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Original poster

State vs independent school open days

318 replies

user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 08:57

Please tell me if I’m BU…

Looking at secondary schools. Have been to 3 independent school open mornings, 3 more to look at. Each school has sent an itinerary of the morning and a clear email so we know what to expect (really helpful when deciding if the children should come or not - not all tours have activities for younger siblings but some do).

Also trying to look at two state options but they have one fixed open evening and that’s it. No flexibility. No option for a smaller tour mid week, no option to speak to a member of staff outside that one evening.

The state schools are over subscribed and so I understand that they don’t massively need to “sell” themselves. But the independent schools are massively oversubscribed too and yet are happy to make time for children and parents to work out which school is the best fit.

Also, all the independent schools have their open days on Saturdays. Which means that most parents can actually make it with some notice.

Just a bit pissed off and needed a rant. I absolutely cannot choose a school based on a rushed evening visit without the chance to ask questions properly.

OP posts:
Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:31

@Getoff you’re right about London schools. But they will generally make time for a phone call, meeting if you request one. The independent schools I’m looking at have 3 or 4 children applying for each place. They’re massively over subscribed too but the open mornings we’ve had so far have had ample time and members of staff so I could meet everyone I needed to and ask all the questions I needed to ask. Just making the open evening a bit longer would help massively.

We really have two independent schools and one state that we are most interested in. I just don’t want to discount the state school.

In our family the children go to the school best suited to their needs and abilities - state or independent. We’re very fortunate. We are not a PITA for the schools we are at and I feel really strongly that once we’ve chosen a school we need to support the school 100% as parents.

OP posts:
ittakes2 · 10/10/2022 09:31

I have one child in private and one in a grammar school so a leg in each camp. If the state's open days are annoying you then you need to stay well away from the state system. I had to read your post three times as I thought you were trying to be ironic. State schools don't work around parents. That's part of what you pay for in a private school.

buntywindermere · 10/10/2022 09:31

I work in a state school, and we had one official open evening the other week, but our Headteacher, Deputy Head and Assistant Heads have all been giving tours to families over the last month, and have plenty more booked in for the next few weeks. Of course, they couldn't possibly do this for every individual family, but I'd be surprised if you rung your local state schools asking for a tour and they didn't try and get you in somehow. Have you actually tried calling to see if they would accommodate you?

Worthyornot · 10/10/2022 09:31

We are also not swayed by Slick PR as my ds is currently in an excellent prep which has really set the bar high. We were able to speak to the head of Pastoral care, ask very specific questions, get a feel how a typical day would run, the clubs they offer etc.

Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:33

@LunaLoveLemon no. I don’t pay fees so I have had a cosy, lengthy open morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:34

@Worthyornot you’ve put it so well. A “welcoming and warm”
approach is really what I’m looking for too!

OP posts:
HRTQueen · 10/10/2022 09:34

Independent schools are a business first and formost they have a sells pitch that they need parents to buy into

they have to sell themselves the open days evenings are huge events in the calendar like networking conferences are for companies

i wouldn’t be comparing the schools and making choices based on the open days

Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:35

@buntywindermere yes, they used to do tours in the week but don’t now. It’s such a shame.

OP posts:
passport123 · 10/10/2022 09:36

user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:05

@snowballer you’re right. My independent school teacher friends do not get paid extra for Saturday open mornings.

but their overall pay and benefits package will be much better than those in state school

Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:36

@HRTQueen I’m not making decisions based on the open days. I’m making decisions based on the information I’m able to glean from open days

OP posts:
Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:36

@passport123 also right!

OP posts:
passport123 · 10/10/2022 09:36

School which gets £5k per child per year can offer less flexibility than school which gets £15 - 25k per child per year.

who'd have thought it.....

passport123 · 10/10/2022 09:37

any minute now you'll be telling me that it's harder to see an NHS GP than a private one, and that you have to wait longer for a bus than a taxi.

passport123 · 10/10/2022 09:37

(sorry didn't mean to be snarky. but we get this sort of thing a lot in NHS GP and it's a bit annoying).

