Be honest! Has anyone ever set out to marry a rich man and/or encouraged their daughters to do it?

[WitTanks]

I was wondering as it seems to be the case with lots on Instagram influencers, as well as some women I know locally, that lots of women come from a low income working class background, have not had a career themselves and have just seemingly set out to marry a rich city type or business owner.

One woman that I know, who has three twentysomething daughters, has encouraged all three to marry rich men; two have done so, and married wealthy men far older than they are, and the third is still single but works in healthcare and has said she is 'trying to find a consultant' to be with.

Has anyone on here done this or do you encourage your daughters to marry someone wealthy?

Yes, I'm sure she is!
@WakeUpAndBe
I think my brother thought it would be more of a partnership when they got married.

I have always prioritised my own financial independence, all I care about in a man from a financial perspective is that he has the same work ethic as me - I couldn’t put up with a cocklodger but don’t care whether he works hard as a bin man or an accountant.

That said, I’ve rarely if ever come across a “professional” man I find attractive - perhaps in part due to the way many of them talk about their wives (who are often SAHM or work part time).

I will encourage my daughters to make their own way in the world & marry a man/woman who will treat them well.

No because I’m quite capable of standing on my own 2 feet and the only thing I would teach my daughter is to make sure she is completely independent financially from any men or partner .
But I see where you can come as I live in a similar area where women are just ladies of leisure all day and never work . Instead their husbands travel most of the year and teve marriage seem somehow … not what I would call a real marriage but hey 🤷🏻‍♀️each to their own I guess

As a woman who always worked and earned more than my husband and married for love I'd tell my daughters never make my mistake and marry someone wealthier than them or of similar income raising capabilities. Otherwise their husband will end up cheating on them and run away with the OW and live off their half of family assets they didn't earn. Until family law in this country favours the weaker party in a divorce and discounts what each side brought to a relationship, marrying someone who earns a lot less or of lower earning abilities is too much of a risk.

Ew. My first boyfriend had money, and his parents were loaded. He wanted to marry me. I didn't love him so I left. Been with someone I do love for 12 years now, wouldn't swap it for money. I really can't imagine being with someone just for money.

I'm hoping DD will find a man who will be supportive of her career and achievements. That's way more important to me than him being rich/successful.

No but i have cousins, 6 in one family, every single one married to people in high earning professions. They werent from a monied background themseves. I always think it was fairly deliberate as surely statistically at least one of them would have married somebody in an ordinary job.

I’m sorry that happened to you.

The way forwards is pre-nuptial agreements.

@SlipperyLizard ”That said, I’ve rarely if ever come across a “professional” man I find attractive - perhaps in part due to the way many of them talk about their wives (who are often SAHM or work part time).”

How do they talk about their wives?!

Curious…

To earn well for themselves only because they may not want or be able to have children? What if they do and can but don't want to be a sahm like you? Presumably you'd support that its just your post made it sound like the expectation would be that they stay at home which seems odd these days unless by choice

A young lady at my work who joined as an apprentice would say often her 55 year old mum always kept saying she needs to get a man ‘who can look after her’. She definitely had the looks to do that and would have no problem finding a guy with family money or a decent career in late 20s early 30s looking for a pretty younger wife to settle down with.

I set out to meet someone who didn’t earn substantially less than I did. I knew my income would hit 6 figures by my late 30s, so I was looking for someone on a par. I didn’t want left in a situation whereby I had to work FT after children to maintain our lifestyle. Most of my female colleagues are the main income source, and lots of them are pretty screwed.

Marry for money, you’ll earn every penny.

I married a man who later earned a lot of money. I also have a decent Income myself. It’s been good in terms of giving us greater flexibility re things like childcare and retirement plans but I definitely wouldn’t have married him
just for being rich.

I wouldn’t encourage DD to marry a rich man but I would discourage her from marrying a wastrel.

I agree with this.

If there is a big income disparity don't get married because it's too much of a risk.

100% this

I had a friend at school who was determined to marry a rich man. we lost contact for a few years then met up again in our late twenties. I was a single mum of two by then, she was desperately unhappy in her marriage. We never met up again or contacted each other- she openly said her husband would not approve of me as a friend for her, and that she was jealous of my freedom from my ex. Our lives were too different. I often wonder if she stayed with him in the end for the money and lifestyle or if she eventually left him.

I can't say clear no, but my motivation was different.
Studying a generally well paying field when at uni, it seemed easier to get myself a partner with similar earning potential than verifying that a candidate would be long term ok with being the less earning party in our household.

My partner is both, which allowed him to go back for phd and transfer to a great specialization.

😔

Reminds me of the TikTok I saw earlier.

"If I walked in on my billionaire husband cheating..."

Lady with many LV shopping bags walks in, immediately puts her sunglasses on and walks back out and pretends she didn't see a thing.

I don’t have a daughter but if I did it would very much depend on their personality and what they want out of life.

Just looked that up.

Marriages of convenience.

Except… you’d worry about being replaced by the other woman. Surely she sees him for money too? What if OW gets pregnant?

You have to be a strong, smart and business like woman to do that. I do envy it.

I would love to have married someone I could rely on as a provider and just spent all my time being a mummy and soaking in my babies.

Pure fantasy, imagine the comfort of knowing you and your children are looked after.

I know have the opposite.

a girl I worked with married a man 20+ years older, her life looks pretty fabulous. Lots of holidays but she depends on him totally financially.

But she certainly isn’t going without, but I can imagine how scary it is wanting to be perfect and not putting a foot wrong so your world doesn’t come tumbling down.

I think the happiest women these days are independently rich and single.

And other women will be looking at what she has and wanting it too. He’s the one with buying power in that relationship, leaving her vulnerable.

You’re right. Independently rich women are better off and happier.

I feel like everything is so stressful for us ladies.

Most women I know say life became easier once they got rid of their partners. Usually not pulling their weight at home.

Women always finishing their 9-5’s coming home to their second shift.

If I depended on a man totally financially I would even be terrified to have an argument or pushing the wrong buttons. Especially when you literally are a total dependent.

Unless he’s rich enough to endured you have a secure future too and independent can survive if you have to. What are you doing?

a lot of men want this level of control over a woman. Because he knows exactly where he’s got you.