ask them whatever you need to know - if they're all they're cracked up to be they should be only too delighted to discuss your daughter's needs with you.

@OperaStation oh I’m astonished 😊

@zezzez absolutely and I have discounted 2 independent schools already because I felt that the support they would put in place wouldn’t be enough

@zezzez and yes, well known schools locally (and nationally as in they’re in the top 20 of the league tables consistently). But they’re not the issue - the independent schools have offered the time I needed at open mornings and on follow up emails to ask the questions I needed to ask.

Are the schools in West London by any chance OP. I may know them quite well if so.

Well, it could mean a couple of things. If a school in my area was oversubscribed and their attitude to admissions was 'We've got one open evening, take it or leave it', I'd think that was probably a high achieving school that everyone wanted to get into. However, if I had a SEN kid and was looking for a more nurturing, individual approach, I'd be worried that their 'you're lucky to get in here' attitude wouldn't be right for our family. If their coasting on their reputation, they might not be really puting the effort in that you want. With SEN you really need to do your homework and not follow the crowd. I certainly understand why you would be worried about plumping for a school without even having attended an open day.

What I've found in my experience of three different independent schools, is that the more academic the school, the more advanced, targeted and dynamic the SEN support is. For instance, in the top London schools, they don't view dyslexia or autism as a "problem to deal with," they simply talk about SEN as a "different learning style" that other students can learn from and benefit from. Having said this, the odds if a place at 11 plus are like 1 in 12, but the schools definitely attract the best Ed Psychs and understand that some of the most gifted children can have "spiky educational profiles."

EXACTLY.

The independent schools are businesses. They need to drum up business to stay open. And one of the ways they do that is through offering an attractive pre-enrollment package to "grab" potential customers.

The state schools are going to keep operating and getting kids in the doors whether they advertise or not.

It sounds like "being wined and dined" is attractive to you - you want the personal touch. So just go for the independent school.

@zezzez not west London but similar dynamic 🤓

@zingally you’re right. You’ve clearly read my posts. Whoever can offer me sushi and a good choice of wines can educate my child. Quite right.

Sorry for the sarcasm but I have explained I’m not interested in the quality of the refreshments etc. I’m interested in the school ethos and dynamic and how they choose to present that. I really, really care that I understand the learning support but also the pastoral care systems at the school and the academic systems (options, sets etc)