Be honest! Has anyone ever set out to marry a rich man and/or encouraged their daughters to do it?

[WitTanks]

I was wondering as it seems to be the case with lots on Instagram influencers, as well as some women I know locally, that lots of women come from a low income working class background, have not had a career themselves and have just seemingly set out to marry a rich city type or business owner.

One woman that I know, who has three twentysomething daughters, has encouraged all three to marry rich men; two have done so, and married wealthy men far older than they are, and the third is still single but works in healthcare and has said she is 'trying to find a consultant' to be with.

Has anyone on here done this or do you encourage your daughters to marry someone wealthy?

@Madamecastafiore

More fool them

Yeh, stupid them supporting the men they love and then getting to enjoy the wealth together. Idiots

It largely depends on the definition of rich. Probably not many marrying minor royals and the like! However, I do know a number who married ‘up’ if you like - married doctors or businessmen or men who were from quite poor backgrounds themselves but ended up owning a successful business.

@Isaidnono

Yeah I'm sure it's as common as them making it themselves.

I know which one I'd be advocating

As depressing as this is, my mother spent my entire life telling me to marry rich and focussing on what a man could offer me. Even as a young child she talking about marrying a man who could afford diamonds, never to marry poor, only date men with their own home etc. I think it was partly because we were deathly poor and she wanted better but also, so she could show off. She did it in lots of subtle ways. I found the whole thing really suffocating and as a result never told her who I was dating, never let her meet my boyfriends. When deadly unhappy with a very wealthy guy at university she consistently encouraged me to stick it out because when he married me I’d get half of his families money. She was more upset about what I was giving up when I ended it than any of his behaviour. Honestly it had a hugely negative impact on our relationship and we barely speak this days (granted for lots of other reasons too). Please do not encourage this with your children.

@RIPQueen

If your oh requires you to give up your career to 'support' them, then yeah. I do think, 'idiot' but we're all different eh?

Agree. I know someone with two daughters, one got into grammar and the other who failed the 11+ is going private so she can network and meet someone suitable .....shes 10.

No, but I would encourage my DD to consider how any future partner behaves with money having spent many years financially mismatched. Struggling to pay bills while her DF swanned around spending his wages as fast as he possibly could.
Of course I managed and still do but by god do I wish we could've saved and traveled occasionally and given our DCs experiences when they were young rather than him buying rounds in the pub.

Some can’t though, @Topgub . That’s what I’m trying to say. Some people keep saying ‘no, I’d rather get my DD to earn her own money,’ which is fair enough but in the majority of cases just isn’t going to happen.

So if your husband could earn 500k and your career trajectory was 50k you wouldn’t sacrifice your own earnings for the benefit of yours, given that it’s for a joint household income and would benefit children etc?

But she was a millionaire commoner’s daughter who married into royalty.

I do actually remember those terms being used. ‘Millionaire commoner daughter marries Prince’

Never have I even given a minute's thought to doing that, and if I had daughters I would be encouraging them to choose a partner they truly loved, whatever their financial status. Money is way down the list of priorities in my life.

@Isaidnono

And neither will meeting a rich man.

Most poor people, men and women, stay poor.

So, if we're giving advice on how to improve social and economic mobility, education is the key.

I would encourage them to marry a man who is kind, energetic and has potential.

Many people won’t be getting a top job regardless of education. I wouldn’t, I’m not clever enough!

You dont need a top job not to be poor.

But the thread is about being rich

This is actually true - my friend from a council estate went on to become head of finance for a large company. Her brother was head of IT at another.

Don't make assumptions.

Lol…this reminds of mom who used to joke that it’s just as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor man so if you have to pick go for the rich one.

She was usually joking. She did make sure to stress financial independence and many times told me under no circumstances depend on a man.

I also had a friend growing up who’s grandfather and mother highly encouraged her to marry rich. In the end she found a good man who probably makes more than her, but she’s holding her own.

So one girl did it so any girl can 🤣🤣🤣

It's not making assumptions because statistically what you have described is unusual

If I could re-do my youth. I would tell myself to have given the boys from nice families a chance, those not typically seen as “cool” but who were focused and getting places in life.

I wasted my youth chasing after losers basically. And I think if I did know better I should have judged the boys more for their family background and future prospects.

I didn’t, I went for lowlifes that I thought were exciting. So I don’t think it’s being a gold digger, but going for someone serious, who can provide you with stability and make sure your kids have a nice upbringing with more privileges isn’t a bad thing IMO. It’s actually smart.

Before anyone says anything I would also encourage myself (if I could go back) or any daughters to be successful in their own right and get themselves in places where the likelihood of meeting successful men is more likely… at their uni or work somewhere where successful men frequent.

Looking back now, you can be smart about these things.

A girl from the council estate can position herself to meet men in those industries and work closely with them in supporting roles like PAs, legal secretaries, administrative roles etc.

ICT is male dominated so it is easier meet guys. All it needs to be is a role as a technician or assistant of some sort.

I know that wake - why do you think I’m saying otherwise?

Sorry I misinterpreted your point. I thought you were saying that a girl from a council estate couldn’t mix in circles to meet guys in those professions. I was say she can… if she’s smart enough to position herself in the right industry.