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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids aside, if you could go back in time would you still marry your husband/wife?

233 replies

TrialsAndTribulationss · 05/10/2022 20:00

Just interested if anyone else would choose not to or if I’m on my own with this one? Will stick with him for this lifetime though

OP posts:
hereyougoagain · 05/10/2022 21:29

Would have married my first DH(we are still friends),
wouldn’t have my second abusive one (divorcing now). I knew I was going against my own heart and soul though and followed practicalities (and lust), was brought up not to listen to myself…

Alaimo · 05/10/2022 21:30

Yes. We had a difficult time about 2 years ago but since then things have improved and lately our relationship has been the best it's ever been.

If I could change one thing it's that I would have liked to have met him a few years later. We met when I was 22 (married when I was 30) and sometimes I think that it would have been nice to have had a few more years of dating & casual sex before settling down.

Helpmeheal · 05/10/2022 21:32

Yes absolutely, a million times over

Iknowforsure1 · 05/10/2022 21:32

I would. Just for the fact he’s the one treating me well, despite everything, consistently. I can’t say the same about anyone else in my life.

Wigglywiggly · 05/10/2022 21:33

No. Not because of anything dh has or hasn't done. I just don't suit marriage. Still trying though, 10 years in. I don't think I'd even live with someone again, let alone marry them.

Pegsmum · 05/10/2022 21:33

No.

Peoplepissmeoff · 05/10/2022 21:34

Probably not no. He's a decent man, but I think I knew from the start that we weren't soulmates. I know the passion and the novelty of a new relationship doesn't usually last but it all feels a bit stale after 17 years together. I sometimes wish that instead of divorce you could choose to renew your marriage after so many years. I don't think I would've renewed mine.

Oblomov22 · 05/10/2022 21:34

God yes. I knew he was a diamond as soon as I met him.

purplepandas · 05/10/2022 21:35

No, not happy here but it's too tricky now to leave. Accept and put up with it. A good man and dad, but not for me.

Luckycatt · 05/10/2022 21:36

If he'd have me. I think I got the better deal.

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 05/10/2022 21:37

Yes, for sure.

beccahamlet · 05/10/2022 21:38

Yes. Mine is 100% diamond. My ex was a bit dodgy.

Cornishclio · 05/10/2022 21:40

Yes. It was his birthday today and on my card it said I would marry again. No regrets. We have 2 daughters and 2 granddaughters.

MatildaJayne · 05/10/2022 21:40

No, because he cheated and left me and the kids. But the first few years were fine. It was having the kids that changed everything. DS2 has SN and took all my time and energy and exH got frustrated and bored. I deserved better, tbh. Me and the DC did.

OopsUpsideYerEad · 05/10/2022 21:41

Yes, 100%

Sceptre86 · 05/10/2022 21:42

Yes. Hope we are together in this life and the next.

Wideawakeandconfused · 05/10/2022 21:43

Absolutely. I’d marry him again tomorrow if he asked me.

surreygirl1987 · 05/10/2022 21:43

In a heartbeat

DoingJustFine · 05/10/2022 21:44

Today, yes! Yesterday, maybe not. Tomorrow - who knows?

The first DH, absolutely 100% no. He wrecked my life in ways that still made me incredibly sad.

2anddone · 05/10/2022 21:44

No I think deep down even on my wedding day I knew I was doing the wrong thing

Babdoc · 05/10/2022 21:44

Absolutely yes. Even if I had known in advance that he would die of a brain haemorrhage at 36, leaving me widowed with two babies, I would still have married him for the 16 loving years we had together.

Underhisi · 05/10/2022 21:44

Yes. We have had and still have a lot of shit to contend with but we get through it together.

queenofthewild · 05/10/2022 21:47

Absolutely. He's my best friend I can't imagine life without him.

Cameleongirl · 05/10/2022 21:47

Yes, but I would put my feet down about more things, e.g., house moves we made for his career ( that I didn’t really want to do). But as a person, I’d 100% marry him again. ❤️

NumberTheory · 05/10/2022 21:47

Yes. Children aside especially. He was a better partner before children, but I think, probably, so was I.