MIL asking for gift back

[hattiez]

My MIL knitted / crocheted some cardigans / jumpers/ outfits and a couple of blankets for my son when he was born. They where given to us in a gift bag / wrapped in tissue paper and with a card with the usual congratulations on. One of the blankets had his name on and the other in colours/ design to match the nursery we planned.
A distant member of my husbands family related by marriage is due a baby shortly, my MIL has asked for the items she made for my son to be returned so she can give them to the family member.
My son is a young toddler and we hope to have another child shortly so we haven't passed on any of the baby things yet as hope to be able to use them again.
I'm not a hoarder and will happily pass things on once no longer needed and I appreciate that perhaps my MIL just wants to see the things she made in use again or that it may have been poorly worded and will of course return the items she made and gifted but AIBU unreasonable to be a bit upset / shocked that she's asked for them back to regift particularly as one has his name on and were quite personalised?
The cardigans and outfits obviously no longer fit so have been stored with his other clothes hopefully for a sibling and the blanket is on the chair in his room.
I appreciate families / friends hand things down / pass things on and we benefitted from friends giving us things however I would have kept the hand kitted things regardless in appreciation of the love and work gone into them.
I will return the items I think as it would seem she wants them back and I respect that she made them but it makes me feel a bit upset and weird that she has asked for what I thought was a gift back to pass on and wary of accepting future "gifts" in case they are also removed but perhaps its just me being unreasonable

I'm not sure she's thinking really. I'd just say that they mean a lot to you as they were a gift and you'd worry you wouldn't get them back in the same state afterwards. I don't think she's thinking they were a loan, but rather that she's put a lot of effort into them, it'd be nice if they were worn, and here's another baby that could wear them. If you explain I doubt she'd be offended.

honestly she didn’t ask you directly so just ignore it until she does. YANBU but this doesn’t have to to be a big deal.

No I wouldn't return them. I would say that you loved the gifts and intend to pass them on to your next child. If you want to be nice, you could say that if she really wants these presents back, you will do so when your children have finished with them. I really have never heard of anything so bonkers.

Bit harsh. Maybe it was a baby's blanket. When you give someone a gift, it's extremely rude to ask for it back.

@GiselleRose i think the MIL wanted to see her handiwork again and maybe get some more praise for it or maybe she wanted affirmation that it was still loved. I can understand that to an extent, but it's still not great behaviour. Much better to just ask to look at her work.

This . And then don’t contact her - your husband needs to sort this. What a nasty woman

I find things like this odd.

My MIL offered to buy us something we needed then said "oh and I can pass it to x and y (her other children) when they have kids"

We refused the item, I didn't want to have to worry about the condition of something or hand it around when we planned other children.

We bought it ourself.

My parents have bought loads for my DC with not 1 mention of having it back, as it's bought for us and our DC, not a pass around. That should be up to us.

It did only happen with one item, but I'm glad she told us before she bought it as I wouldn't accept anything in that situation. Just like I won't pass around my baby stuff until I know I'm done with having children.

You are very polite OP. I would just say directly “oh, I thought they were gifts not loaned”. If after that she still insists on you returning them, you should send everything back, including any recent gifts. I also wouldn’t be accepting future gifts, explaining it’s not worth the hassle and you don’t want to take things in case DS gets attached.

Odd request!

This is so unlike most of the comments about hand knitted baby items ... I manage a charity shop and we are donated loads of beautifully knitted, but clearly unwanted baby clothes.

Say to her
I thought they were gifts.
You even put my son's name on one of the blankets. You want to give X a blanket with my son's name on?

Tell her to get knitted.

Is she trying to slyly find out if you are planning another baby! 😁

Just say you looked for them and can't find where you stored them so you cannot return the gifts she gave your son

Just say no. It’s super weird that she wants them back to re gift.

Very strange. I have clothed all of the babies in this family and have never asked for anything back. In fact going through the washing machine upteen times they are usually not worth passing on. Why would she want to be regifting worn items?

It was a handmade baby blanket that we had packed away with the baby things because it was a treasured gift. Yes, I am sure the only reason she wanted it back was to show off her handiwork to the neighbour!

I wouldn’t accept any more handmade items. I’d say something along the lines of “now we know that they’re just being lent to us, we’re not comfortable taking them as we don’t want to damage or lose them as they’re not ours to keep”.

But i’m petty!

Seriously though, it is completely different, I never borrow baby stuff as I’d be too worried about breaking it/damaging etc. I prefer to get my own stuff that doesn’t need to be returned.

My DM can barely move her hands for arthritis.

She still knits Baby clothes are ideal as v little weight on your hands. Nothing stops a knitter from knitting.

Thank you again for your replies.
I am going to let my husband handle this however I think he was also shocked at the request.
It is as much about the principal as the actual items and I agree with the poster who said about what will be next will they request my sons birthday present etc back on a whim or to gift to other distant family members.
As far as I could tell the items where nee when given to ourselves and my sister in laws received similar knitted gifts from my MIL when they had their children although they are older now, as far as I'm aware they where not asked to return them / pass them on and one sister definitely still has the items as she showed me them when pregnant in her children's boxes

What about
Hi mil, that scarf I bought you for last Christmas can you post it back aspa as Joan down the Road is feeling the pinch and I said she could have it..
Cfery has no age limits does it?

Simples!!

Just explain how feeing and that would love to give to him when grown up etc x

Why should the OP fork out for different items? What a bizarre suggestion!

For the sake of world peace , I would return them , it is a bit weird but there are lots of strange people about.

Is this a bizarre PA way of her trying to find out if you are planning on having another baby