Be honest! Has anyone ever set out to marry a rich man and/or encouraged their daughters to do it?

[WitTanks]

I was wondering as it seems to be the case with lots on Instagram influencers, as well as some women I know locally, that lots of women come from a low income working class background, have not had a career themselves and have just seemingly set out to marry a rich city type or business owner.

One woman that I know, who has three twentysomething daughters, has encouraged all three to marry rich men; two have done so, and married wealthy men far older than they are, and the third is still single but works in healthcare and has said she is 'trying to find a consultant' to be with.

Has anyone on here done this or do you encourage your daughters to marry someone wealthy?

I don't think I know anyone who deliberately set out to get "rich" through marriage, but I know plenty who wouldn't consider someone who wasn't financially secure. Maybe that's just sensible?

My DH didn't have any money, but I did insist his debts were paid off before we go married and manage all the money thereafter so he didn't take more

I do know someone who's DH is very rich & she is quite deferential to him, restricts eating, plays the homemaker etc. I think it must be exhausting to live like that.

Raddix - I'm sure you didn't only marry your husband for money only though. You must have been attracted to him for other reasons, otherwise that would be a living hell!

There's a big difference between happening to meet someone who goes on to do well for himself, and deliberately targeting millionaires or whatever, even if you can't bear to look at them!

I have a friend who groomed her daughters to marry money.
She would go to any lengths to encourage the right relationships.
One daughter is happily married and also earns a substantial amount herself, the other is more of a WAG, she puts everything on Instagram!
It’s obscene.
I think she’s a bit miffed that our daughter and partner started out with very little and have overtaken both of them.

@thesway

Have you read any of the accounts from the play boy 'bunnies' ?

What do you think sex workers do?

the third is still single but works in healthcare and has said she is 'trying to find a consultant' to be with.

Tbh by consultant level they are usually married. The way to do it is to find a ambitious registrar.

I've done some divorces and child support cases in my previous life as a solicitor and marrying a rich man is a risky business plan. There are not that many billionaires around, so most of those coveted 'rich men' who would be able to provide a comfortable lifestyle to a SAHM/low earner wife are just reasonably well earning without any significant assets. Works generally fine while married (unless financially abusive), but they can just decide to stop. Spousal support in case of a simple high earner is rare and many, many men will do all they can to pay minimum child support possible. Yes you might have a nice (mortgaged) house and a car each, but this will not keep you in the lifestyle you're accustomed to, if the husband decides he not so interested in supporting you any more.

I know quite a few people who did this - mostly girls I went to university with. They never said it out loud that marrying someone rich was their aim - but it was obvious from the people they chose to date. They generally went for guys who had family money or had been to top public schools.

It wasn’t about not wanting to work themselves - most went on to high paid jobs in law or the City themselves - though a few did give up their jobs after they had kids.
I remember one friend really liking a guy but refusing to take it further and going out with someone else instead (who she didn’t seem to like as much but who had been to Eton). Naively I couldn’t understand it at the time but I do now 😂

Topgub - Yes but are we talking about Playboy bunnies?

How do you even know if the man's rich? IME many of the people with the most extravagant lifestyles do it all on borrowed money and even for some high earners it will never be enough and is all spent.

Topgub - I thought we were talking personal experiences - "have you ever set out to marry a rich man" and "would you advise your daughter ..,"

I think very very few women would marry a man solely for money. There must be some level of attraction as well.

Sex workers are not marrying their clients though. This thread is about "would you marry for money or advise your daughter to marry for money.?"

What does being a SAHM have to do with it?

@thesway

They are still having sex with no attraction. Which you said wasn't a thing

And being a sahm has quite a lot to do with it if you read the replies.

It also suggests men are willing to pay for it.

Women less likely to pay for it.

That alters the power dynamics.

So SAHM are onto something.

What annoys me about this thread is that there is currently these two hideous brothers on YouTube (their surname is Tate - but please don't do a search as this precisely what they want). Basically, they have built a worldwide following of millions by essentially saying - "Women just want money. You can have six women at a time, just throw money at them and buy them the odd handbag. That's all women are biologically programmed for."
Thread titles like this play right into what these men would like to think.
The loudest most obnoxious one looks like a potato, yet claims he can shag any female that walks and get her to put up with him sleeping around, just because he has millions (or claims to have).
Whereas, the truth is, most women wouldn't go near him with a bargepole.
He thinks they women in general are secretly, "like Russian women." In other words, he once met some women in certain Moscow nightclubs who would hang around oligarchs. Now he would like to extrapolate that as a "biological truth about all women."

If course prostitutes are having sex with no attraction! But the thread is not about prostitution fgs.

"It also suggests men are willing to pay for it.

Women less likely to pay for it.

That alters the power dynamics.

So SAHM are onto something."

What does this mean? I hope you're not comparing being a SAHM to prostitution?

Marrying a man or staying with a man for money is nothing like sex work.

Sex workers are honest and upfront about what they are doing.

Thinking about this I probably know nearly as many men who look to marry wealthy women as women who look for wealthy men.

A friend married a woman with family money, neither of them need to work, lovely house, kids at private school and he’s able to pursue his hobby of writing novels without worrying about needing an income from it. Not saying there wasn’t attraction there but he was definitely on the lookout for someone with money. So it’s not just women who do this!
Also got a family member whose wife is in a highly paid role. He doesn’t work but has lots of time consuming hobbies. They don’t have kids either so his time really is his own. He definitely targeted her but they both seem happy with the situation.
This clearly doesn’t extend to sex workers as they are mainly female. But basically money is attractive to both sexes!

I didn't set out to marry a rich man but I do value a man with financial stability and a good work ethic. MN wouldn't consider him high salaried, but we live in a lower cost part of the country and we are comfortable.

I currently earn more than him but only just, sometimes he has earned more than me.

If we had daughters I wouldn't encourage them to marry a rich man, I would encourage them to be financially independent (as my mother did with me) but I would also encourage them to try to avoid the sort of men who become cocklodgers.

And I also think there is a comfortable middle ground. Often the very well paid men are very career driven and not necessarily the best partners. So along with someone with a good work ethic I want someone with a reasonable work life balance. My DH doesn't always have that down but he's reasonable at it.

@Owlsinmybedroom

Would you advise your sons to avoid a woman who 'cocklodges' ?

What's the female equivalent?

A fannylodger?

Basically this.

That said though, I don't think I would have chosen to set up home with someone with no job at all. Not because of the money, but someone lazy and unwilling to work, or with completely unrealistic "career" ambitions would not have been my cup of tea.

Raddix - I'm sure you didn't only marry your husband for money only though. You must have been attracted to him for other reasons, otherwise that would be a living hell!
My husband is a lovely person. Reliable, respectable, honest, hard working, intelligent, talented, funny. But he’s not good looking at all. If I had more money myself I wouldn’t have married him.

As I said, I’m happy with my decision because it saved me and our kids from the poverty stricken lifestyle I had growing up. I don’t have to watch them suffering like I suffered, and for that reason I won’t leave. But as time goes on I just wish I could shag someone good looking who actually makes me actually feel something.

Yes absolutely but the question was about daughters