State vs independent school open days

[user55875537986543]

Please tell me if I’m BU…

Looking at secondary schools. Have been to 3 independent school open mornings, 3 more to look at. Each school has sent an itinerary of the morning and a clear email so we know what to expect (really helpful when deciding if the children should come or not - not all tours have activities for younger siblings but some do).

Also trying to look at two state options but they have one fixed open evening and that’s it. No flexibility. No option for a smaller tour mid week, no option to speak to a member of staff outside that one evening.

The state schools are over subscribed and so I understand that they don’t massively need to “sell” themselves. But the independent schools are massively oversubscribed too and yet are happy to make time for children and parents to work out which school is the best fit.

Also, all the independent schools have their open days on Saturdays. Which means that most parents can actually make it with some notice.

Just a bit pissed off and needed a rant. I absolutely cannot choose a school based on a rushed evening visit without the chance to ask questions properly.

@user55875537986543

If you literally don't have any other help/can't pay for more help then you cant go and that school is no longer an option

That is still not the schools fault or a failing on their part

YOu're totally right, I'm the rude one.

Hahahahaha.

@cantkeepawayforever yes, we’re applying for both in parallel and will hope to have more information when we know where we get offered places

@Topgub “what about the father”
”I’m a widow”
”that’s not the schools fault”

I hope you don’t work with people in a car ain’t capacity.

Caring

This is a fast moving thread @user55875537986543 but genuinely, try and contact senco yourself. They won't want to talk with primary school senco yet as that is to do with pupils definitely going there and sorting out transition etc, but most will be happy for a quick word with a parent. We are looking state mostly and 1 private, and all the state schools I've managed a quick chat with SENCO at the open eve and all have also said please contact if I want to ask any more questions. Most schools are also doing some open mornings that you can book on after the main open evening event so it's worth scouring the websites again in case you missed something. Good luck!

@NotLactoseFree but I do know the difference and understand the budget constructions. Some state schools offer amazing open days. I have children at state and private schools currently. I’m not blind to it all. I just want to make an informed choice.

That seems sensible. Schools with very little time will be much happier to spend it talking to the parents of those allocated places than the 10x as many who apply or the 20x as many who visit out of curiosity!

@ElvenDreamer thank you xx

@cantkeepawayforever also true!!

Rightly or wrongly, the fact is, most state schools will have one open day/evening a year. So, if you're really interested in a particular school, you'll rearrange your life to make that time. You'll find the same with universities when the time comes.

The private schools offering individual tours is the unusual bit - and that's because you're paying. Even if your child doesn't go to that school, if you want to get on the waiting list, you'll pay a registration fee, so it's worth their time showing you round.

I'm sorry if it sounds like we're being rude, but I think you need to decide if this kind of flexibility/individual attention is important enough to you to continue to pay for private at secondary. Sending your kid to a state school and then wondering why the staff can't accommodate your schedule might lead to problems down the line.

@user55875537986543

Yeah thats not what I said. What do you want me to say? My deepest condolences on your loss? I'm truly sorry you're a widow? Tbh it felt like it was dropped in like a bit of a point scoring drip feed. Ahah! That'll teach you to ask why the kids dad isn't going!!

You dont seem to want to hear you're being unreasonable and are being fairly rude while accusing others of being rude.

Best of luck with finding a school that meets your standards

It really is all about money I'm afraid.

Put yourself in the head's shoes. Your school is full and oversubscribed. Your school is in deficit. Why would you spend money on organising more open days? They are hugely costly to organise in terms of staff resources. Not value for money is it? If I were a governor at the school I would recognise that, in my role in 'ensuring money is well-spent' that one open day is enough.

I would bet that state schools that have more open events desperately need to attract pupils.

As someone who was a SENCo in a state secondary school, I can tell you that open evening was generally spent talking to parents with a specific focus on SEND, having activities for the children to do, specific technology for them to try and a group of my staff to help out. We were always happy to arrange further meetings during the day, to show the school in its normal routine and the department as it was regularly.

It will depend on the facilities you think your dyslexic child will require and whether those are available in the schools you’re looking at.

There should be sufficient information online to make an informed decision, but if there isn’t what you want or need, why not contact the SENCo and try to arrange an appointment. Do bear in mind though, that state school staff are stretched to the limit and might not have the capacity to see you during the school day.

@Popgoestheweaselagain I have never expected schools to work around my schedule though. I always prioritise school dates and plan work and childcare around them. It’s tricker with this date because I can’t expect our current schools to work around a third schools schedule. It’s just life isn’t it. We can’t always make everything however much we’d like to.

@Topgub you asked me why my child’s father couldn’t attend. As though I wouldn’t have already thought of that. He would have attended all of the open days because he cared very much.

You are being massively unreasonable! State schools are chronically under funded

@Bluevelvetsofa I’m happy to come in whenever works for the SENCO or speak on the phone whenever is convenient for them. I really only need 10 minutes maximum. I’m sure that can happen once we have a firm offer. Thank you.

If you can afford independent and are happier with your interactions, then go independent. We get more than 15 minutes at parent's evenings. We also can request a meeting anytime and it is accomodated. We got a private tour of the school, during class time so we could see what was going on with teaching. That was a choice we were able to make. The facilities are all there and all questions are answered. Yes, we pay for the privilege but we feel it is worth it. If you want a lot of interaction, maybe it is worth it for you too.

Maybe attend a state Open Evening and then you can comment on what was actually on offer rather than just making assumptions. I have attended 2 secondary ones recently - lots of input from pupils about their experiences, briefing from the Headteacher about the school philosophy, plans and exam results, further education and career pathways of previous pupils etc. Subject staff were available in all classrooms and more than happy to talk to parents/children - many parents didn't take this up so no queues Lots of work examples available to look at and pupils demonstrating science, design technology and science activities, plenty of interactive things to engage the children too. SENCO and Learning Support staff were available in the library/learning zone respectively so a quiet space for parents to speak to them. Both schools offered the opportunity for parents to book a separate appointment tour during the school day if wanted/needed. Neither offered Saturdays but to be honest I am sure most parents would prioritise time for this in the week if they felt it was important to inform their school choice.

@CrochetIsCool I have a child in a state school. “I am sure most parents would prioritise time for this in the week” I DO!! I would! Just once there is an open evening that I’m going to struggle to get to. I prioritise my children over everything and can almost always juggle things during school hours.

My kids are currently in prep. Be very sceptical of Saturday open days op - handpicked kids and teachers. Much better to see the school on a working day.

@MissHavershamReturns oh yeah, I’m wise to that. Have already been put off one school for serious cherry picking. Another Saturday morning school tour had a much more realistic bunch of children and almost every member of staff!

Have you called them? My dd's primary school office was very happy to take questions (and would have probably passed them on to the head teacher if required). Also, another primary that we considered we missed their open day and they were happy to arrange another tour for us and a few other parents.

As a one off would another mum take your others or I have seen younger children at open nights. So pick up everyone early, go to open day then McDonalds after. Younger miss homework as a one off.
Not being patronising just hard to see wood for trees sometimes.
I’ll also add than the senco at DD’s school was very uninspiring when I spoke to her at open night but the actual support where needed was fine. I had a more lengthy conversation with her when dc got a place in March.