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Original poster

To ask what is the biggest mistake you've made in your life

327 replies

Smileeriley · 04/10/2022 00:39

Mine is a double whammy, getting married and buying my current house.

The house in particular is a noose around my neck. I'm basically renting it from my mortgage company and it will never be mine.

Worst thing I ever did was but this house with my ex husband. He's a whole other thread.

OP posts:
TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 04/10/2022 06:47

DimplesToadfoot · 04/10/2022 04:16

Being born!

My mother had an affair, I was conceived. Her husband found out and divorced her. In one fell swoop, I had ruined his life, her life and then my half sisters as she stayed with her dad so I did her out of a mum. Apparently my mother tried to abort me but I was that evil I crawled out of the bucket to spite her. My mother then abandoned me to be raised in a children's home, so I was a burden on the state, total scum of the earth. I'm living proof why abortions should always be available and legal to all

((((HUGS)))

I'm SO sorry you've been made to feel this way!

im sure loads of people have told you this, so me saying it probably isn't going to change how you feel, but...

Thus was NOT YOUR 'mistake'. Your mother had the affair, she ruined her marriage, caused your step sister to have a changed life! She abandoned you (an innocent baby). The authorities didn't find you a family to live & raise you...

NONE of this is YOUR 'mistake'. NONE of it.

my heart is hurting for you. I'm not sure who told you that stuff & made you feel that way, but THEY are evil, not you.

You are right, abortion should always be legal & available, but NOT so that you shouldn't exist, but because no one should be made to feel like you do.

have you considered counselling??

(((HUG)))

Ceebeegee · 04/10/2022 06:48

Pissed away £14k of life savings when I was in my early 20s in the early 2000s. I could / should have put that towards a deposit on a house , but instead I spent my savings on..... I'm not even sure what. Rent , nights out , meals out and supporting a cock lodging ex. I'm quite often ashamed 25 years later when I've got a mortgage left to pay until I'm 62. That 14k would have been life changing back then . And I threw it away

PorridgePowered · 04/10/2022 06:50

Always4Brenner · 04/10/2022 04:23

Being born and no I’m not joking I can’t say latest thing I’d be hated as usual I’d be the wrong one I’m done I can’t fight no more.

Are you thinking about suicide? Remember that the samaritans are always available to listen. No judgement (unlike MN 😅) Keep yourself safe.

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 04/10/2022 06:52

Always4Brenner · 04/10/2022 04:23

Being born and no I’m not joking I can’t say latest thing I’d be hated as usual I’d be the wrong one I’m done I can’t fight no more.

@DimplesToadfoot I'm sorry, I forgot to @ you when I wrote your message above.

@Always4Brenner You didn't ask to be born, it's not your 'mistake' it's how your parents acted that's the problem! I don't know what your 'latest' thing is, but you need & deserve help, not condemnation!! Please see someone to help you.

Backtoblack1 · 04/10/2022 06:52

Had a breakdown at 40 after making some truly horrendous decisions which resulted in me losing my marriage. This continued for five years until something life changing happened which could have been a lot worse. It was the wake up call I needed.

It pulled me out of my stupor and now I am back to
’normal’. Don’t think the guilt will ever leave me though, it gets worse if anything x

DoodlePug · 04/10/2022 06:54

Not persuing a more satisfying career. My career is fine but was chosen as safe and relatively well paid after being brought up in near poverty.

I'd change careers but I have no idea what I want to be, I was top student at school, could have been literally anything but in a working class area that means you're pushed towards teaching or accountancy.

I also don't have much work ethic, again my upbringing was that you do the minimum possible for the maximum money (preferably find a way to spend life on the dole!). I think it's very sad, my colleagues seem to get a lot of satisfaction from their jobs.

But I have a great life, that's the only thing I'd wish to change.

This is an interesting thread, shows the grass isn't always greener. For example I regret not taking out a much larger mortgage. We were extremely safe in buying a house well within our budget (all those fears around not having enough money to eat surfacing) but the estate agent took us to see a house near the top of what we could buy according to her. That house is now worth £2m, our house £400k. If we'd bought we could sell it, buy our current house and retire comfortably 😢

coralpig · 04/10/2022 06:59

Not telling my teachers (or anybody really) that I was being abused at home.

I finally got out but many many years later and it’s messed me up pretty badly.

Oysterbabe · 04/10/2022 07:06

Stayed in a career I hated. I've gradually become fairly senior over 20 years but I hate it with the power of a thousand suns, feel sick each morning at the thought of turning my computer on. I wouldn't be able to change now without a huge pay cut and I don't know what I'd do anyway.

NeverAdmittedThisBefore · 04/10/2022 07:07

I've name changed for this.

Visiting a family member in hospital.

She was undergoing chemotherapy. I didn't know it at the time, but I was incubating a cold - the following day I woke up with a full on head cold.

Ten days later she died after having an infection she could not fight off.

I don't know for sure that it's linked but I feel the odds are high.

GloriousGlory · 04/10/2022 07:12

DimplesToadfoot · 04/10/2022 04:16

Being born!

