Furious they've made my son sit alone at lunch

[Mummyto2BBs]

My 4 year old is currently waiting for an assessment for autism/adhd. He has really been struggling at primary school - hitting out at the teacher and having meltdowns in the afternoon. They are doing a risk assessment on him and have contacted the school psychologist to come and visit him, as well as going back to a 12oclock finish instead of 2pm.
I have been more than happy to work with them and had thought they were doing everything they could for my son but my niece (primary 7 at the same school) has informed me that on Wednesday she saw one of the classroom assistants bend down to talk to him and then took him away from his friends at the lunch table and made him sit at a separate table alone. Special needs or not I think its a f*cking disgrace to make any child sit alone at lunch.
Am I being unreasonable for being downright pissed off? I plan on speaking to his teacher about this tomorrow.

Some assistants bring their prejudices and grievances to work. I reprimanded a lesbian for telling boys off while encouraging girls !

I reprimanded a lesbian for telling boys off while encouraging girls !

Are you a teacher? And why is her being a lesbian important?

I hope you can get to the bottom of this with a conversation with staff at the school and find out the reasons why. It could be so many things.
I saw someone comment that it is discrimination to send him home at lunch time - I am a primary school teacher and I don't think this is the case. If he is finding the end of the days hard and is overtired then I think they are just trying to accommodate his needs. I've taught kids before that would sometimes go home early because the full day was just too much for them. It wasn't that I couldn't be bothered, it was out of genuine concern for their well-being and trying to find a solution where they could be at school most of the day but not get so worn out and overwhelmed that they became unwell or didn't want to to come at all. If you decide this system is not beneficial to your son just talk to the school and try and come up with another plan.
It sounds like usually you have good communication with the school which is great, as communication in these scenarios is so important. As a teacher I will try and come up with ideas for how to help students out, but it's always so valuable to have parents input so don't be afraid to share your thoughts and suggestions with your son's teacher :-)
It can be a difficult journey especially at the start of assessments while trying to work out what your child's needs are, and so emotional as you obviously desperately want what is best for your child and for them to be happy. Maybe could you find a support group or parents who have been through similar experiences who you can talk to? You are definitely not alone in this, there are many people who have gone through or who are going through this process and I hope you can find some wonderful supportive people to help you and your little man through it.
Take care

Let's face facts here. It's far more plausible that there's another explanation other than the classroom assistant just walked over to him out of the blue and made him sit alone. Until you find out that that is, nobody can answer whether or not you are being unreasonable.

It is possible to have a reduced timetable as part of idp. And I wouldn't be worrying about him falling behind at reception age. Many kids have lost education due to covid and will be fine in the long run. I would focus more on the social aspect of school and develop other areas of learning so as to make your child mpre receptive to learning when they are on a fuller timetable. There's lots of simple things you can do at home to help, such as messy/sensory play such as playdoh or sand. Reading is always a positive thing to do.
As for the issue in school, there isn't enough information as to why this happened to form advice. I work with ALN kids and there could be a reem of reasons for it. Including a misunderstanding. I have sat with kids for lunch and left them by themselves. Perhaps the TA had something else to deal with.
I think the things you have described as in being sleep deprived with a new baby could be making it feel worse than it is. If the school are as good as you say, be upfront with them and ask for more support. Prehaps they can sign post you towards more help.

OP I really feel for you with this. (Speaking from experience which is far too long for this post) I understand that you are going to get more information from the school and this was your first reaction - it’s so hard! Especially when it’s your first experience of spectrum.
schools have it hard - they have to take into consideration all of the children so it may be that the easiest option was for them to separate your son and you didn’t have the full picture.
the best thing to do is calmly have a meeting with the school, ask what was happening and why and then see if you can work with them to make a plan that is mutually beneficial for them and your son. This is going to be hard as schools are stretched for resource at the best of times but perseverance will pay off if they are a decent school.
just keep on reading other peoples accounts and experiences of this time with their lo’s and know that you’re not alone.
I do hope that you get it sorted and there is calmer times ahead for you- my ds is now 22 (adhd and asd diagnosis) and it’s been a hard slog of ups and downs still ongoing. You’ll adapt and manage and you care about what’s best for your ds so that’s what’s important x

OP you have my sympathy also. It's incredibly hard sending your 4 year old into school even when they don't have any additional needs and I would hate to think if my DS being made to sit alone. I welled up just reading your post. Ignore the posters with a massive empathy bypass.

Sorry what?

Unsure why you have tagged me. I am not even on this thread🤔

I take your point entirely. If he was hugging and becoming dysregulated, he would need someone to be with him to co regulate. Sitting him alone doesn't help and would feel like a punishment for what could well be a symptom of a disability.