FiveMins · 10/10/2022 09:37

Independent schools need you as their customer. They are selling you a product. I live in a city where every state school is over subscribed and underfunded. They don't need to sell themselves so heavily.

2pinkginsplease · 10/10/2022 09:38

First world problems?

no open days or visits when we went to school, in fact even when my children were going to high school which was 10years ago.

we didn’t even visit, we picked our local catchment school, end of. Both did amazing at it and off to uni.

so glad we live in Scotland where the majority of students go to their local catchment school.

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 10/10/2022 09:38

Yes. Our local middle school don't do tours but all the local independent schools seem to. It's annoying but I do get it, the state schools are understaffed, whereas the private ones are not plus they pay their staff more so that they don't mind coming in at the weekends. The independent schools will say that they are oversubscribed, and some might be mildly selective, but in reality with the way things are at the moment they can't take any chances because lots of people will be reevaluating their education choices.

Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:39

@ittakes2 ok, but I am also a current parent in independent and state schools. Both schools are really as flexible and accommodating for parents as they can be. One open evening and nothing else seems pretty unimpressive.

OP posts:
Getoff · 10/10/2022 09:40

You may also be surprised to hear the pope is Catholic

Here is QI explaining that the man with the official title pope is in fact not Catholic.

Hollyhead · 10/10/2022 09:40

user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:11

I don’t want/need a brochure, a cappuccino or a bag with the school logo. I would like some time to hear a talk from the head and a chance to speak to a few key members of staff. I would like to speak to learning support about how they cope with children with dyslexia, I would like to speak to someone about GCSE options and I would like to speak to someone about pastoral care (assuming none of this is covered in detail by the main talk). I would like 15 minutes to ask questions without being rushed.

All of that was included in the state comp open evening we went to. You shouldn’t generalise. I’m sure you could email your queries.

AnotherNewt · 10/10/2022 09:40

Bobblesock · 10/10/2022 09:05

If you do go for the independent option some of the fees you pay fund the PR and admin staff that make those events happen. Aswell as funding longer holidays for teaching staff.

It's not so much the fees in general, it's the application fees that prospective parents pay that allow them to run their admissions - ideally enough to be cost-neutral to the rest of the budget, but if not then obviously the shortfall is made up from general income (fees and investments)

There are usually biscuits and coffee/tea as well - all independent schools seem to have decent catering for all events to which parents are invited

HRTQueen · 10/10/2022 09:40

But what are you expecting

independent schools are a business they are pitching to you they have the means (money) and teachers and staff who are not so overworked and have the time to prepare for all of this.

State schools haven’t the money, over worked staff haven’t the time to organise such events

Original poster
user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:41

@Talkwhilstyouwalk they’re not “mildly” selective. They’re super selective and both schools we’re most keen on are top 20 in the country for results. They really don’t need to woo parents but equally they do want parents to understand the ethos of the school before they decide if it’s the right school for their child.

OP posts:
Worthyornot · 10/10/2022 09:43

FiveMins · 10/10/2022 09:37

Independent schools need you as their customer. They are selling you a product. I live in a city where every state school is over subscribed and underfunded. They don't need to sell themselves so heavily.

I disagree. They really, really don't need you as a customer. I'm currently applying to schools that have 60 places and 300-350 applications. They do not need to beg for your custom, it's the other way around.

User135792468 · 10/10/2022 09:44

user55875537986543 · 10/10/2022 09:41

@Talkwhilstyouwalk they’re not “mildly” selective. They’re super selective and both schools we’re most keen on are top 20 in the country for results. They really don’t need to woo parents but equally they do want parents to understand the ethos of the school before they decide if it’s the right school for their child.

If you can afford a top 20 school, why are you even bothering with the state schools? It’s obvious which you will prefer, how can you not? They have much more money and are able to provide more as a result. Stop wasting peoples time and moaning about state schools open evenings. If this is already such a bone of contention, there will be numerous things over the years that will aggravate you.