To be disgusted by friends salary?

[Emeraldi]

I’ve spent the past week staying at a good friends dog-sitting whilst her and her partner are away on holiday. I mistakenly stumbled across an offer letter for her current job in a drawer whilst I was looking for something else, which set out her salary package. I wish I hadn’t, as I was absolutely shocked to see that she is earning very close to 6 figures and I can’t get it off my mind.

I had no idea she was earning a salary like this, we are both just under 30, she never went to uni whereas I did and I’m not even earning half of her salary and up to my eyeballs in student debt. Naturally I thought I was the higher earner of the two and have always been generous to help her out, such as cheap dog sitting when she’s away, buying her a drink when we’ve gone out etc.

She’s always been very money conscious so I had no reason to believe otherwise. This time she’s even left me a list of “house rules” during my stay about turning off all electrical items at the mains after use and keeping the heating at a set level to reduce heating costs.

It’s clear that she’s been using me to dog sit as she is no doubt paying me far less than she would pay for boarding at a kennels and I think of all the other times I’ve let her off financially for things in the past, like rounds of drinks or when I’ve brought dinner round. AIBU to feel used and to want to get my money back? Not sure how best to approach this. TIA

Not to derail the thread or anything but what does she do? 🤔just wondering how you can earn this without a degree and obviously an being nosy

Oh why so cynical?

Perhaps the OP mistook the letter for the tin opener when she tried to feed the dog? 🤔😂

Agree with almost everyone else, this is very unreasonable behaviour. Firstly you were snooping whilst she trusted you. Secondly she’s obviously assumed you’re a friend helping her out with the pet sitting etc. Very rude of you to assume she didn’t earn as much because she’s sensible with money or didn’t go to university.

You sound entitled op and feel your more deserving. Did you think you were a notch above her ? Was she your yardstick? I can see your point of view about subsiding her on nights out and would up my dog sitting rates but I don't think this friendship will last .

Wow! You are really unread and entitled yourself. She’d be better off without you as a friend.

maybe she would rather a trusted friend look after her dog.

What a nosey, untrustworthy and jealous friend you are!
I hope she finds out what kind of person you are and ditches you

You just sound like you've done things a friend would do? Charging for dog sitting seems odd unless it’s your career? ‘Letting her off a round’? I don’t tend to keep track or notice of this kind of thing with friends. We all have good salaries, it all comes out in the wash. She probably assumes you earn the same as her. She’s done nothing wrong

you assumed her lack of university education would place her at a low earning position.....my word dog sitting is usually based on an animal not liking being in a kennel and occasionally around fees.

I didnt go to uni but I am sat in a 1.4 million house in a popular area of london having left my council estate and did well for myself ...it happens you know....my dog has anxiety and cant be left at kennels so i do rely on friends... your a twat

I don’t have a degree but I earn a decent (not amazing) salary.

dont think I don’t notice people are a bit pissed off if they think I earn more than them but they have a degree and I don’t.

@OP, what did you study at University ?

Summary of my opinions:

• You snooped.
• You're jealous.
• Charging a friend for dog sitting, regardless of what they earn, is tight AF.
• None of your business what she earns.
• you aren't being honest with yourself about why you feel so bothered by this.
• YABU.

Sounds like the green eyed monster to me. Particularly with the comment about you having gone to uni so "naturally" you thought you were the higher earner.

I have a friend who head tilts when speaking about cost of living because she “hopes dh and I are okay” etc, speaks about her high earning which is the same as 2 salaries… dh and I each earn more than her but she’s no idea because it is none of her business. Our income doesn’t change who we are but her attitude and how she likes to see us as beneath her is embarrassing. I’ve distanced from her.

So you snooped and now you're green with envy! YABU. I wouldn't even think of charging a friend for dog sitting if I was staying at their house and using their electricity and heating.

Missing the point, I know, but I'm curious to know what job your friend has, OP?

My friends and I do things for one another because we care about each other. Whether we can afford to pay someone to do it doesn't come into it. Our friendships are worth more than money.

I am amazed you posted on here about reading her private mail. It is an offence if you opened the letter.
I am a successful lady and the only place I have ever confirmed my degrees (Oxford) is when someone is nasty on mumsnet. My family know, my friends don't.
If she is a slow to the bar, pull her up on it. If she owes you money that is a different post. Wind your neck in.

This salary letter that you stumbled across while pet / housesitting…was it in the cupboard with the dog food? In the drawer with the cutlery? Totally unfolded, face up and not in an envelope? As I can see no way that anyone can ‘stumble’ on someone’s private salary information while looking after a pet.

YABVU to think you are superior in education etc and assume you must be better off.

YANBU to decide not to be quite so financially generous in future.

You found this paperwork by accident? Did you fuck.

Green eyed monster wow!!!
It's not her fault you've subsidised her life because you assumed something you shouldn't. That's on you. Maybe she's mortgage free aswell and used all her money wisely or got a wack off pension as well as a great salary and no student loans 😃

Us thick arse twats who don't go to uni sometimes do okay 👌🏻

Has she asked you to pay for drinks or food? Or made indirect requests like "I wish I had money for a glass of wine. I will have tap water". Or have you just offered? It doesn't sound like she has asked or fakig being poor.

Cause cheap dog sitting or hel pwith decorating sound like a thing that a friend does. I'm sure emy brother can afford to hire movers but I'm still happy to help. You don't have to offer but I don't think friendship really works so transactionally. She might be completely unaware that you're doing it cause you think she's struggling.

Nah this isn’t good from you all round OP. You seem to have liked the thought of her being the poor downtrodden friend and seem unhappy that’s not the truth. Have a think about your reaction.

How exactly does one ‘accidentally’ find a confidential document in a drawer not in their own home. Why were you looking in there in the first place?
I’m glad you’re not my friend

wow, can't believe some of these responses. ok, so OP shouldn't have looked at the letter, but she did. far worse is her friend has loads of money and has been as mean as muck whilst OP has been really generous. and yes, most people do go to uni in the hope of getting a better job. Dump the friend OP, you are literally worth so much more!(and you have a degree!!)