Why do women hate an OW?

[Oatmealbiscuits]

When a woman is seeing a married man, why do people say they wouldn't want her as a friend, in their lives anymore etc? Why are they judged solely on one thing when there may be so many other positives to their character.

I'm curious really, for the record I'm not an other woman, but my friend is. It's her business and I shall be there when the shit inevitably hits the fan.

If some posters on here had their way, she wouldn't have friends and would be isolated and lonely. I just don't think anyone deserves that when in reality it's the man who has taken vows.

Some of your posts have been very misogynist and overall pretty ghastly.
Sorry your dh cheated- that’s was his fault though. Stop raging at
women because of it

Oh, I'm wounded 😘

Personal attacks, I can only assume these ow are professional ow, long term ow who have never been in the enviable possition of being prioritised by their male partners.
They must have been indoctrinated by those all powerful men who must be obeyed and led to think their possition in society holds some kind of merit or respectability.

You are sadly mistaken.
Most of society do not like you, and that includes both sexes.

Deal with it.

And your cause is misplaced.

The title of this thread presupposes that women do hate an OW.

Hate is a very strong emotion and I wouldn't use up that mental/emotional energy on these these women.
'Hating' an OW makes them more important than they actually are.

They aren't special, they were just available.

And before anyone jumps to any conclusions, yes I've been cheated on, more than once.

‘ultimately men must take responsibility for their own harmful behavior. They cannot blame it on women.’

statistically a lot more men cheat than women, so yes. Definitely.

Only one party is married to the wife though and only one party is cheating. The other party may not know about the wife’s existence nor does she have any duty towards her.

And that’s different to ‘you must be all OW and that’s why you must be defending it’ in what way?

If one is ridiculous, how is the other ok?

Fwiw, no, as far as I know I have never been cheated on. I still don’t want to be friends with a OW or OM

There are plenty of comments on here suggesting that contrary to your assertions, some people do indeed hate the OW which by your reckoning means the OW is relevant and of importance. Sorry you have been cheated on but your obvious hatred is misdirected

By the sounds of things, the cheated on women certainly were not prioritised by the man either so I'm not really sure what point you are making. You chose a shit man. He cheated. Choose better.

Their anger is palpable and quite disturbing. They are so angry and hate filled that I doubt they are likely to find love in the future.

Their anger is palpable and quite disturbing. They are so angry and hate filled that I doubt they are likely to find love in the future.

It’s not personal- it’s an attack on your posts which have been pretty vile.

lol at most of society not liking me! You have no idea who I am.

As I’ve already said I’m not an ow nor to my knowledge have I ever been. your post above is pretty nonsensical

No self respect

So you are asking if my anger towards ow, all ow, is purely because of the ow who was involved with my h?

That my views on ow have only been formed because of my personal circumstances ? No love, they were already there, probably stemming from values taught to me by my surroundings and social upbringing, from being taught right from wrong, from being taught to be unselfish, to not harm innocent people and to respect family values and children, that women being the primary caregivers in life should help and look out for other caregivers.

It's a hard job bringing up a family, teaching children to be respectful and kind to others in a world full of narcissistic greedy pleasure seakers who have not a care for others and how to avoid those types and not be taken in by decievers who will bend the truth for their own selfish gains.

For me the damage is done, yet unbelievably I still care that this kind of excusable crap is being spouted for future generations, for younger women who are decieved by unmoralistic people who don't give a damm about others.

To warn considerate people of the harm that people like you do and how to protect themselves from the utter nonsense you promote.

To warn them not to listen and be taken in by fools.

But that assumes that no one has any responsibility to not be involved in something that causes harm, unless they posed the victim to never harm them.

Thats not how I live my life. I don’t think it’s ok to join in something that harms someone else, because I didn’t promise to nor harm them.

Again, if I see a man bullying his wife in public, I don’t join in because he is quite attractive and maybe he will pick me if I do. I don’t decide it’s ok to bully her with him and support his bullying because I never promised to not hurt her. That would make me a shit.

I wouldn’t be friends with someone whose attitude is ‘well yes, I was involved in a situation that hurt someone else. But I don’t know that person and didn’t promise them anything so it fine’.

again, you can’t come up with any situation where one party would be absolved of blame. Because it doesn’t happen. When kids bully ‘well John started bullying first’ isn’t an excuse. We tell kids they are responsible for their own part in something.

lol at most of society not liking me! You have no idea who I am

Lol, and you have no idea who I am, but I bet you'd know my family 😉

Because they’re not married and not cheating on anyone

There are an awful lot of assumptions and wide reaches on this thread about the lives and situations of complete strangers, about whom those making the reaches know precisely nothing.

I've said nothing in response to the consent issue, given that a PP tragically lost a friend who died from an STD. In view of that situation it's unsurprising that she holds the views she does; I don't in the least blame her, and understand precisely why she would view this woman's husband as a murderer. Indeed, in terms of the questions of consent she raises, there have been prosecutions in this vein when someone has knowingly infected another person with an STD.

In terms of affairs entailing the removal of sexual consent or constituting abuse, as someone who has been on the receiving end (two rapes and violent child abuse), all I will say is that I vehemently disagree that such a thing can ever be that simple. The ethics of such situations are complex, open all manner of cans of worms, pose risks of unintended consequences and potentially far-reaching and dangerous implications.

For those interested, FWR has long (and intelligently) debated the nuances of those issues. I can recommend a reading of this thread:

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/3307355-Sex-by-deception?page=5

is that right…..

it gets weirder

@MsPincher So married women are responsible for their bad choices (marrying a cheater) but OWs are nor responsible for falling on the cheater's dick?

Indeed- while I don’t want to get into that specific issue, the prosecutions were for knowingly infecting others. That wouldn’t apply to a third party who the person goes on to infect - an ow has no control over whether the dh has sex with his wife. Of course it’s a tragedy that someone has died of hiv.

no doubt affairs are hurtful- as I said above I come from a perspective of someone whose father had an affair. But you cannot blame women for them (as I refuse to blame my fathers mistress for his poor parenting or treatment of my mother- it’s his bad behavior and he’s not getting off with it).

Isn't it just?
At least some have discovered the quote button exists.

Men are responsible for their own cheating not women as I have said many many times.

I think if you want to call women sluts because they don’t agree with you, go ahead. It says more about you than them.

Two people are not though. One is married to their spouse and is cheating on them. The other is a stranger to the spouse and has no duty to them. Quite different things.

The ow who knows the mm is married is doing the same as the ow who doesn’t. Some men cheat with sex workers who don’t care if their clients are married or not (and why should they).

ultimately men must take responsibility for their own harmful behavior. They cannot blame it on women.

I am a stranger to the people i see on the bus each morning. So by your understanding if i go out of my way to something that causes them immense hurt either mentally or physically i hold no responsibility for that because I don't know them or owe them anything? Erm ok then...