My mother had an affair, I was conceived. Her husband found out and divorced her. In one fell swoop, I had ruined his life, her life and then my half sisters as she stayed with her dad so I did her out of a mum. Apparently my mother tried to abort me but I was that evil I crawled out of the bucket to spite her. My mother then abandoned me to be raised in a children's home, so I was a burden on the state, total scum of the earth. I'm living proof why abortions should always be available and legal to all

I've typed so many answers to this, none are right. I'm just really sorry you feel this way. FlowersFlowers

Questions12 · 04/10/2022 07:13

Getting married when I didn't want to

GloriousGlory · 04/10/2022 07:14

Always4Brenner · 04/10/2022 04:23

Being born and no I’m not joking I can’t say latest thing I’d be hated as usual I’d be the wrong one I’m done I can’t fight no more.

You sound terribly upset, is there something you want to discuss on here? I'm sure someone would've experienced something similar and offer advice. FlowersFlowers

orangesunshine · 04/10/2022 07:18

Not concentrating on my career enough when I was younger - priority went to having a laugh with mates and drinking too much. I’m now far behind where I should be at my age.

Recently, getting a dog. Rest of the family love him but I find him a total burden sadly.

MeowMeowPowerRangers · 04/10/2022 07:20

Moving near my mother in law, she can be nice but she can also be horrific with her mood swings and guess which muggings has to put up with it on a daily basis? Me. Sad
I'd move back home in a heart beat if I could!

Roselilly36 · 04/10/2022 07:21

Not cutting my very toxic, narcissistic mother out of my life, much earlier than I did. I hugely regret that, I was hopeful for change at the time.

Not calling my elderly relative the day before she suddenly died.

Whilst I don’t think I did anything wrong to cause it, what causes Multiple Sclerosis is not known, having MS is one of my biggest regrets in life. It affects me and those closest to me everyday.

AsAnyFuleKno · 04/10/2022 07:22

NeverAdmittedThisBefore · 04/10/2022 07:07

I've name changed for this.

Visiting a family member in hospital.

She was undergoing chemotherapy. I didn't know it at the time, but I was incubating a cold - the following day I woke up with a full on head cold.

Ten days later she died after having an infection she could not fight off.

I don't know for sure that it's linked but I feel the odds are high.

If your relative was in hospital she would have been exposed to infection from a lot of sources - any one of the medical staff treating her might have been incubating an illness. It's possible it was your cold she caught but I wouldn't say the odds were 'high' - just an off chance, really. Flowers

UnderCoverFieldAgent · 04/10/2022 07:23

My friend invited me out one weekend and I was due to work. I initially said no but as I hadn’t seen her in a while decided to sack off work and went out (I was only 18) Whilst we were there, we were dancing and I saw over her shoulder a guy we both knew and I said ‘hey there’s XXX’ and we decided to say hi. She ended up chatting to him for so long that his mates came back into the pub. One of them included my now ex-husband who I then got chatting to…the rest is history what a twat.

So many things could have stopped me meeting that moron. Going to work, not suggesting we chat to XX, my friend chatting to XX for a shorter amount of time so his mates didn’t come back, me going to the bar instead of chatting to XX. It sounds like I’m blaming my mate but I’m really not, I just wish I hadn’t gone out that night.

SallyWD · 04/10/2022 07:25

I don't really have any regrets but I do wish I'd thought more about establishing a career.

dancinfeet · 04/10/2022 07:25

marrying my ex husband, and never learning to drive. I wish I had learnt to drive, now I can’t afford to and it’s isolating.

lljkk · 04/10/2022 07:25

I'd get too depressed if I tried to figure this out!! Biggest might still be in future, too.

movingsky · 04/10/2022 07:26

Marriage.

torquewench · 04/10/2022 07:31

Believing my ex when he said he loved me and wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. Then he stopped lovebombing me 3 months after I'd moved in 🤦🏼‍♀️

Bumpsadaisie · 04/10/2022 07:31

DimplesToadfoot · 04/10/2022 04:16

Being born!

My mother had an affair, I was conceived. Her husband found out and divorced her. In one fell swoop, I had ruined his life, her life and then my half sisters as she stayed with her dad so I did her out of a mum. Apparently my mother tried to abort me but I was that evil I crawled out of the bucket to spite her. My mother then abandoned me to be raised in a children's home, so I was a burden on the state, total scum of the earth. I'm living proof why abortions should always be available and legal to all

😢

This is so sad. None of that was your fault. Did the adults have no responsibility here?

Your life is precious.

Whataretheyfeedingyou · 04/10/2022 07:32

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

AsAnyFuleKno · 04/10/2022 07:32

There are a lot of things I wish I'd done differently, but I remind myself that I don't really know how my life would have turned out if I'd changed my decision.

If I'd taken Job B instead of Job A when I was 22, I might have hated Job B even more than I found I hated Job A; or I might have loved it but walked under a bus on my way home and died.

Actions can have all kinds of unexpected consequences; it's never reliable to think if you'd done X thing or not done Y thing in the past, your life in 2022 would be better.