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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you be bothered flying economy whilst partner flies business?

324 replies

Wigollia · 09/10/2022 17:05

For context:

You both discuss going to European city, half of accommodation each and paying for own flights.

Boyfriend messages to say they’ve booked their flights, you message to say ok I’ll book mine now, did you reserve your seat?? Boyfriend says “oh I’m flying business we can just meet up on the other side”

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Begoniasforever · 09/10/2022 17:43

Booking separately is just odd full stop. Normally one books and the other gives them their share of the cost. Never seen anything like this before

Lolliesareonme · 09/10/2022 17:44

Has he mentioned that he will be in the lounge before departure too, and has checked that he will be able to invite you - otherwise it’s not separating at the gate even.

Hawkins001 · 09/10/2022 17:44

@Wigollia
against the grain, but you both booked separately, I understand your perspectives that being together would be ideal, but then was the topic discussed in the planning stages ?

EmmaH2022 · 09/10/2022 17:45

i'm curious that he seems to have assumed you can't or won't fly business

certainly he should have discussed it with you

I have been in this situation with a friend but we discussed it first and due to work commitments, had to fly out on separate days initially anyway.

adriftabroad · 09/10/2022 17:45

OnanotherPier · 09/10/2022 17:34

Wouldn't bother me - I am usually the one who gets upgraded though we often swap half way if it's a long flight.

Also, if check in know we are travelling together very often my partner gets a free upgrade too - and he's never not been allowed in the lounge with me.

When that has happened to me I either refuse the upgrade or, more likely get a very discounted / free upgrade for whoever I am travelling with and we split the cost (if worth it)

Agree with PP, if it were one on a work trip and other decided to join, also different.

This is neither of those situations.

Midnights · 09/10/2022 17:46

You're paying for your own flights, you've only been together 7 months! If you can't afford to do business, perhaps they don't want to pay the extra when it's a short term relationship. You won't turn different ways at the gate, it's a European flight - business is just at the front section not to the left.

2bazookas · 09/10/2022 17:47

He'd be spending his holiday alone. CF!

Treacletoots · 09/10/2022 17:47

He knew exactly what he was doing when you agreed to book the flights separately.

This isn't weird, strange or anything other that utterly selfish dickhead behaviour. He clearly doesn't think you're an equal, and after 7 months he should be on his best behaviour.

Throw this turd back into the ocean where he belongs.

Albgo · 09/10/2022 17:49

Agree with others. He's showing you exactly what kind of partner he'll be to you - don't waste any more time with him.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 09/10/2022 17:50

I'd say he was a knob.

BlackberrySky · 09/10/2022 17:50

The only scenario in which this is acceptable is if DP is going on a work trip, they are paying for his ticket and you are joining self-funded. Otherwise, the guy is an arse.

TheMeanGirlsEnding · 09/10/2022 17:50

@adriftabroad That's not how upgrades work (at least not with BA) - you can't refuse them as they usually occur on full flights and your seat has already been sold to someone else.

I usually only find out when I go to check in.

My partner hardly complains, particularly lounge access on delayed flights (and we do swap on long flights).

Christmasbird · 09/10/2022 17:50

Short haul business class looks no different to economy except the curtain is drawn, possibly slightly better service. An upgrade should be quite cheap but he's still an arse for not asking if you'd like to do the same

QuitWhileAhead · 09/10/2022 17:51

Did you discuss the actual flight? The difference between prices varies so much from flight to flight it seems very odd for the cost not to be mentioned.

YellowTreeHouse · 09/10/2022 17:51

I think this would signify the end of the relationship for me. He’s too selfish.

LadyLolaRuben · 09/10/2022 17:51

So is he off to a nice restaurant on holiday while you eat in McDonalds? You don't fly like this when you're together in a group let alone a couple. He's not a team player. He's selfish and a CF. Throw him back and dont waste another day of your precious life with him. I really can't believe what I've just read!

Eddielizzard · 09/10/2022 17:52

Weird. And mean. Nope, I don't like him. If you're going together, you go together. It wouldn't kill him to fly economy, it's only a couple of hours, and the bonus is that he would be with you. He's saying he'd rather sit in luxury than spend time with you. I wouldn't go at all.

ihatesoaps · 09/10/2022 17:53

Wigollia · 09/10/2022 17:11

Can assure you this is true.

We agreed what days we would fly in and out but hadn’t booked flights together, he used his points from his Amex card for his flights.

I haven’t booked my flight and I’m not going to I don’t think. It isn’t about not being able to afford it but the travelling together thing, are we both going to turn in other directions at the gate, it’s weird isn’t it

Dump him now
Awful man
The least he could have done was book your seat too

ihatesoaps · 09/10/2022 17:53

ThreeblackCats · 09/10/2022 17:13

Wow!
well he’s told you exactly what he thinks of you.

Tell him you booked…to go to another city without him.

Brilliant!

adriftabroad · 09/10/2022 17:54

TheMeanGirlsEnding · 09/10/2022 17:50

@adriftabroad That's not how upgrades work (at least not with BA) - you can't refuse them as they usually occur on full flights and your seat has already been sold to someone else.

I usually only find out when I go to check in.

My partner hardly complains, particularly lounge access on delayed flights (and we do swap on long flights).

In my situation I can I assure you it was exactly how it worked, but thank you for sharing your experience. It was definitely with BA too.

Iwonder08 · 09/10/2022 17:54

He should have asked you full stop. Not only he hasn't even thought of getting you booked on the business class flight he also assumed you will obviously travel economy and it is perfectly fine for you. So he must be better and more important. Good job he gave you this clear indication now rather than 10 years later

Georgeskitchen · 09/10/2022 17:55

Christ almighty what a wazzock!! Get rid immediately 😉😉

SandyY2K · 09/10/2022 17:55

Very strange that you didn't book the flights together as a couple... to make sure you're both happy with the flight times.

As the accommodation is already paid for, I'd probably go on a different flight altogether and have a blast of a holiday, then dump him after the holiday.

I'd just say... *The relationship isn't working for me. All the best"

I can't be dealing with drama and explaining it to him.

2pinkginsplease · 09/10/2022 17:56

That would be the end of the relationship for me! The booking together, travelling together, staying together is a huge part for me.

get rid!

Movinghouseatlast · 09/10/2022 17:56

Fucking hell, what a dick. He could at least have told you he wanted to book business. The phrase 'he is telling uou who he is' springs to mind. Is he trying to show off and has just got it hopelessly wrong?

What a waste to use Avios points for a short haul flight though. And did he not have a companion voucher?