MIL asking for gift back

[hattiez]

My MIL knitted / crocheted some cardigans / jumpers/ outfits and a couple of blankets for my son when he was born. They where given to us in a gift bag / wrapped in tissue paper and with a card with the usual congratulations on. One of the blankets had his name on and the other in colours/ design to match the nursery we planned.
A distant member of my husbands family related by marriage is due a baby shortly, my MIL has asked for the items she made for my son to be returned so she can give them to the family member.
My son is a young toddler and we hope to have another child shortly so we haven't passed on any of the baby things yet as hope to be able to use them again.
I'm not a hoarder and will happily pass things on once no longer needed and I appreciate that perhaps my MIL just wants to see the things she made in use again or that it may have been poorly worded and will of course return the items she made and gifted but AIBU unreasonable to be a bit upset / shocked that she's asked for them back to regift particularly as one has his name on and were quite personalised?
The cardigans and outfits obviously no longer fit so have been stored with his other clothes hopefully for a sibling and the blanket is on the chair in his room.
I appreciate families / friends hand things down / pass things on and we benefitted from friends giving us things however I would have kept the hand kitted things regardless in appreciation of the love and work gone into them.
I will return the items I think as it would seem she wants them back and I respect that she made them but it makes me feel a bit upset and weird that she has asked for what I thought was a gift back to pass on and wary of accepting future "gifts" in case they are also removed but perhaps its just me being unreasonable

I knit a lot of baby stuff for friends and family. I would know straight away that I had not knitted any of those cardigans, most of them look machine knit to me, and they are too perfect to pass as my hand knitting!
I would also never ask for a knitted item back. A lot of love and care goes into knitting a gift. It's always very much intended for that recipient.

I think I’d say something along these lines. Is she struggling to knit / crochet now? Maybe she’s sad to not be able to offer this new family baby the same? Realistically tho, it’s not a reasonable request, a gift is a gift… particularly when it’s a personalised one for goodness sake!!

Do not do this! Of course a knitter is going to be able to tell the difference between one they made and store bought!

W@Wetblanket78

its easy enough to take the name off

Thank you for your responses it's certainly given me some points to consider.
The family member is ( I think this is right) my MIL's brothers step niece, of my MIL had requested the items back to pass onto one of my sons cousins or similar I think I would have understood a bit more and I agree its lovely sharing items with family but I've never met this lady and my husband says he only knows her by name. They do not live local and I can't see how my MIL could know her that well.
The request for the items was made via phone call to my husband however he had her on speaker phone and I was nearby and was along the lines of " so and so is having a baby due next year so I'll be needing xyz to pass on now and listed the items so if you can get them ready so I can post them.
MIl has knitted a few winter bits for DS recently and they are comfortable financially / no changes in health and she is not the type to suffer in silance/ lifestyle so I would be surprised if there was a financial or health concern that stopped her from knitting although that is a very good point and I will check with my husband that he agrees.
I understand the practicality of storing things we may not use if a different gender / season and her wanting them to be used from a practical point of view and perhaps I'm just being grumpy and it was poorly worded.
It took us 6 years and multiple losses to have DS which my MIL was not particularly sensitive too or kind about so we don't really want to tell her we hope for another child although its possible she may have assumed we won't have another hence asking for the things to pass on. I didn't buy much in the smaller newborn sizes as I wasn't sure we would make it that far.
I think we will be very clear in the future what is a gift and what is a loan and hand the items back and forget about it

I'd tell her that you loved the items so much that you were hoping to use them again in the future. If she responds with, 'you can have them back afterwards', tell her it won't be the same but if you're insistent, have them. It'll make her look really mean and to be quite honest, she deserves to feel like that. Who asks for gifts back!! But keep that blanket!

so and so is having a baby due next year so I'll be needing xyz to pass on now

That sounds really rude & tbh I'd probably feel like giving the whole bloody lot back now.

If she'd mentioned that someone was pregnant & you could take the hint or not re passing stuff on that might be something.

I wonder if the items were newly knitted when she gave them to you. Could they have been taken back from someone else beforehand?

You don't knit do you 😂😂

Just tell her no and that you are keeping them for the next baby. They were a gift and personalised.

With no background on the MIL's usual behaviour it's hard to say how I would react. If she is usually lovely then she may be a bit confused, she may have forgotten she personalised them and she may remember it all very differently. In which case I would be gentle but firm, they were a gift, they are personalised, you loved them, you are planning to use them again, and you are keeping them. If she is a hag then I would just say 'no, you can't have them back, they were a gift'.

MIl has knitted a few winter bits for DS recently and they are comfortable

I'd send those back as well. I'd package up every last item and post it back and when she offers more knitted gifts politely refuse.
I couldn't accept stuff and then wait with baited breath until she requested it's return. Sod that.

I'd say, they're stored away in the loft for baby number 2. I wouldn't give them back.

This.

She sounds thick as mud and I would be very pissed off at her asking for what was clearly a gift, to be returned.

Even more so considering your six years of trying for a baby.

I would tell my husband to deal with it firmly or I won't be tactful doing so.

If your husband insists they are returned, then I would make it very clear that I would be taking a massive step back from his family.

She is being extremely rude.

Either way I wouldn't be accepting any further "gifts" from her.

I have a memory box for each of my children and each of them has a hand knitted cardigan in it that they wore as babys.
They are very precious.

They don’t look anything like hand knit! Are you on glue? 🤣

Your MIL is unreasonable - suppose you'd already passed the things on to someone else?

The exact same thing happened to me. (Ex) MIL made a blanket for dc (now 18). Asked for it back when he was about 4 to give to a neighbours grandchild. I found it so odd. We couldn’t find the blanket she wanted back at the time and DH told her this. A couple of months later, she asked me directly, I searched again, found it and gave it back to her but she told me to keep it. I still don’t understand it. To me, if you make a special gift like that for a grandchild, it’s a gift, why would you think to ask for it to be returned? If it hadn’t been a gift. I wish she had explained that at the time. My gut feeling is that she wanted to show off her handiwork to her neighbours.

I’d keep the blanket at least!!

To anyone having a laugh at my suggestion - the links are just suggestions. I did knit and you can end up with something that closely resembles at least one of the cardigans. Also you can knit on a knitting machine which gives a much closer/smaller knitting stitch/plain/purl so it can look shop bought. It was also just a suggestion to get your MiL off your back.
Use it, don't use the suggestion, it's entirely up to you.

No I'm not on glue to the person who suggested it. It was a genuine suggestion in order to get the grabby MiL off the OP's back.

I'd just say something like 'Oh I'd thought they were a gift to dc, not a loan.' And then I'd probably give the cardigans back but keep the blankets, telling her that they are still in use and dc is very attached to them.

Don't be so passive, get DH to tell her that as they were a gift and some are personalised with DC's name, that you would prefer to keep them.

Not really a special gift if it’s so lost that you have no idea where it is and takes 2 months to find! I’d guess that if people have put a lot of effort in they want items to be used. OP if you’re using the blankets and used the rest and are planning to use them again I’m sure she wouldn’t expect them back

Not necessarily, at all. Plus it's USED.

It is a bit of a strange request and I'd be inclined to tell her that you were hoping to hang on to special / sentimental items such as the personalised items she gifted you. Also you are thinking of having another child so holding on to your baby bits until you are done and then of course you'd be happy to pass things on.