To be disgusted by friends salary?

[Emeraldi]

I’ve spent the past week staying at a good friends dog-sitting whilst her and her partner are away on holiday. I mistakenly stumbled across an offer letter for her current job in a drawer whilst I was looking for something else, which set out her salary package. I wish I hadn’t, as I was absolutely shocked to see that she is earning very close to 6 figures and I can’t get it off my mind.

I had no idea she was earning a salary like this, we are both just under 30, she never went to uni whereas I did and I’m not even earning half of her salary and up to my eyeballs in student debt. Naturally I thought I was the higher earner of the two and have always been generous to help her out, such as cheap dog sitting when she’s away, buying her a drink when we’ve gone out etc.

She’s always been very money conscious so I had no reason to believe otherwise. This time she’s even left me a list of “house rules” during my stay about turning off all electrical items at the mains after use and keeping the heating at a set level to reduce heating costs.

It’s clear that she’s been using me to dog sit as she is no doubt paying me far less than she would pay for boarding at a kennels and I think of all the other times I’ve let her off financially for things in the past, like rounds of drinks or when I’ve brought dinner round. AIBU to feel used and to want to get my money back? Not sure how best to approach this. TIA

Her salary is none of your business and you shouldn't b

What job does she do?

How on earth do you "accidentally" read someone's salary package?

It’s clear that she’s been using me to dog sit as she is no doubt paying me far less than she would pay for boarding at a kennels

i don't put my dog in kennels because he'd hate it, not because it's expensive.

That's what you get for nebbing.

Stop treating her like the poor friend, now you know that you are and have a more equal friendships if money matters to you.

Maybe not do any more dog sitting either since you snoop.

Oh you should definitely approach it with “I accidentally on purpose had a good old nose through your private correspondence and saw how much you earn. As it’s way more than I think you deserve, I’ve totted up all the money I’ve ever spent on you. Happy to accept cash in a brown envelope” Hope that helps 🙄

You agreed a doggy sitting rate with her, no need to be bitter now you think she could afford to pay you more.

You are way out of order - and I doubt you have been treating her for drinks or meals, more than she has you, I'm sure there have been rounds that got messy as people got more drunk. I doubt your friend was purposefully draining you financially. The snooping is way out of line, followed by the resentment.

Her salary is none of your business and you shouldn't be reading her mail. I would be very unhappy if one of my friends behaved like you.

Intrigued how you 'accidently' came across and READ a letter about her personal finances in her drawer. Snooping more like.

Personally, if I was her I'd not let you back in my house. I don't expect guests to go noseying through my private affairs.

And this is why I would never have anyone in my house when I was away. A friend she trusts, poking through her private papers, posting on the Internet what she finds. 😳

oh yes - and I also did not go to University and went only went to college to go to secretary school

I just want to know what she does for a living for that kind of money?

Why would a person who is clearly careful with money be worse off than you. She sounds smart. You sound jealous and also nosey.

You’re clearly green with envy and liked thinking you were a bit better than her because you went to un I and summed you would ‘naturally’ be earning more. Now the dynamic has changed and you don’t like it.

This!!

I'm afraid a university education often doesn't mean a thing these days. You do sound extremely resentful - as if she doesn't deserve it.

Sorry that you've had this reality check..,

LOL so you are basically a bit pissed off that in your eyes she is 'doing better' than you and that's changed the dynamics in your friendship and you can no longer feel all high and mighty

Exactly this

lack of university education

This has got to be a wind-up, surely.

And stop snooping if it's not. No good comes of it.

Unless she’s asked you to buy her drinks or asked for discounted dog sitting then ultimately you’ve just made assumptions about her which turn out to have been incorrect. The house rules are a bit mean, sure: but considering how frivolous some people seem to be with their energy and heating, perhaps she wanted to make sure you didn’t interpret staying at hers as an opportunity to crank her heating up to full and not worry about the bills.

I buy friends drinks all the time, as they do me, it all works out in the wash, and I wouldn’t charge a friend for helping with their pet in the first place unless petsitting was actually my job, though I suppose that’s by the by. I wouldn’t feel “used” on either account.

You know the idea that if you are stuck in a hole, you stop digging? You should follow that.

Your view of your friend is very 'holier than thou' and the fact you think your university degree means you should earn more than someone else is very, very misguided.

Your view of your friend is horrible and I hope you can read this back and understand that.

There is no reason for you to be subsidizing any of your friends. Lots of high earners are frugal. Just because someone earns a decent income doesn’t mean that money needs to be wasted.

Please address it with her, absolutely.

So she knows not to let Mrs Mcsnoopy in again

Bloody hell. I’d let her know how crap of a friend you are.

But its not her fault you made that assumption or that it’s wrong. You seem to want to blame her for something.

I would put your hard hat on, OP. (Quite rightly) this isn’t going to go well for you.

@SerenaTee I know you're being flippant but this really made me laugh!