Husband woke me up with 5.30 alarm so he could do a work out!

[RooksAndRavens]

Dh doesn't work on a Friday. He looks after the dcs, aged 1 and 4. I'm a part time teacher and work on a Friday. My alarm is set for 6.55am and dcs wake up naturally around then too.
Dh has got it in his head that he wants to get up early every morning to do a work out or go for a run. But at 5.30am this morning, his stupid loud alarm went off and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep.
I think this is really selfish and unfair of him. I'm the one with a demanding job today and need all the sleep I can get. Dc2 is still in our room and has an awful cough at the moment so that's made sleep difficult this week. And I've been struggling with anxiety badly too recently and obviously that has a knock on effect to sleep.

I told dh that he was being unfair but he said that I was awake anyway (absolutely not true) and that most people are up before I get up anyway. He's also just said hoe much better he feels for doing his exercise routine early this morning... that's great, but he won't be teaching thirty 5 year olds today! I feel so exhausted already.

Am I being totally unreasonable here?

Whenever people post mysandrist stuff like that, I assume that they must have really horrible husbands, and can't imagine other men being any different. And then remind myself to try to feel sorry for them instead of being annoyed by their posts. I usually fail though.

My DH gets up every single day at 5 30am to workout before work. I think it's amazing. It's so vitally important to his health and well being. I literally couldn't mind less.

He is unreasonable for waking you up and not having a quieter vibrating alarm.

You are very unreasonable for being a teacher who uses the words "could of"

I agree and I also fail @saraclara.

Oh stop it with your reasonable attitude and behaviour! You know deep down he's doing it to piss you off and make your life harder!

Good for you.

Are you also battling severe anxiety and sleep problems? If not, it's not comparable at all.

If my DH had anxiety and poor sleep I would do whatever I could to not wake him if I woke up before him. Certainly wouldn't have a really loud alarm and then moan at him for being extra tired.

I was! But you made me doubt myself and re-read all the OPs posts again.
No worries. 🤣

You know what is good for anxiety and sleep problems? Exercise.

doingprettywellthanks we have talked about it a lot.

I really want to support his exercise so we are trying to make it work.

We have a super king bed with separate mattresses.

Separate rooms might be an option at some point.

The exercise evangelists really are out in force on this thread.

I don't think anyone (including the OP) is saying that he shouldn't exercise. OP's problem is with his alarm walking her up when she already has sleep issues.

There is nothing in the OP that implies that OP doesn't take exercise of her own at other times. But it clearly doesn't suit her sleep pattern (nor is it practical) for her to do it at 5:30am.

So many comments!
I just think my dh was being inconsiderate. It wasn't like he needed to put the alarm on for work. And it was just the timing of it all - baby not well, me with anxiety at the moment, plus the demands of my work, etc.

Today has been so draining. No LSA all day and one child with very aggressive behaviour who ended up being removed from the class by slt. Then my own children to come home to, one who isn't well. House jobs, dinner, dc's bedtime... didn't sit down until 8.45 and now I'm off to bed. It all feels too much when sleep deprived.

If dh wants to put any sort of alarm on tomorrow morning, that's fine but he can sleep on the sofa. I'm exhausted, run down and I don't want broken sleep on account of his exercise routine.

If you don't mind me asking, are you overweight, OP?

Who wouldn't mind you asking? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

@Galaktoboureko no, more underweight I think. 5 foot 5 and 7 stone 10.
Why do you ask?

I can't believe people think this is acceptable and just part of sharing a room - no it's bloody not!

I get up early to exercise but my alarm is on my watch which vibrates only.

I leave my clothes in the bathroom or downstairs along with my kit bag.

It takes me about 30 seconds from the alarm going off to being out of bed and away from the bedroom. Some mornings DH doesn't even stir.

There is absolutely no reason WHATSOEVER for the person getting up early to need a loud alarm and then be walking around the bedroom getting ready.

Selfish selfish selfish.

WTAF?

Strong username to attitude correlation. 😂

Most people who aren't overweight wouldn't care IME. I certainly wouldn't and OP doesn't seem to. I just wondered if her attitude towards health and associated guilt may have been a factor in her reaction but seemingly not.

I'd be joining him or at least trying to facilitate so he could in return look after them while I hit the gym after work. But each to their own.

Why? OP needs sleep more than she needs exercise at that time of day. Because she has a different set of needs from her husband, given that she had insomnia and he doesn't.

And again, you have no idea what exercise she already does. Maybe she does go to the gym or to classes. But that's not what this thread is about. It's about her DH not considering her needs and waking her up with his loud alarm.

No, I haven’t RT whole FT but I do know, as a retired teacher, that the OP has hit the ground running and done 15 times his ‘“job” today with thorough planning and expected outcomes.
What he’s done is totally unacceptable. He needs to be far more considerate of you, OP. Accept nothing less.

these comments are horrendous! berating the woman for wanting a good nights sleep. Implying she's overweight and controlling smdh. A good nights sleep is essential for mental health. She's also being responsible as a teacher. Do you want someone exhausted looking after your children?

There have also been horrendous comments about the DH not wanting to look after the baby, that he's upset and doing it because he sees it as woman's work. That he doesn't work and has the easy job of looking after children (it's perfectly clear in the OP that he doesn't work Fridays, not that he doesn't work) Your own assumption that OPs work is harder than his, maybe it's only harder on a Friday and he's a teacher Mon - Thursday?

He was getting up to exercise, he also lost an hours sleep, I admire his commitment to exercise.

It's good for both mental and physical health.

I don't really understand this thread. DH & I work really long hours & one of us sometimes has to get up really early so we set an alarm which wakes the other. That's life surely?

Quite!

Nope, that’s a decent marriage.

the OP’s one isn’t.

Simple as that