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Original poster

Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!

414 replies

RooksAndRavens · 07/10/2022 07:20

Dh doesn't work on a Friday. He looks after the dcs, aged 1 and 4. I'm a part time teacher and work on a Friday. My alarm is set for 6.55am and dcs wake up naturally around then too.
Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run. But at 5.30am this morning, his stupid loud alarm went off and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep.
I think this is really selfish and unfair of him. I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get. Dc2 is still in our room and has an awful cough at the moment so that's made sleep difficult this week. And I've been struggling with anxiety badly too recently and obviously that has a knock on effect to sleep.

I told dh that he was being unfair but he said that I was awake anyway (absolutely not true) and that most people are up before I get up anyway. He's also just said hoe much better he feels for doing his exercise routine early this morning... that's great, but he won't be teaching thirty 5 year olds today! I feel so exhausted already.

Am I being totally unreasonable here?

OP posts:
ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 09/10/2022 19:22

BettyT87 · 09/10/2022 14:23

I’m a teacher and I am in work by 6.55am! I think OP should be grateful their ‘demanding’ job let’s them lie in until nearly 7am!!

In my 27 years teaching, I knew no teacher who got in at that time. Senior Management maybe, but not teachers. Unless they were kind of desperate.

l used to get in at 8:20, for 9:00 am start. You must be doing something wrong to be in at that time.

BettyT87 · 09/10/2022 21:34

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 09/10/2022 19:22

In my 27 years teaching, I knew no teacher who got in at that time. Senior Management maybe, but not teachers. Unless they were kind of desperate.

l used to get in at 8:20, for 9:00 am start. You must be doing something wrong to be in at that time.

Show quote history

Def not doing anything wrong. Clearly just work in a very good school where we work hard to make sure every child achieves the way they should. None of this lazy teaching where you barely have enough time to get in your class before kids arrive. 90s teaching that!

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 09/10/2022 21:35

I worked on one of the top 25 comprehensives in the U.K. though.

Herejustforthisone · 09/10/2022 21:39

BettyT87 · 09/10/2022 21:34

Def not doing anything wrong. Clearly just work in a very good school where we work hard to make sure every child achieves the way they should. None of this lazy teaching where you barely have enough time to get in your class before kids arrive. 90s teaching that!

Show quote history

I told you to get a grip because the time you start (or believe you have to start in order to be deemed successful, in your case) is an utter irrelevance to how pressured a job is.

You obviously take a lot of your self importance from your early start at your likely overworked and underpaid job as a teacher place of work, but surely you can see the distinct lack of logic in your jibe at the OP?

Or would you tell my brother that starting work ar midday for his 12-hour shift as a consultant in emergency medicine is not pressured because lie in?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 09/10/2022 21:42

And my colleague who was described as inspirational by Ofsted arrived 10 minutes before the bell….

Theres a difference between needing to be in and presenti-ism.

My Alevel scores were consistently red hot on the Alpha scale. Never had to get in at 6.55am.

Abouttimemum · 09/10/2022 21:44

I get up at 5.30am to exercise as it’s the only time I get and it makes me feel much better.
I then go off to a demanding job afterwards!

DH doesn’t seem fussed but then he’d sleep through an earthquake!

ELVIEJAY · 10/10/2022 07:09

You sound like me, i find it so hard to get to sleep, wake easily, then can't get back to sleep. Then the annoyance of getting woken by an alarm would mean I'd then be lying awake thinking (seething!) about it!
I think he should know you well and consider this. My husband has a cheap vibrating watch that we used in the newborn days. He often sleeps in the spare room as he works shifts. However our son wakes up as soon as he has a shower (he refuses to shower in the evening instead but i TRY and appreciate he's not a morning person and a shower wakes him up).
He occasionally talks about starting the gym and getting up even earlier. The idea drives me mad as its just assumed I'll get up and look after our son on my own all morning while he does what he likes.

itsjustnotok · 11/10/2022 15:53

I can’t believe that you’ve come on mumsnet tbh OP. Why not have a grown up chat with your DH and explain that you’re struggling to get back to sleep and are struggling. Your DH is keeping himself fit and isn’t trying to squirm out of doing his share of looking after the kids, which can also be stressful. I can’t see him needing an alarm being a problem just that may be a rethink in terms of the sort he uses needing a discussion.

Backtobacknow · 11/10/2022 17:21

Clymene · 07/10/2022 12:15

@LuckySantangelo35 - I bet you a tenner this is the only day he looks after the children. And he's sabotaging the OP's work by waking her up stupidly early.

The exercise is an excuse. He clearly doesn't set his loud alarm at this time any other day of the week or the OP would have said. It's just the day when he's doing what he sees as women's work - looking after small children.

He may not even be doing it consciously. Probably isn't - most people aren't quite that Machiavellian. But he's doing it.

Christ, that is some chip on your shoulder!

What a shitty nasty attitude you have!
You must be gutted that OP and DH have worked it out, would've pleased you more if OP came back on here saying you were right and they couldn't reach a compromise.

Galaktoboureko · 11/10/2022 19:34

I get the impression Clymene doesn't like men. 😂 I'm sure I've seen her posting about it for ages unless I'm mistaking her for someone else.

Clymene · 11/10/2022 19:44

Galaktoboureko · 11/10/2022 19:34

I get the impression Clymene doesn't like men. 😂 I'm sure I've seen her posting about it for ages unless I'm mistaking her for someone else.

I like a lot of men. Unfortunately a lot of them are arseholes and there are a lot of women who have been brought up to think any man is better than no man.

In that sense, I guess you can say I don't like men. I hold them to the same standards I hold women.

