Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what is the biggest mistake you've made in your life

327 replies

Smileeriley · 04/10/2022 00:39

Mine is a double whammy, getting married and buying my current house.

The house in particular is a noose around my neck. I'm basically renting it from my mortgage company and it will never be mine.

Worst thing I ever did was but this house with my ex husband. He's a whole other thread.

OP posts:
TheVillageShop · 04/10/2022 00:43

Mine's too terrible to post. I wrote it out but it looked so terrible I erased it. Shocked me, even after 50 years.

Original poster
Smileeriley · 04/10/2022 00:50

@TheVillageShop be brave, no judgement here.
I've done some pretty shitty things, but marriage and a mortgage have near killed me.

OP posts:
ShippingNews · 04/10/2022 00:57

First marriage. I had lots of plans for travel and study. Then I had a horrible experience which knocked my self confidence. A good friend was there for me, and I mistook my gratitude for love . We got married in a great rush of relief ( me) and happiness ( him).

By the next day, I knew I'd made a mistake, but I hung on because .... Well I guess it was because he was a decent man . I wish I'd done us both a favour and left, but I stayed and made a good home and family. Left after 24 years, what a waste of both our lives !

All good now, we both have happy lives with other partners, but oh I do wish I could have those years back !

Original poster
Smileeriley · 04/10/2022 01:10

@ShippingNews you had a family, not a waste lovely.

OP posts:
Original poster
Smileeriley · 04/10/2022 01:11

And for what it's worth, I think you were very brave and ultimately did the right thing.

OP posts:
mackthepony · 04/10/2022 01:11

Married the wrong bloke

Fourcandleforkhandle · 04/10/2022 01:13

Giving my estranged Husband a second chance.

dropthevipers · 04/10/2022 01:19

Got into drugs. That was a five year lost weekend.

Summerlaundry · 04/10/2022 01:19

Studying psychology. What a wank. If I hadn't though, I'd never have known and might be regretting the other way.

GingerKittenTail · 04/10/2022 01:20

No believing in myslef and not realising my life is for me

OutOntheTilez · 04/10/2022 01:34

Just like you, OP, marrying the man I did and buying this house with him.

altmember · 04/10/2022 01:40

Didn't have the courage to tell my parents that I thought my uncle was suicidal. Three days later it was too late.

WalkthisWayUK · 04/10/2022 01:45

My marriage, for sure. Choosing a good man seems to make your life infinitely better. Now the awful ‘co parenting’ nightmare, aargh and the poor kids. Feel like I let them down massively.

But I have a mortgage which is the best thing ever. I now have some equity, not much, but my goodness it’s a lifeline. I have zero support and disabled child with lifelong care, Ex gives me absolutely nothing so really glad I have my mortgage. Even if I’ll have to work until I’m 75…

EspressoPatronumm · 04/10/2022 01:47

Having a mental breakdown and not realising the extent of it. I was totally disgusting and selfish, also psychotic and I lied so much because I thought it was real.

Dh's family told him to divorce me because I was so disgusting.

He doesn't speak to much of his family because of my behaviour and how they were categorical about him needing to divorce me. One of them told him it wasn't a real break down because I didn't get admitted after my suicide attempt. I was sectioned for 4 months.

I regret not asking for help earlier I guess. But it felt so real

Sahgah · 04/10/2022 01:48

Moved to the UK. Was only meant to be for a few years but OH now refuses to go back and I can’t leave my kids so I’m stuck here and miss my family so much and my job back home pays double what I get here for the same job.

StarCourt · 04/10/2022 01:49

Def getting married.

ButtercupsAndBluebells · 04/10/2022 01:53

Summerlaundry · 04/10/2022 01:19

Studying psychology. What a wank. If I hadn't though, I'd never have known and might be regretting the other way.

Same!

Battygirll · 04/10/2022 01:57

I had a well to do boyfriend and my parents were horrendously pushy.

I was only 17 and he was much older.

They pushed me at him even though he was wrong for me.

He ended up being a blight on my life and I wish I hadn't involved Mrs parents.

Beachsidesunset · 04/10/2022 01:59

TheVillageShop · 04/10/2022 00:43

Mine's too terrible to post. I wrote it out but it looked so terrible I erased it. Shocked me, even after 50 years.

I hope you can find peace and forgiveness, whatever you did.

Nosuchthingasover · 04/10/2022 02:03

I couldn’t even write it out without judgement. However, my life was changed from the age of 16, and what I would do to get the years back

Nosuchthingasover · 04/10/2022 02:04

And it’s been over 20 years now, but that one choice directed the rest of my life!
however… can’t be stuck in the past!

ShippingNews · 04/10/2022 02:25

Smileeriley · 04/10/2022 01:10

@ShippingNews you had a family, not a waste lovely.

Thanks, Smile. Yes my kids are a great blessing so you're right, the years weren't wasted. I hope you have a good outcome xx

Realityloom · 04/10/2022 02:34

@TheVillageShop 50 years is a long time. Let it go it surely can't be that bad.

pinheadlarry · 04/10/2022 02:49

Summerlaundry · 04/10/2022 01:19

Studying psychology. What a wank. If I hadn't though, I'd never have known and might be regretting the other way.

Can i ask why ??

Onesailwait · 04/10/2022 02:54

Sahgah · 04/10/2022 01:48

Moved to the UK. Was only meant to be for a few years but OH now refuses to go back and I can’t leave my kids so I’m stuck here and miss my family so much and my job back home pays double what I get here for the same job.

I hear you. Mine is the same but the other way around. Moving away from the UK.