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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!

414 replies

RooksAndRavens · 07/10/2022 07:20

Dh doesn't work on a Friday. He looks after the dcs, aged 1 and 4. I'm a part time teacher and work on a Friday. My alarm is set for 6.55am and dcs wake up naturally around then too.
Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run. But at 5.30am this morning, his stupid loud alarm went off and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep.
I think this is really selfish and unfair of him. I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get. Dc2 is still in our room and has an awful cough at the moment so that's made sleep difficult this week. And I've been struggling with anxiety badly too recently and obviously that has a knock on effect to sleep.

I told dh that he was being unfair but he said that I was awake anyway (absolutely not true) and that most people are up before I get up anyway. He's also just said hoe much better he feels for doing his exercise routine early this morning... that's great, but he won't be teaching thirty 5 year olds today! I feel so exhausted already.

Am I being totally unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 08/10/2022 16:04

marcopront · 08/10/2022 15:57

How is getting up to exercise before the children wake up not being present in the morning?

Because DC are not robots and there will be mornings they wake up earlier or later.

Because there is always the potential that they wake up earlier.
Because he can only leave the house to exercise because his wife is there in the house available to be woken up if needed, therefore, on the one morning when her DH is taking responsibility for childcare, she by default is doing it again!

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:06

@marcopront

do you exercise? When I exercise… I run (outside) or I’m doing an online class

I am most certainly not “present” and make that very clear to my children!

mycatisannoying · 08/10/2022 16:06

I work in education. I'm deeply jealous that you get to sleep in until 6.55! misses point
Anyway, if it was a one-off then I wouldn't get my knickers in a knot.

mycatisannoying · 08/10/2022 16:08

Clymene · 07/10/2022 07:25

Clearly he doesn't want to look after the children on Friday. What a selfish arsehole. And yoor husband is even worse @hangryorhungry

Umm, what?

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:10

@Lightattheendofthetunnel100 OP has made it very clear that the DC don't wake up until 6.55! They didn't wake up when the OH got up. But he must stay home until such time they naturally rise just in case?

saraclara · 08/10/2022 16:11

Why all the hyperbole? He has at least four other days of the week in which to get up early and exercise

You know this man then, do you? You know what time he has to set off for his paid work on those other four days? Presumably his commute doesn't start at 6:30 like mine used to.

Again, there's nothing wrong with him getting up early. He just needs to do it without waking OP and risking waking the kids. It's really not a complicated issue, but OP is allowed to vent about it.

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:13

@mycatisannoying I know! Then @Clymene goes into a further rant that he sees it as woman's work!

Misandry at its best! Angry

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 08/10/2022 16:17

saraclara · 08/10/2022 16:11

Why all the hyperbole? He has at least four other days of the week in which to get up early and exercise

You know this man then, do you? You know what time he has to set off for his paid work on those other four days? Presumably his commute doesn't start at 6:30 like mine used to.

Again, there's nothing wrong with him getting up early. He just needs to do it without waking OP and risking waking the kids. It's really not a complicated issue, but OP is allowed to vent about it.

No I don't know this man Saraclara but I can read the op properly which says

"Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run"

Why is it so hard for him to compromise on one single morning?

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 08/10/2022 16:21

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:10

@Lightattheendofthetunnel100 OP has made it very clear that the DC don't wake up until 6.55! They didn't wake up when the OH got up. But he must stay home until such time they naturally rise just in case?

Yes he should imho There is always a potential for a one year old to wake earlier!

And if it's the op's only opportunity during the week to sleep a bit later, I would be pissed off if I had to get up to attend to my baby when it was dh's day for childcare!

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:26

Oh give over, total whataboutery!

The children sleep to 6.55, this appears to be the only day OP works (which seems the cause of a lot of her stress), one day they might wake up early is not a reason for the DH to stay home.

OP by her own admission is suffering anxiety, stressed at work.

It's very difficult to live with and if this man wants to exercise whilst the family is in bed, then bloody good luck to him! It's important that he looks after his own mental and physical health.

Your analogy of do it when OP is home? Well surely when the children are awake is the time he should be present?

Christ man exercises when family are asleep and he is not needed = selfish bastard?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 08/10/2022 16:28

I’d go insane at my Dh if he did this. I feel shite if l get up early,

Firtubately Dh knows this, and on his gym days sleeps in another room with a vibrating alarm.

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:30

And if it's the op's only opportunity during the week to sleep a bit later, I would be pissed off if I had to get up to attend to my baby when it was dh's day for childcare!

@Lightattheendofthetunnel100 the children sleep to 6.55 every morning? Why are you saying it's the only day she gets to het that sleep?

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:31

I do t think I’ve come across a thread where an op has absented herself and yet a poster dedicates herself to fighting the OP’s corner, at length and with such vigour as @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy !

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:32

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:30

And if it's the op's only opportunity during the week to sleep a bit later, I would be pissed off if I had to get up to attend to my baby when it was dh's day for childcare!

@Lightattheendofthetunnel100 the children sleep to 6.55 every morning? Why are you saying it's the only day she gets to het that sleep?

Or do Saturday and Sundays not count as quality sleep?

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:34

or rather the opposite!

a quiet Saturday perhaps @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy ? 😂

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:35

Oh I meant @GloriousGlory !!

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 08/10/2022 16:40

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:31

I do t think I’ve come across a thread where an op has absented herself and yet a poster dedicates herself to fighting the OP’s corner, at length and with such vigour as @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy !

Do you mean me? I haven't rtwt. Incorrect nn if so!

Anyhow, I seem to have stumbled on to a thread where posters are challenged repeatedly for having a different opinion to their own. Nothing to do with "defending" the op but I can see her viewpoint! Just happen to think differently to the rest of you if that's alright!

I can't stand these men who put their hobbies before family life. Raising young DC should be about team work and getting through a tough phase together. Not disturbing your other half unnecessarily and not going out exercising when it's your dedicated day for childcare. So shoot.me!

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:41

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:34

or rather the opposite!

a quiet Saturday perhaps @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy ? 😂

Wtf?

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:42

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:35

Oh I meant @GloriousGlory !!

Again WTF?

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:42

I'm confused @Doingprettywellthanks?

Help me 😂

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:45

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:42

I'm confused @Doingprettywellthanks?

Help me 😂

I’m in awe of the dedication, commitment and time you have dedicated to this thread!

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 08/10/2022 16:46

Doingprettywellthanks · 08/10/2022 16:35

Oh I meant @GloriousGlory !!

😄😄 Nope.
Wrong again!

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:46

@Lightattheendofthetunnel100 he's doing his hobby when the family are asleep, the OP had stated they sleep until 7!

Jesus, he's hardly insisting OP comes home at lunchtime to facilitate his hobby! He's not off cycling all weekend?

But of course of course he must stay home just in case the baby wakes! Which incidentally didn't happen on Friday! What a surprise!

I admire people who exercise and look after their MH and PH!

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 08/10/2022 16:50

[sigh] I happen to disagree. Is that ok with you?

I think it's reasonable to accommodate his wife's needs on one morning a week.

I can't be bothered to argue further. There used to be a time when people could disagree amicably on Mumsnet!

GloriousGlory · 08/10/2022 16:50

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 08/10/2022 16:50

[sigh] I happen to disagree. Is that ok with you?

I think it's reasonable to accommodate his wife's needs on one morning a week.

I can't be bothered to argue further. There used to be a time when people could disagree amicably on Mumsnet!

Good! Bye bye!

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