To be disgusted by friends salary?

[Emeraldi]

I’ve spent the past week staying at a good friends dog-sitting whilst her and her partner are away on holiday. I mistakenly stumbled across an offer letter for her current job in a drawer whilst I was looking for something else, which set out her salary package. I wish I hadn’t, as I was absolutely shocked to see that she is earning very close to 6 figures and I can’t get it off my mind.

I had no idea she was earning a salary like this, we are both just under 30, she never went to uni whereas I did and I’m not even earning half of her salary and up to my eyeballs in student debt. Naturally I thought I was the higher earner of the two and have always been generous to help her out, such as cheap dog sitting when she’s away, buying her a drink when we’ve gone out etc.

She’s always been very money conscious so I had no reason to believe otherwise. This time she’s even left me a list of “house rules” during my stay about turning off all electrical items at the mains after use and keeping the heating at a set level to reduce heating costs.

It’s clear that she’s been using me to dog sit as she is no doubt paying me far less than she would pay for boarding at a kennels and I think of all the other times I’ve let her off financially for things in the past, like rounds of drinks or when I’ve brought dinner round. AIBU to feel used and to want to get my money back? Not sure how best to approach this. TIA

You just sound jealous. And a uni degree really means very little. My sister went to uni and I didn't. We ended up working in the same company with me on a higher salary. It's really odd to assume those who have a degree have better jobs 🙄

How odd that you would assume a uni degree = higher salary. Unless you are doing a specific degree to be able to do a specific job such as a doctor this is unlikely to be the case. I must say i assumed that everyone knew that was the case these days given that literally anyone can go to Uni, not just high achievers. Perhaps your lack of worldly knowledge and judgemental attitude is why you're the lower earner.

Cool story bro

Lack of university education? I never went to university and earn close to six figures. My friends all did and earn much less. None of us care. You however sound extremely jealous and entitled. Does a university education make you better than someone who 'lacks' one? Your friend would be better off without you. Not shining a good light on yourself.

Yep Uni is a big big money creator . A whole market has been created around student's. No point having a degree if you have no drive or charisma and can't think outside the box . Who you know can get you places that's why schools such as Eton exist .

“I mistakenly stumbled across an offer letter for her current job in a drawer whilst I was looking for something else, which set out her salary package.”

…and mistakenly read it as well. I can see how you might have difficulty “approaching her” about this! It’s none of your business what she earns. You decided to go to university, she didn’t make the same choice. If you want to raise your fees for dog-sitting, that’s up to you, but it does seem to be a touch of envy. Perhaps she thought you were paid more (as you are a graduate)? Surely a friendship is worth more than a difference in salary?

You may have done a lot for her, but it sounds like that was due to your wrong assumptions about her rather than because she asked you to. Unless she was pleading poverty, I'm not really sure you can be annoyed about the fact that you assumed she was worse off than you because you have a degree....

It's really odd to assume those who have a degree have better jobs 🙄

It's not odd, because that's how the government sells it. The papers are full of comparisons between the lifetime earnings of those who go to university vs those who don't around UCAS application time. It's what I was told at school.

But anyone who has reached the age of 35+ knows it isn't true.

And I say that as a graduate

I disagree. It formed part of the discussions about Uni me and my friends had in 1999/2000. I decided not go, because I had no clue what I wanted to do long term. Friends who went were the one who needed a degree for their chosen career.

I remember working in a hotel when I was 17, and the Uni graduates of the fast track management programme were fairly useless. They had a degree but no experience. It wasn’t a shock to anyone and was accepted. Those in the fast track programme wouldn’t be much help and most dropped out.

it’s been well known for years that in real life degrees do not guarantee success. I can’t believe anyone gets to 35 and believes an degree is an automatic fast pass to success and 6 figure salaries. Dd started at university this year, the university certainly didn’t push that pov either.

There is more than one way to skin a cat however in the majority of cases people who have degrees will out earn those who don't.

My Dbro made a fortune as a builder and a friend who works in luxury home-ware sales has made a fortune in commission working there over 20 years, 6 figures every year.

I live in a mixed social area a lot of people without degrees have made a decent life for themselves

I think the problem is that the comparisons are often not comparing like with like. Statistically, those who opted for a professional or vocational degree or one with directly transferable skills will on average consistently out-earn their peers without degrees. However, if you do a vague sort of degree with no direct career path at a middle tier university without really having much idea of what you expect to do with it after or what you want to do for a living and then drift into whatever work you can get after graduating (and then work for just a few years before deciding to start a family and either go part time or give up work for several years), then having a degree probably isn’t going to make much difference to your employability or lifetime income - particularly if the success comparison is with people who didn’t go to university but clearly had a fairly strong ambition and career path and apprenticed into skilled trades or found their niche and achieved well in commission-heavy roles in e.g. sales and marketing.

I don't believe that to be true regarding degrees, I just think you are manipulated by the press to believe that. Its a bit of a red herring. Someone that for instance does a medical degree and goes on to be a doctor will out earn someone who goes into the health care industry as obviously you cannot be a doctor without a degree.

If you want to be an accountant you have to do professional qualifications, having a degree doesn't mean you don't have to and you won't earn more by having a degree. Possibly less as the experience and knowledge you gain whilst qualifying is much better than what you gain doing a degree.

There are lots of degrees that will not actually enable you to go directly into a career so in turn won't actually enable you to earn a high salary compared to those on apprenticeship schemes or working their way up in a company. Not to mention those who start their own businesses.

Yes I agree. The problem is op assumed she was definitely earning more as she had a degree and that’s the problem here.

A degree is no guarantee you will our earn all your peers that don’t have one. Aside from my friend who is a doctor I out earn all my friends who do have a degree. But I never imagined I would work in this industry and was lucky enough to catch the eye of an employer who pays above average wages in the industry, due to previous work I did in a different (slightly related) industry.

It can definitely help your chances. But assuming you earn more than people who don’t have one is a mistake. Making decisions on how you treat people based on that assumption is also a mistake.

I did encourage and support dd going to Uni. Because she requires a law degree to follow her chosen career path. But she is aware the degree itself doesn’t bring success

I think statistically, the data suggests that degree holders out earn those with a lower level of education. Of course that doesn’t include professional qualifications that may be equivalent to, or higher than, a standard Bachelors degree (eg a Level 6 qualification). It also doesn’t account for individual cases which buck the general trend.