For blocking the guy I’m seeing because he didn’t show up to my party?

[allura]

The guy I’m seeing is part of the same friendship group as me, I’ve known him for nearly 2 years, we all met in uni (we were all “mature” students in our late 20s at the time)

I got a promotion and will be moving to a new city (literally the next one over from us right now) so my friends threw me a “good luck” party. This was discussed in the friendship group maybe 2 months before it happened.

I have been seeing Jamie (not real name) for a year, we’ve discussed continuing our relationship/situationship when I move away as it’s only slightly further away.

He has shift work so I asked him a month in advance if he was coming, he said he’d change his shift and definitely be there. We spoke about it up until the day before. He dropped me back home after me staying at his and said “see you tomorrow”.

the next day he didn’t get in touch as normal, but I didn’t think too much of it. I eventually rang him at 3pm to ask what his plans were. He didn’t answer and just text me saying “just text me I’m helping a friend decorate his new flat”. So I just text asking what time he was getting to mine so we could arrive at the party together. He didn’t get back to until 5pm saying he was dropping off his friend at his girlfriends and needed to get a shower, drop something at his sisters etc…

wed had this planned for months that he would arrive at mine at 5, we’d have some drinks together and then go to the party at 7.

at 6 he text me saying can he bring his friend because his girlfriend had cancelled. I said no - this was a gathering of like 7 uni friends! I think I was a bit unreasonable about that, but it felt so childish he needed a friend there, when I was there? Like he was nervous? He said he couldn’t stay at my place after because he needed to drop his friend off to his flat.

anyway, he never got back to me, so I went to the gathering on my own. All my friend were asking where he was and told me he was an idiot and that it was hurtful.

When I’d had too much to drink I just text him saying it was hurtful he didn’t come. He text back “I thought it might be awkward if I just turned up”

I was so hurt I just blocked him.

I move next week and still haven’t spoken to him at all.

was I unreasonable??

[Cherchezlaspice]

@mysteryobtuse

Statement then, but okay.

Why are you being so unpleasant to someone who just answered your question, without any snark? Did you not want an answer?

[WomanStanleyWoman2]

You also normally invite another person to an intimate dinner party (7 people) and tell the hosts an hour before it's due to start? You don't think restaurants need notice for a last minute addition to a set table? Or if it's a house dinner party, the hosts needs to know to set another meal? Bf didn't even tell the people organising the party and left no time for anyone including the restaurant to adjust.

To be fair, as much as it annoys me when people don’t read all the OP’s posts, the OP didn’t give this information until several pages in. She described it as a ‘good luck party’ and most of the responses about the not-quite-boyfriend bringing his mate were based on that description. People arriving as and when and extending the invitation to a mate seem fairly standard for a party, and the OP insisting that she and NQB arrive together and that there are no extra guests sounds a bit much. Once it’s clear it was actually a sit-down meal in a restaurant, the OP seems much more reasonable to want NQB to arrive on time sans mate.

[Lalalolol]

@SoggyChipswithVinegar

But he wasnt your boyfriend?
He was a guy you were seeing casually in a situationship (whatever that is)

All the more reason for Op to not give him chances to bullshit explain. Well done OP for wanting better. It's very unkind of posters to judge Op so harshly.