Have a pass agg Smile too

marcopront · 11/10/2022 19:53

itsjustnotok · 11/10/2022 15:53

I can’t believe that you’ve come on mumsnet tbh OP. Why not have a grown up chat with your DH and explain that you’re struggling to get back to sleep and are struggling. Your DH is keeping himself fit and isn’t trying to squirm out of doing his share of looking after the kids, which can also be stressful. I can’t see him needing an alarm being a problem just that may be a rethink in terms of the sort he uses needing a discussion.

I can't believe you haven't read the whole thread before commenting.

The OP has spoken to her husband about it.

Galaktoboureko · 11/10/2022 21:18

I like a lot of men. Unfortunately a lot of them are arseholes and there are a lot of women who have been brought up to think any man is better than no man.

Well, I can't argue with that as I said the same thing on another thread the other day. But I am going to start referring to you as Clymean from now on. 😂

Backtobacknow · 12/10/2022 11:06

Clymene · 11/10/2022 19:44

I like a lot of men. Unfortunately a lot of them are arseholes and there are a lot of women who have been brought up to think any man is better than no man.

In that sense, I guess you can say I don't like men. I hold them to the same standards I hold women.

Have a pass agg Smile too

Show quote history

You may not like men, but you should not come onto a thread and make up a scenario that hasn't happened, don't inflict your issues on others.

He doesn't want to look after the child, he thinks it's a womans work, you do not know this man and have no right to make up nonsense.

The thread was about an alarm, that was it.

Your issues should stay with you, it's like you are trying to make every woman hate the man she is with?

Clymene · 12/10/2022 12:03

Nope @Backtobacknow. I'm just trying to make women see they don't have to put up with this kind of shit Smile

billy1966 · 12/10/2022 12:16

I have found that @Clymene adds wisdom to threads and is very encouraging of women.

OP's husband is a selfish arse to wake his exhausted wife with an alarm at 5.30am

Only selfish people do this.

I'm glad the OP has told him to go to the sofa if he wants to get up at this hour.

So many women tolerate selfish actions from selfish men.

A good man would know better.
I'm married to one and neither of us would dream of doing this.

We are not selfish arses though and are married 30 years.

Backtobacknow · 12/10/2022 12:39

billy1966 · 12/10/2022 12:16

I have found that @Clymene adds wisdom to threads and is very encouraging of women.

OP's husband is a selfish arse to wake his exhausted wife with an alarm at 5.30am

Only selfish people do this.

I'm glad the OP has told him to go to the sofa if he wants to get up at this hour.

So many women tolerate selfish actions from selfish men.

A good man would know better.
I'm married to one and neither of us would dream of doing this.

We are not selfish arses though and are married 30 years.

another making up nonsense, in one post she says in can sleep on the sofa, the other she says they reached a compromise, as couples do!

So many selfish women in this world, it's not just men!

I've been happily married 35 years, does that trump you?

Backtobacknow · 12/10/2022 12:40

Clymene · 12/10/2022 12:03

Nope @Backtobacknow. I'm just trying to make women see they don't have to put up with this kind of shit Smile

By making up shit?

You sound totally hateful towards men!

He sets an alarm and wakes DW on once and he's selfish, doesn't want the baby to look after.

Backtobacknow · 12/10/2022 12:46

billy1966 · 12/10/2022 12:16

I have found that @Clymene adds wisdom to threads and is very encouraging of women.

OP's husband is a selfish arse to wake his exhausted wife with an alarm at 5.30am

Only selfish people do this.

I'm glad the OP has told him to go to the sofa if he wants to get up at this hour.

So many women tolerate selfish actions from selfish men.

A good man would know better.
I'm married to one and neither of us would dream of doing this.

We are not selfish arses though and are married 30 years.

You think that the fact that the OPs DH woke her up once (as far as we are aware) with the alarm, that he deserves this

I bet you a tenner this is the only day he looks after the children. And he's sabotaging the OP's work by waking her up stupidly early.
The exercise is an excuse. He clearly doesn't set his loud alarm at this time any other day of the week or the OP would have said. It's just the day when he's doing what he sees as women's work - looking after small children.
He may not even be doing it consciously. Probably isn't - most people aren't quite that Machiavellian. But he's doing it.

You think that is justified, and that the couple shouldn't just reach a compromise as they did! It's awful reaction to a fairly insignificant thing as a one off that was sorted in 48 hours.

GloriousGlory · 12/10/2022 12:55

Good to see it's ok for you to give out the pass agg 😊 @Clymene!

But not keen on receiving them? 😂

marcopront · 12/10/2022 13:00

Clymene · 12/10/2022 12:03

Nope @Backtobacknow. I'm just trying to make women see they don't have to put up with this kind of shit Smile

You are making assumptions though.

Using the word maybe would change the tone a lot.

Luxembourgmama · 12/10/2022 13:00

Massively selfish he needs a smart watch that vibrates gently I haven't been doing my morning workouts since I lost my smart watch because im not a selfish shit so I wouldn't use another type of alarm

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/10/2022 13:01

Clymene · 12/10/2022 12:03

Nope @Backtobacknow. I'm just trying to make women see they don't have to put up with this kind of shit Smile

@Clymene

they don’t have to put up with a man who wants to exercise?!

when should he exercise on fridays in your view?

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/10/2022 13:04

He uses a vibrating alarm

problem solved

exercise is non negotiable

Clymene · 12/10/2022 13:06

Thank you @billy1966 - right back at you Smile

I'm really not sure why this thread is being revived by people just to have a go at me when the OP resolved the issue at the weekend. Very odd behaviour and I'm sure not remotely helpful to her

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