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AIBU?

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To question my DH about the bizarre items ive found?

449 replies

NameChangeHoney · 03/10/2022 12:06

I've been away for work, I have come back to find items that certainly aren't mine, some quite bizarre things. A top, pink nail clippers, womens razor, small makeup pallete, all things that don't belong to me. My DD had also said to me on face time when I was away that DH was talking to a lady in the shower on the phone (she is only 5) so I didn't question her I just left it.
He also keeps checking my phone when I'm not in the room which is adding to my suspicion as that isnt normal behaviour for him.
I feel a bit silly really, it's a few random items but I know they do not belong to me and i feel like hes being weird. I'm not sure now if I'm over thinking or if I should genuinely ask him who the fuck the pink nail clippers belong to 😳😂AIBU to ask or am I being a twat? How do I go forward with this? Any help greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
bewarethetides · 03/10/2022 13:59

So there was another woman in the house.
The question for him is who and why.
It's why he keeps checking your phone; someone has threatened to tell you.

Booklover3 · 03/10/2022 14:00

I hope you get the answers you need OP but I’m betting he will deny, deny, deny.

Itsbritneybitch22 · 03/10/2022 14:00

Was he on the phone to someone or did she just hear 2 voices and think he was on the phone?

cooolio · 03/10/2022 14:00

Get his phone and hide it so he can't go in and delete.

Lay the items out in front of him. Tell him she's messaged you and that she'd left the items behind as proof. That your DD also witnessed his sordid affair.

Then tell him to start talking and not stop until the whole truth is out and that you already have proof so he'd better not miss anything. Sit back and see what he says and be prepared to kick him out.

Ratherperplexed · 03/10/2022 14:01

If belonging to another woman, she's left them for you to find unless she's an untidy tramp.

Could they belong to a friend's daughter who was asked to stay over to babysit whilst your OH went out overnight?

NiqueNique · 03/10/2022 14:02

pics, or it didn't happen...

totallyoutnumbered · 03/10/2022 14:02

cooolio · 03/10/2022 14:00

Get his phone and hide it so he can't go in and delete.

Lay the items out in front of him. Tell him she's messaged you and that she'd left the items behind as proof. That your DD also witnessed his sordid affair.

Then tell him to start talking and not stop until the whole truth is out and that you already have proof so he'd better not miss anything. Sit back and see what he says and be prepared to kick him out.

This. My EXH affair partner left an eyeshadow pallet at ours. A lip balm in the car once, a hair bobble in his coat pocket. He couldn't stop checking my phone either. She'd given an ultimatum. I'm sorry OP 😞

girlmom21 · 03/10/2022 14:04

cooolio · 03/10/2022 14:00

Get his phone and hide it so he can't go in and delete.

Lay the items out in front of him. Tell him she's messaged you and that she'd left the items behind as proof. That your DD also witnessed his sordid affair.

Then tell him to start talking and not stop until the whole truth is out and that you already have proof so he'd better not miss anything. Sit back and see what he says and be prepared to kick him out.

This is a very clever approach

OrchardBlack · 03/10/2022 14:05

Good luck OP, just stay calm and factual.

mandolinwind · 03/10/2022 14:05

cooolio · 03/10/2022 14:00

Get his phone and hide it so he can't go in and delete.

Lay the items out in front of him. Tell him she's messaged you and that she'd left the items behind as proof. That your DD also witnessed his sordid affair.

Then tell him to start talking and not stop until the whole truth is out and that you already have proof so he'd better not miss anything. Sit back and see what he says and be prepared to kick him out.

Why encourage the OP to lie about having been contacted by a woman?

sourcreampringle · 03/10/2022 14:07

They’re not really ‘bizarre’ items at all :S

girlmom21 · 03/10/2022 14:09

sourcreampringle · 03/10/2022 14:07

They’re not really ‘bizarre’ items at all :S

They're bizarre if you didn't expect your husband to be cheating with your kids in the house

RFPO77 · 03/10/2022 14:09

Have you told your sister or a friend? it's perfectly understandable but I think you're in shock. There's only one real explanation for those items and it's clearly been done on purpose. He's jumpy because he knows OW has done something but doesn't know what, they probably had a row. If he was cross dressing he wouldn't have left those things for you to find, they'd be safely locked away 💐

cooolio · 03/10/2022 14:12

"Why encourage the OP to lie about having been contacted by a woman?"

Because the cheating liars never ever ever tell the truth. This way she can save herself months or years of torment.

VikingLady · 03/10/2022 14:13

You said he's recently stoped going out as much and is staying home more. It may be that he's been trying to cool the affair but she's trying to force a decision.

Good luck

RaginaPhalange · 03/10/2022 14:15

cooolio · 03/10/2022 14:00

Get his phone and hide it so he can't go in and delete.

Lay the items out in front of him. Tell him she's messaged you and that she'd left the items behind as proof. That your DD also witnessed his sordid affair.

Then tell him to start talking and not stop until the whole truth is out and that you already have proof so he'd better not miss anything. Sit back and see what he says and be prepared to kick him out.

This is good advice. I hope you get to the bottom of it OP.

GarlicCrackers · 03/10/2022 14:16

I reckon you should put the top on and see how he reacts lol

SophiaLarsen · 03/10/2022 14:17

GarlicCrackers · 03/10/2022 14:16

I reckon you should put the top on and see how he reacts lol

😂

NameChangeHoney · 03/10/2022 14:20

He come in, he asked if I wanted a cuppa I said no I want to see your phone. He asked me why and I shown him the items and he just looked at me all confused and said they are yours? I said no they aren't I want to see your phone. He reluctantly gave me his phone, called me a lunatic and went upstairs to shower.

OP posts:
Peashoots · 03/10/2022 14:23

Surely if it was an affair he would have hidden them and not put the top in your drawer?
so weird whatever the reason.

girlmom21 · 03/10/2022 14:23

Peashoots · 03/10/2022 14:23

Surely if it was an affair he would have hidden them and not put the top in your drawer?
so weird whatever the reason.

She's more likely to have left it there than him

Peashoots · 03/10/2022 14:24

girlmom21 · 03/10/2022 14:23

She's more likely to have left it there than him

Good point

Bunce1 · 03/10/2022 14:25

So he has run away?

Do you think he has another phone?

I would be livid if DH ran away like that, literally ran away! What a mess.

I really hope you get to the bottom of it!

Zonder · 03/10/2022 14:26

called me a lunatic and went upstairs to shower.

Is he always so charming?

WeepingSomnambulist · 03/10/2022 14:27

Good chance there is nothing on his phone. They all know how they get caught, so deleting everything from their chat and call history with the OW is the smart play.

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