Be honest! Has anyone ever set out to marry a rich man and/or encouraged their daughters to do it?

[WitTanks]

I was wondering as it seems to be the case with lots on Instagram influencers, as well as some women I know locally, that lots of women come from a low income working class background, have not had a career themselves and have just seemingly set out to marry a rich city type or business owner.

One woman that I know, who has three twentysomething daughters, has encouraged all three to marry rich men; two have done so, and married wealthy men far older than they are, and the third is still single but works in healthcare and has said she is 'trying to find a consultant' to be with.

Has anyone on here done this or do you encourage your daughters to marry someone wealthy?

My step daughter seems to think she’s going to marry a rich man and never work (she’s never done a days work in her life-she’s 19)
she’s in for a shock

i know someone who did marry (and have kids) a rich man
shes miserable as sin,he’s a boring sod and tight as hell so her vision of spending his money has gone down the pan
shes skint and unhappy but stays with him for what money he does let her have

i work with a bloke who didn’t come from money,but has 2 jobs and a string of houses and investments-he’s minted
a lovely bloke-really sweet,non flashy and to talk to him,you wouldn’t know he was rich (on paper not notes in his wallet)
he’s also single-he has dated but as soon as they find out how rich is is on paper,he says their eyes light up with £ signs
it’s a shame as he is lovely but sheer greed takes over with some ladies

Of course they can @WakeUpAndBe . What I’m saying is that all these posts insisting that all you have to do is work hard at school and you can have a glittering career are naive.

I ain't sayin she a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke...

It’s a balance. There’s stuff competition. Getting a guy with potential to commit to marriage is not easy.

I had a friend who tried hard but got nowhere.

@Isaidnono ^stiff competition

Going after the rich guy isn’t an original idea.

So having a backup career plan if it fails helps too.

An independent woman is attractive.

Lady Lucas, is that you? 😀

Yeah. It’s not a fool proof plan because it’s not original.

I envy the women who have pulled it off.

No. I prefer to be self-sufficient and earn my own income.

It's really not.

My mum wanted this for me, but she didn't express it very well. Just came across as snooty / unpleasant.

Subsequently I didn't listen and it just didn't ever enter my mind.

Went to uni and have done ok for myself. Husband of 4 years did not go to uni, has also done ok for himself but works very hard for it (hard graft and long hours). I earn more than him.

We have a decent lifestyle but it is a bit tight.

In hindsight I do sometimes wonder if I should have been a bit more pragmatic and thought about things like this...although actually setting out to marry for money is probably a bit too far.

I think this is what I was trying to say above. @sausagepastapot has put it better than I have.

A colleague told me that her mum told her she could fall in love with a rich man as easily as a poor man.
She did marry a rich man but he was a bit of a tit. No idea whether she considered it a good deal.

Twenty years ago, I worked with two women. Both had married much older men when they were in their twenties. It gave them the opportunity to get onto the property ladder early and they enjoyed better holidays and drove newer cars than they could have afforded by themselves.
After fifteen or twenty years of marriage, each had divorced and then reversed the process, marrying men ten years younger than themselves who they could easily dominate.
It made me wonder if there is a conveyor belt of younger partners trading their youth for financial comfort?

I schooled my son in avoiding such women. His partner is his financial equal

@Isaidnono

But its an odds game. Two scenarios:

1. You get an OK education (not stellar maybe but enough to get you into university or an apprenticeship) and get a job with career advancement, you have a decent chance of being able to support yourself. You may also then meet a man on a similar or higher income and you'll be doing well as a family which is a bonus. We're not talking rich, maybe not even affluent, but doing well enough to not be desperately poor, keep a roof over your heads, feed your family and save. You know you've earned part of that money and have some pride in this.
2. You try to "land" a super-wealthy man. The odds of marrying a super-wealthy man are far slimmer than your odds of just getting a half decent job. Once you've landed said rich man you're trapped in a gilded cage and quite lightly to be dumped when his head gets turned. You spend your life looking over your shoulder, worrying if you look young enough, who he's hanging out with after work, should you get some work done etc.

Scenario 1 is not wildly out of reach for people even from very poor backgrounds. It may be harder and require more application. But its feasible.

Scenario 2 is Russian Roulette even if you're fairly wealthy yourself. Let alone if you're from an impoverished background and don't know the rules of the society you're moving in. And even if you get through the hallowed portals of being married to a rich arsehole man, there's a very high chance it won't end well for you.

Which of those scenarios would you push your daughter to take? It wouldn't be 2 for me.

I know two women who did. One has loads of affairs on the side to compensate- her words. The other is married to a tight fisted control freak.
Better to build your wealth together if possible imo. Me and DH have both contributed fairly equally to our pot. We're now able to early retire with our own pensions, plus shared savings and investments.

It is quite out of reach for quite a few, tbh. I mean, I am not disagreeing. Ideally, yes, everyone should be able to support themselves but realistically that’s not always possible.

I have a decent education and an OK job but I’d struggle on my own.

I was raised to be independent. But then I met a man who owned his home outright and thought that sounds a lot easier 😂

You’re not the only mum doing that. There was an article about a mum who advised her son to be friends with the girl getting good grades in maths because in later life she’ll be the one with a nice car, fashionable clothes and prospects.

Sure, but it’s got to be a better and more practical approach than basically aiming to be a high class courtesan and breeder?

I am a hopeless gold digger. I was asked out in my twenties by the son of one of England’s most aristocratic wealthy families but turned him down for Dh (state school educated dad a manual worker mum a secretary ). Still no regrets whatsoever!

My brother is a high earner.
SIL met him at uni.
They have one child.
She has never had a proper job.
She does "alternative" stuff like reiki, but can't make much money from it. She exercises lots. And gardens.
Nice work if you can get it 🤷‍♀️

Sound alike she’s happy and healthy. Good for her.

Interesting thread.

Most are saying it all depends what makes your DD happy but it’s really difficult not to project. I never gave two hoots about the financial prosperity of boyfriends or my DH and in turn I will not care about this for my DD.

Those saying security /prospects are important are probably projecting too.