Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids aside, if you could go back in time would you still marry your husband/wife?

233 replies

TrialsAndTribulationss · 05/10/2022 20:00

Just interested if anyone else would choose not to or if I’m on my own with this one? Will stick with him for this lifetime though

OP posts:
reigatecastle · 05/10/2022 20:52

Probably. He's not the most dynamic of people but he's solid and kind and I've never had to worry about him straying.

But part of me would like to go back and keep hold of one of the German boyfriends I had so my kids had EU passports!

Greenginghamdress · 05/10/2022 20:53

No. I wouldn't have gone out with him.

ReneBumsWombats · 05/10/2022 20:53

A thousand times yes.

CakeEatersRUs · 05/10/2022 20:53

Yes and no. He essentially is a good honest man who works hard and we have a nice life with our child.

But he is younger than me and has taken a while to mature I had a hard time after the birth of our child as he could not accept he needed to change his lifestyle. He can still turn nasty once he has had a drink - not violent but just says horrid things he can't remember the next day.

He has always been like this and I probably should have ended the relationship in the early days when it would have been easier to walk away. As it is I love him and in a way I've settled - I can put up with the odd horrid word or two because the rest of the time it's good

Feelthefearagain · 05/10/2022 20:56

Yes, yes, yes. Fifty years on, I adore him

Mulhollandmagoo · 05/10/2022 20:56

I would definitely 😁 due to school/work shifts we had an absolute fluke of a weekday just the two of us last week and it was bloody amazing, I'd almost forgotten how much I enjoy spending time just the two of us, it's so much different to when you have kids with you - much more relaxed!

I do know a couple of my friends who I know wouldn't though, they have lovely kids and lovely loves which they don't want to have to give up, which is fair enough I guess.

AnnabelC · 05/10/2022 20:56

No.

Mulhollandmagoo · 05/10/2022 20:56

Lovely lives 🤦‍♀️

Celebrityskint · 05/10/2022 20:57

Yes... a thousand times yes... in every lifetime I want to be reunited with him.

When we first met we were besotted with each other... I thought it was true love.

Then we went through some tougher times, had a child, and 20 years have went by... and I love him even more now

spicysoup · 05/10/2022 20:58

Absolutely. It hasn't been an easy road for us, but we still fancy each other, make each other laugh and respect each other. I think he's brilliant.

Patty101 · 05/10/2022 20:59

Nope. Been together over 15 years but only married for about 5. I came so close to leaving before we got married but decided to stay because I couldnt find anywhere to live that would let me keep my 2 cats. Fast forward 5 years and now I don't want to split my family up. Kids and cats.

He's not a bad person, we've just grown apart. And the spark has long gone. I don't dwell on it, and my kids make me so happy, so I have made peace with the fact that this is the life I've made for myself.

Maybe one day something will change but I do sometimes wonder where'd I'd be if I'd hidden my cats in a suitcase and moved out all those years ago.

OriginalUsername3 · 05/10/2022 20:59

No. I ignored red flags and he's abusive.

I leave soon.

I struggle with balancing the regret with how my life has turned out and feeling like I could never live without my DS so guilt over wishing I hadn't met his dad (and therefore subsequently had him)

Palmfrond · 05/10/2022 20:59

No.
We have a happy life, and I think overall I’ve been very lucky, but I was naive and could have chosen much more carefully.

COPPER3 · 05/10/2022 21:00

Absolutely a big FUCK OFF ..NO!

AlongCameBetsy · 05/10/2022 21:00

No! But only if that meant I would meet my current partner sooner. As it stands I would choose this same path in order to have her in my life at last.

Merlo · 05/10/2022 21:00

100% No. often wish I had a time machine……

BBBBMushroom · 05/10/2022 21:01

100% Almost 25 years together.

the80sweregreat · 05/10/2022 21:01

No , I would have ditched him.
I was too young and silly

SudocremOnEverything · 05/10/2022 21:01

No. Most definitely not.

HairyMothballs · 05/10/2022 21:01

Yes. He's supported me in so many ways, over the years. He still holds my hand when we're out. Married for 42 years now.

WeneedSamVimesonthecase · 05/10/2022 21:01

Yes, he's fab. I actually appreciate him more now than I did when I married him, because he's shown himself over and over to be endlessly loyal, kind and selfless.

netflixandnaps · 05/10/2022 21:01

I would most definitely marry my first ex husband again. He was the only man who truly loved me and wasn't abusive! I f'd up massively by leaving him. I was very unwell mentally, someone should have stopped me!

AnneLovesGilbert · 05/10/2022 21:01

Every day of the week. He’s the best.

Paq · 05/10/2022 21:01

Yes, but if you asked me 7 years ago I might have had a different answer!

blebbleb · 05/10/2022 21:02

Yes 100%. We were together 9 years before we had kids anyway. He's my best friend.

Swipe left for the next trending thread