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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids aside, if you could go back in time would you still marry your husband/wife?

233 replies

TrialsAndTribulationss · 05/10/2022 20:00

Just interested if anyone else would choose not to or if I’m on my own with this one? Will stick with him for this lifetime though

OP posts:
Rowenadayday · 05/10/2022 21:48

No. I love him but overnight he turned into a workaholic with no interest in anything other than work, and life is lonely as hell.

In my next life I’ll choose a man who knows how to express affection, enjoys cuddles, and likes to watch tv and do activities together occasionally.

tuscanleather · 05/10/2022 21:51

Yes, definitely!

PerfectlyPreservedQuagaarWarrior · 05/10/2022 21:55

Like a shot.

notanothertakeaway · 05/10/2022 21:56

Yes absolutely. Together 18 years

Dyra · 05/10/2022 21:58

Yes. I'd change a great many things about my life, but I'd still go and find DH and make him mine.

sanityisamyth · 05/10/2022 21:58

100% no. He was financially and emotionally abusive.

medianewbie · 05/10/2022 22:00

Hell no ...

ThatThingOverThere · 05/10/2022 22:00

Yeah. He’s my best mate and has two of the most important qualities; kindness and humour. Neither of us are perfect but we have patience with each other and talk all the time about everything and anything. 15 years together so far and although we’re no longer at the insatiable stage of love and lust, we understand each other on a deeper level. I feel at home when I’m with him. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

Also a few of my friends are single and going through the dating saga and it’s bleak. I feel very lucky.

Echobelly · 05/10/2022 22:00

Yes. DH has his faults and can be an arse sometimes, but I can't say I've ever felt I wished I'd married someone else, or met someone I wish I'd got together with or thought that I'd rather be married to someone who was more like this guy or that guy. I'm really not someone for whom there are that many fish in the sea I think and I'm confident I made the right choice at the end of the day.

NotAHouse · 05/10/2022 22:01

Nope.

Shitfather · 05/10/2022 22:01

Never in a million years, even if he was the last cunt on the planet.

PortalooSunset · 05/10/2022 22:08

Very definitely. Which is funny because I wasn't 100% sure when I did it nearly 30 years ago!

Youdoyoutoday · 05/10/2022 22:09

Yes without a doubt! Wish I'd done 25 years when we first met!

Youdoyoutoday · 05/10/2022 22:10

*Years ago

DifficultBloodyWoman · 05/10/2022 22:13

Yes.

DH isn’t perfect and nor am I.
As with all long term relationships, we have had ups and downs.

But he is pretty darn wonderful all the same.

Although - if there is an option to upgrade to a non-snoring version of him, I would take that!

Apartridgeinachestnuttree · 05/10/2022 22:15

For my DH as an individual I’d marry him over and over and over. I love his company and value his friendship. He’s kind, funny and one of the best people I know.

If I knew then what I know now about the effect his family (MIL/SIL) would have on my mental health and confidence, I would run a mile.

waterproofed · 05/10/2022 22:19

I really would. I still fancy lots of people in passing but no one I’d rather share life with, by a long mile. I also wouldn’t be single, I like having people around me.

TheGoogleMum · 05/10/2022 22:21

Yes I think I would. He's pretty great most of the time

echt · 05/10/2022 22:22

Absolutely, and would wish to have met my late DH a little earlier in life so as to have more time with him. He was only 61 when he died.

NotMeekNotObedient · 05/10/2022 22:23

Hard one. Sometimes he can suck so much joy out of stuff. But other times he really makes me giggle and feel loved.

I think we're going though a bit of a hard stage, young kid and we don't get to spend so much time together, plus money is tight. We don't have much of a chance to have fun and we are knackered all the time.

But I do think on some levels we are fundamentally different, his upbringing like a PP mentioned, really shows now we have kids. He's much more introverted than I realised too.

Hoping things will improve because he is a good person and has been my absolute rock though some shitty times.

I do hope we can find some common interests again as we age.

PonyPatter44 · 05/10/2022 22:29

I wouldn't even have gone on a second date...

sammyjoanne · 05/10/2022 22:30

Yes definitely.

sunflowerdaisyrose · 05/10/2022 22:33

Yes, he's a wonderful man in every way, we are lucky to have found each other

Beefilm · 05/10/2022 22:34

Probably not. We are good friends and get along with each other well enough but he has never been romantic and he told me when we got engaged that he wouldn't be able to give me what I wanted emotionally, and, as it turns out, he was right.

I still wouldn't split up with him though for £5 million (see other thread).

Iusedtobecarmen · 05/10/2022 22:34

Erm, maybe not.
Echo what others have said about yes to the man he was, no to the one he's now.
Think I wouldn't be interested or put up with him if I met him now, and same him with me.

One thing I would do if I could turn back time ,is totally do things differently and then I'd feel better about myself today.