Be honest! Has anyone ever set out to marry a rich man and/or encouraged their daughters to do it?

[WitTanks]

I was wondering as it seems to be the case with lots on Instagram influencers, as well as some women I know locally, that lots of women come from a low income working class background, have not had a career themselves and have just seemingly set out to marry a rich city type or business owner.

One woman that I know, who has three twentysomething daughters, has encouraged all three to marry rich men; two have done so, and married wealthy men far older than they are, and the third is still single but works in healthcare and has said she is 'trying to find a consultant' to be with.

Has anyone on here done this or do you encourage your daughters to marry someone wealthy?

I would certainly advise my sons to avoid women who are only/mainly interested in their money.

You're too funny 😁.

This is not why I send my daughter, but I'd hope after all that goes into it, she doesn't marry a pauper or a man that lacks ambition and drive. God forbid!

Ideally, she'll marry a man that is solvent, earns well and with whom she can provide a very comfortable life for any children they may have.

I know quite a few women whose main criteria for dating was whether the main could support her in comfort as an sahm if they married.

“What is marriage but prostitution to one man instead of many?” Is a question posed by Angela Carter

Appears her argument is that it’s a trade off and there is a legal contract involved. Marriage was once traditionally for business deals and alliances between families.

Surprisingly, it has been discussed by feminists…

‘Marriage is a form of prostitution’

No
I set out to earn my own money

I am financially independent

Not in a million years would I encourage my daughter OR my son to marry someone wealthy for the money. I’d rather they were financial independent and find partners who they have a more equal lifestyle with.

That is awful.

But that is a different argument to marriage. He’s not talking about marrying.

Women looking to marry for any form of security won’t be going to him. He’s offering short term fixes (and that preys on vulnerability)

That comes to another point… marrying a man who would make a good parent. He wouldn’t make a good parent at all. I’d dread to think what he’d be like if he had a dd.

It is true though that rich old men do seem to be able to "get" beautiful young women who would be completely out of their reach without the money.

There must be something in it.

Someone asked Melania Trump whether she would have married him if he wasn't wealthy.

She replied 'would he have married me if I was not beautiful?'

Isn’t there a supply and demand issue going on there?

Not many billionaires like Trump.

But lots of beautiful women like Melania. How does she stand out from the crowd of gorgeous women to be able to lock him into a marriage deal?

Same with Wendy Deng and Rupert Murdoch.

And Murdoch divorced her when he discovered she fancied Tony Blair (not sure if adultery was ever confirmed).

Nope, I don't even know rich people. I know well off ones, but it was achieved through hard work as they aren't from wealthy families. I married for love and for brain which gave my husband high earning potential. TBF I wouldn't marry just for love to be poor and happy. I don't need yacht and helicopter, but some kind of stability. We're both from working class families, no inheritance coming our way, we can only count on ourselves.

The women in my family all married 'down'. It ruined their lives!

I tell my DD to marry equal or up (but not so up that there's a huge power imbalance).

There's no prize in heaven for spending your life supporting a cocklodger.

I don’t really think a “gold diggers” like you are describing is “strong or smart”. Business like maybe in that she is happy to have a solely financial relationship and not care about her significant other at all. I don’t admire that though. That’s not something I would want to be or want dds to be.

True that.
There are plenty married or living with broke, cocklodgers who are miserable and financially dependant.

Interesting question. I did marry a man who has ended up pretty wealthy (500k pa+) but he wasn't on anything like that when we met.

Did I set out to marry a man with money? No
Was it likely I would? Probably. I was privately educated, went to two Russell group unis and when I met my husband, I was working for a large consulting firm. I didn't really spend time with anyone who wasn't likely going to do quite well in the scheme of things... Not by design, but that's just how my life was when I met DH.

Was I attracted to his intelligence, ambition and drive? Of course I was. But nowhere near as much as I was to his kindness, decency and optimism.

I have had a good, though less successful (due to the limitations of children and a fundamental disinterest in climbing the greasy pole) career. By most metrics I am successful in my own right, but compared to his my earnings feel broadly insignificant, which feels very liberating. I could pay the bills and mortgage if the shit hit the fan tomorrow but no one depends on my salary. For me, this is ideal and gives me agency.

We have a daughter and it has always been really important to me for her to know that Mummy's career is important too, even though she's not a big swinging dick like Daddy (not in exactly these words). I always encourage my children to work hard and make the most of every opportunity. They know they are fortunate to enjoy the lifestyle they do (though we haven't gone down the private school route) and they understand that we both work hard to provide that. They also understand why I still work even though I don't have to and a lot of the time it would be easier for all of us if I didn't. I want my daughter to be equipped to make the right choices for herself and her family in the future and what those are will be up to her. Sometimes I feel really selfish for pursuing a career when I could be at home more and make everyone's life easier and simpler, but I'm not ready to do that yet and maybe I never will be.

So, in short, the money is lovely but it doesn't give you all the answers and I'm probably fucking it all up as well as anyone else 😄

Mrs Bennett?!

Not me, but I know someone who 'married well'. Three times.

Really not.

Always seek out a partner and an equal.

I wouldn't like to be married to someone wildly better off than me. Neither would I like to be picking up the tab for a cocklodger

My daughter dumped a boy with very wealthy parents who she met at university because he turned out to be jealous and controlling-she came to the conclusion she didn’t actually like him. I’ve always advised her to marry someone she likes and respects because if you don’t, when you go through storms, they’re far harder to weather without that. She make no secret she wants to marry someone who’s well educated and ambitious-as she is. But if she doesn’t meet the right man, she’ll do fine by herself. Am so glad she has those options rather than having to marry for money.

Yes. It’s as old as time.

I know people who have married well . Yes they do love them but would not have looked twice at them if they were earning minimum wage .