To ask what is the biggest mistake you've made in your life

[Smileeriley]

Mine is a double whammy, getting married and buying my current house.

The house in particular is a noose around my neck. I'm basically renting it from my mortgage company and it will never be mine.

Worst thing I ever did was but this house with my ex husband. He's a whole other thread.

Not going to uni. My predicted grades didn't get me an offer from the course I wanted but my final results would have. I had little support from my parents (dad just didn't really have a clue and mum actively discouraged me for her own reasons).

The only upside was that I got on the property ladder at twenty but sold my flat 2 years later rather than renting it out. At the time getting £40k for a flat I'd paid £28k for seemed miraculous. 10 years later those flats were selling for £160k.

I'd either have a regular additional monthly income or be mortgage free with about 50k in the bank now.

Uni is still the bigger regret though. I hope to do OU one day but it's not quite the same.

Harrumph.

Having children with someone in the military

Having a much older boyfriend while at uni, who wasn’t a student and had no interest in my studies. I ended up spending half my time away from my course and missed out on a huge amount both academically and more generally. It worked out ok in the end- I got a reasonable degree and went on to do all the things I wanted. But it was a waste of an amazing opportunity for which I’d worked extremely hard.

Moving out of London and buying an enormous money pit in the sticks. DH loves it though and the only way he’d leave would be in a box. I’m truly stuck.

Some I am far too ashamed to ever admit, I just block them out and hope for the best.

one I can say though is going to uni was the biggest mistake of my life. I had wanted to do a vocation I could do at college, but was persuaded to ‘better myself’ and go to uni. I left with a degree that makes me nothing, gave me debt and which I hated every single second of.

Stayed with my ex for far too long. Many unhappy years.
Kind of connected, didn’t push for a mental health diagnosis/treatment.

I have the same regret. But fortunately for me circumstances allowed me to return to my home country with my DC (fucking horrible circumstances though).

What's wrong with studying psychology?

I’ll be hated I’ve seen that scammers bord well I was depressed vulnerable me im
paying for it so those there can condemn me like everyone else on there my live will never be better even with new home. Im being blackmailed police fantastic ( off before being condemned)

Getting myself into debt and keeping it a secret. I live in fear of the post and getting found out every day. This is my punishment. In order to keep it secret I’ve lied and I know that the day will come when it all unravels and my husband will (quite rightly) leave me.

I love my husband and family and the thought of not being together is unbearable but I know the day will come.

I’ve confided in nobody (until this post), the fear and shame prevent me from doing so.

Difficult to think of one single massive mistake, there are things I wish I hadn't done, especially in a work/career context, but then they've led to other things which have been good and had I not taken a particular job I might not have ended up in another job I liked and so on.

I wish I'd married someone from an EU country so my ds had an EU passport and the opportunities that have closed to British passport holders.

@ScentOfSawdust I know people on my course who loved psychology and went on to make a career out if it. It wasn't the right course for me but it doesn't mean it isn't right for your daughter if she chooses it.

Some bits were fascinating like the scientific parts but others were really wishy washy and frankly, useless. I don't think I learnt anything that benefitted my life. I have never used any of it and it seemed like quite a limiting degree in that it doesn't easily apply to jobs outsidd thd field, but I guess a lot of degrees are like that.

Maybe I should have worded my regret as being more about being too much of a coward / people pleaser to change thr course when I realised it wasn't for me.

When I was 21 I appeared in a lads mag for a certain feature they used to do. Wasn’t topless but as close to it in underwear and doing all the “poses”. I stupidly thought it would be a laugh and I guess if being honest liked the attention. One of the biggest regrets of my entire life and I feel ashamed that I did it as I upset my family deeply. Stupid silly naive girl.

Topee, get some help! Talk to Citizen's Advice so you can make a plan. Then once you're on track, talk to your DH and tell him you messed up but you're sorting it. Don't let this continue - help is out there!

Going to uni and dropping out. Marrying my ex husband. Running up debts. Becoming part of a “blended family” for six years which has also now gone to shit. 42 and feeling fairly crap about myself to be honest! The only good thing I’ve done is raise my lovely son whilst navigating the choppy waters of “co parenting”.

Married a complete twat in order to escape my crap family. Took years to get rid of him and sort out my life properly.

Oh poor you- what a worry. But it’s fixable. As pp suggests talk to CAB or else to StepChange (be careful if googling as a lot of unscrupulous companies advertise with a similar name). Get some advice and start dealing with it. Honestly, saying it to another person will halve the stress and the worry.

I got out despite the terrible health. I have no money, no security but I did it anyway. Not sure that was wise financially.

Mine is my one that got away... After my DH died an old friend used to come and see me... He was always kind to me... Wish I had asked him out sooner... He eventually asked me out... The afternoon of our date he texted me to say he had to go to his mother as she was very ill... I didn't see him again after that.. I did hear from him a few years ago and he was married with a daughter

if he never got back to you after that you dodged a bullet

@Topee
Get help today. OK it may be £££ but there is no debtors prison anymore. If you owe alot you can have a charge on your house. Bailiffs cannot call unless you ignore a summons. Get an iva if you have to. Don't live with the fear. I lost alot in 2008 and although it has taken me years to get back on track it can be done.
Please don't hide another day. Stepchange can help.

This

Trusting someone who wrecked my life

Getting married to an idiot and deciding procreating with him would also be a good idea. Still paying the price for my very prolonged lapse in judgement!

Taking an unnecessary medication that has ruined my sex drive and caused me all sorts of health problems.

No regrets, all paths led me to here and im happy