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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you be bothered flying economy whilst partner flies business?

324 replies

Wigollia · 09/10/2022 17:05

For context:

You both discuss going to European city, half of accommodation each and paying for own flights.

Boyfriend messages to say they’ve booked their flights, you message to say ok I’ll book mine now, did you reserve your seat?? Boyfriend says “oh I’m flying business we can just meet up on the other side”

Thoughts?

OP posts:
missmamiecuddleduck · 09/10/2022 17:12

Wow how selfish.
Does he make a lot more than you do?

Lozzybear · 09/10/2022 17:13

Just don’t get why you would book separately. I wouldn’t book separately going away with friends, never mind a boyfriend. And as for it “only” being seven months. I
moved in with my now DH after nine months. Almost 20 years later we are still together. When you know, you know. Ditch this one OP.

Hearthnhome · 09/10/2022 17:13

Wigollia · 09/10/2022 17:11

Can assure you this is true.

We agreed what days we would fly in and out but hadn’t booked flights together, he used his points from his Amex card for his flights.

I haven’t booked my flight and I’m not going to I don’t think. It isn’t about not being able to afford it but the travelling together thing, are we both going to turn in other directions at the gate, it’s weird isn’t it

Booking flights separately for a joint trip, is also weird.

You would have likely separated at the gate anyway.

ThreeblackCats · 09/10/2022 17:13

Wow!
well he’s told you exactly what he thinks of you.

Tell him you booked…to go to another city without him.

IsAinmDummm · 09/10/2022 17:14

Is he assuming you won't / can't book business class?

WillPowerLite · 09/10/2022 17:14

It's supposed to be a romantic trip together. Which it won't be now!

Dump him. I hope you have a lovely holiday elsewhere.

whereamu · 09/10/2022 17:16

It is odd. It's like he doesn't see you as a 'couple'.

BigChesterDraws · 09/10/2022 17:16

That’s not a partner. Partners book together. So that they can sit together. As you are on separate reservations if the flight is cancelled you could end up being moved to separate flights as there is no obligation on the part of the carrier to keep you together on the same flight. As far as the airline are concerned, you’re two separate parties. So from a practical perspective it’s not good, let alone the fact that it’s a bit of a dick move.

After just 7 months he’s not a partner. He’s barely a boyfriend after that stunt. He’s an acquaintance you have sex with. That’s fine if that’s all you want.

FlounderingFruitcake · 09/10/2022 17:17

I ditched DH to fly First once, the poor dear was in business. We flew out separately because he had a work trip right before but back together. He booked first and when I came to book First was cheaper than Business so obviously wasn’t paying more for a lower travel class. He got me back a few months later when he got called ahead of me on the American Airlines upgrade list. We genuinely don’t care about sitting together on a flight! When DD came along we’d deliberately book away from each other when flying long haul (in business class usually) and do shifts of baby duty giving each other equal alone time to watch a film or sleep.

That said I’d be pissed off he’s just booked without talking to you about it. I know DH and I are a bit unusual but what’s important is that we’re totally on the same page. To just spring sitting separately on you, so he can upgrade, isn’t very nice.

wherearebeefandonioncrisps · 09/10/2022 17:18

He's not your partner. Partners don't do this.

Soubriquet · 09/10/2022 17:20

Nope. I wouldn’t do it. A decent partner would either help you pay towards business or downgrade themselves.

He sounds self absorbed and selfish

mrssmith45 · 09/10/2022 17:21

Wow! Why would you not book the flights together? My bf would have booked and paid for it all! Understand that's not the case in all relationships but surely you'd book it together!

AhNowTed · 09/10/2022 17:22

I wouldn't go.

I'm too old to be treated badly and wring my hands over it.

It's a total insult and dealbreaker.

mountainsunsets · 09/10/2022 17:24

Surely you'd book flights and accommodation together?

This is just so bizarre to me! DH and I went away together after only a few months and we sat down and organised it all together Confused

AhNowTed · 09/10/2022 17:25

I wouldn't do that to a friend, never mind a so-called partner.

isthismylifenow · 09/10/2022 17:25

AhNowTed · 09/10/2022 17:22

I wouldn't go.

I'm too old to be treated badly and wring my hands over it.

It's a total insult and dealbreaker.

Agree fully with this.

BasiliskStare · 09/10/2022 17:26

Does he not have enough points to help you upgrade to business , did he offer. Yes I think booking flights separately is a bit of a strange suggestion from him - DH used to get lots and lots of air miles and used them equally for both of us - but that is 20 odd years together , not 7 months.

triedeyes · 09/10/2022 17:27

That is awful. I would not be going on the trip at all.

spiderontheceiling · 09/10/2022 17:29

The only time DH and I have booked separately is when he's been on a business trip (booked and paid for by work) and I've tagged along for a weekend at the beginning or end. On one of those, DH was offered an upgrade and, hesitantly, accepted it and that was only because it was an overnight flight, he was going straight back to work and I had the next day off,
Otherwise, I've always booked together whether I was travelling with a DP, friends or a family member. One would book and pay and the other transfer the funds for their share. That meant we always knew that, if one person's travel was affected in anyway, we'd be affected in the same way.

OnanotherPier · 09/10/2022 17:34

Wouldn't bother me - I am usually the one who gets upgraded though we often swap half way if it's a long flight.

Also, if check in know we are travelling together very often my partner gets a free upgrade too - and he's never not been allowed in the lounge with me.

ChildrenOfTheQuorn · 09/10/2022 17:38

Oof. Me and my DP have had different incomes and he always offered to pay the difference between what I would have chosen for myself, and his choice. The 7 months is a moot point.

Throw this one back.

TwoWrightFeet · 09/10/2022 17:39

This can’t be real. Why would you book separate flights? What if the plane books up between the first person booking and the second?

adriftabroad · 09/10/2022 17:41

Will you be dining together or are you just grabbing a sandwich somewhere while her goes Michelin?

L0bstersLass · 09/10/2022 17:42

Wigollia · 09/10/2022 17:05

For context:

You both discuss going to European city, half of accommodation each and paying for own flights.

Boyfriend messages to say they’ve booked their flights, you message to say ok I’ll book mine now, did you reserve your seat?? Boyfriend says “oh I’m flying business we can just meet up on the other side”

Thoughts?

If he's using airmiles, maybe there were only business seats left, and possibly only one business seat left. This does happen.
I booked business seats with my airmiles last week. Return flight from UK to a European city was £100 plus my airmiles - the only availability for using airmiles was in business.
It would have cost me over three times the amount to pay cash for the flight in economy.
Maybe he can't afford to pay cash for the flight so that's why he's in this pickle.

The best thing would have been for him to explain what he's done and why rather than let you find out in this way. If it's BA, he'll be able to guest you into the lounge.

luxxlisbon · 09/10/2022 17:43

If you booked flights on separate bookings then it’s unlikely you would have been able to sit together anyway so in that sense it isn’t a huge difference.