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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Kids aside, if you could go back in time would you still marry your husband/wife?

233 replies

TrialsAndTribulationss · 05/10/2022 20:00

Just interested if anyone else would choose not to or if I’m on my own with this one? Will stick with him for this lifetime though

OP posts:
ncncncnc123 · 05/10/2022 20:30

Those of you who are saying no but are staying put, are you happy anyway? How do you make peace with having chosen the wrong person?

Humobean · 05/10/2022 20:30

Yes, together since 1993❤️. He's a lovely person.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/10/2022 20:31

Yes, he’s been a lovely husband and father, and now a grandpa, too. I know I’ve been very lucky.

HighlandPony · 05/10/2022 20:31

Yep. I’d maybe be a little more sober for it but I’d still do it

UthredofBattenberg · 05/10/2022 20:32

No, sad but true

SerenaB12 · 05/10/2022 20:32

FUCK NO!!

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 05/10/2022 20:34

Yes. He’s wonderful. Coming up on 15 years now.

PlainJaneSuperbrainthe2nd · 05/10/2022 20:35

Yes definitely. We've only been married 8 years though (together 10) so I guess it's early days!

RaraRachael · 05/10/2022 20:35

Absolutely not. I escaped after 25 years of doing absolutely everything while he went to work, cam home, ate the dinner I'd made and fell asleep in a chair. Weekends were spent doing his hobbies while I did the cleaning.

I have 2 lovely kids though.

SeraphinaDombegh · 05/10/2022 20:35

Definitely wouldn't swap mine. He's flipping marvellous.

mistermagpie · 05/10/2022 20:36

100%

riotlady · 05/10/2022 20:36

absolutely, he’s my best friend :)

TheLoupGarou · 05/10/2022 20:36

Yes definitely ☺️

definitelynotlistening · 05/10/2022 20:37

The reason I married him was to have a family so shortly after wedding we had kids. It's been busy. So I can't get my head around the 'kids aside'. Kids aside I would probably prefer to be single, but all I wver wanted was kids.

DashboardConfessional · 05/10/2022 20:37

Yes. We are 18 years in and best friends.

thistimelastweek · 05/10/2022 20:37

It's a hard one.

He's the perfect partner for a woman of my years.

He wasn't the perfect partner for the young me.

I honestly don't know .

elp30 · 05/10/2022 20:39

My first one, definitely not!
We have a son together and we are grandparents to three grandchildren. The more time I spend with him, the more grateful I am that we are not married!

My second and current--absolutely! We're doing great on 26.5 years 🙂

LadyLothbrook · 05/10/2022 20:39

ThatshallotBaby · 05/10/2022 20:12

A soft no. I just wouldn’t. He is a lovely person, but god it’s been too much like hard work. 3 dc married 17 years.

This for me too. I like him but I have pmdd and he has adhd...both discovered post marriage. It's a lethal combo for sure and exhausting beyond belief.

NewYorkLassie · 05/10/2022 20:39

ncncncnc123 · 05/10/2022 20:30

Those of you who are saying no but are staying put, are you happy anyway? How do you make peace with having chosen the wrong person?

We have a decent life and two wonderful children. He’s hard working and a great, hands on Dad. He’s kind and treats me well. I know he still fancies me. Could he do more around the house and take on more of the mental load? Absolutely. But a quick read through MN makes me realise I am lucky.

What it really comes down to is I can’t stand the thought of the heartache it would cause. For him, the kids, our families. All the upheaval. My life is good. Would feel selfish for leaving just because the spark has gone for me.

Nellsbells173 · 05/10/2022 20:39

No I wouldn’t.
It’s just something of convenience now.

PaperPalace · 05/10/2022 20:39

Yes! He's lovely. We've been together for 25 years now.

eyeteevee · 05/10/2022 20:42

Yep. I landed very lucky when I met him.

Catslovepies · 05/10/2022 20:45

Yes though I wouldn't have married him any earlier than I did (age 37) as I'm glad I focused on my career including international moves first. What I wouldn't have done is get all hung up on the men I met before him who I thought I loved but who weren't "the one." I wish I could go back and save myself a lot of heartache! I'd still allow the past me to use the talented ones for sex, though 😁.

Nolemonade · 05/10/2022 20:45

Nope.

Elmo230885 · 05/10/2022 20:52

100% yes. The only regret I have is that we didn't meet a little sooner in life so we had more time just the two of us.