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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To question my DH about the bizarre items ive found?

449 replies

NameChangeHoney · 03/10/2022 12:06

I've been away for work, I have come back to find items that certainly aren't mine, some quite bizarre things. A top, pink nail clippers, womens razor, small makeup pallete, all things that don't belong to me. My DD had also said to me on face time when I was away that DH was talking to a lady in the shower on the phone (she is only 5) so I didn't question her I just left it.
He also keeps checking my phone when I'm not in the room which is adding to my suspicion as that isnt normal behaviour for him.
I feel a bit silly really, it's a few random items but I know they do not belong to me and i feel like hes being weird. I'm not sure now if I'm over thinking or if I should genuinely ask him who the fuck the pink nail clippers belong to 😳😂AIBU to ask or am I being a twat? How do I go forward with this? Any help greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChangeHoney · 03/10/2022 13:41

I've just got the stuff out ready to present to him. He wouldn't fit an arm in that top. It's like a flowery low cut flowy crop top. Not something I'd wear or if he was cross dressing he would not fit in it.
I've asked my sister, she said she's spoke to dd on the phone when i was away but hadn't been round. His family live quite far from us, and dd would have mentioned if they had been so I doubt it!

OP posts:
Idratherbepaddleboarding · 03/10/2022 13:42

It sounds to me like the owner has left these things deliberately to try to send you a message (that your husband is having an affair). He probably didn’t notice since they were mingled in with your things.

girlmom21 · 03/10/2022 13:42

It all sounds like something someone very young would leave behind. How olds your husband OP?

MissVantaBlack · 03/10/2022 13:42

This is what i was thinking. His mother or sister?

But surely if it was DH's mum or sister, DD would have said, "He's talking to Granny/ Auntie Claire in the shower" rather than "He's talking to a lady in the shower"?

Itsbritneybitch22 · 03/10/2022 13:42

Unless he had someone over to help with the kids like sister or cousin and he’s embarrassed to tell you?

Itsbritneybitch22 · 03/10/2022 13:44

Ooh just seen your update I’m sorry OP it doesn’t look good, I hope he can explain this without it being an affair

Noteverybodylives · 03/10/2022 13:44

Why are people asking for a pic of the top?

For the MN saying of - ‘photo or it didn’t happen’.

TwinsAndTiramisu · 03/10/2022 13:46

Think about it. Why would he put "his" pink top in your drawer. Or his cross dressing eye shadow on top of the wardrobe. If he was a cross dresser and wanted to be found out, the top you found would fit him....it doesn't. If he was trying to hide that he was a cross dresser, he wouldn't put "his" top in your drawer. This is nothing to do with cross dressing.

These things have not been put there by him.

Zonder · 03/10/2022 13:47

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 03/10/2022 13:42

It sounds to me like the owner has left these things deliberately to try to send you a message (that your husband is having an affair). He probably didn’t notice since they were mingled in with your things.

I wondered this too.

Randomness12 · 03/10/2022 13:47

I’m so sorry OP, I’d be thinking an affair without a doubt. I hope he has a good answer for you

Hm2020 · 03/10/2022 13:47

Good luck op whatever the outcome I’ve got nothing to add that hasn’t all ready been said Gin

TokyoTen · 03/10/2022 13:48

You seem really laid back about this - or that's the impression I get anyway. I'd show him the items and say "WTF?! Explain yourself". Obviously, he has had someone round, and it's someone who wanted you to find the stuff.

Randomness12 · 03/10/2022 13:49

I also agree that it looks like she wants you to find out. One or two things left behind over time I’d understand as an accident but not like this. It’s deliberate

SuSen · 03/10/2022 13:49

Sorry OP but I can't see that this is anything other than an affair.
And she wants you to know.
And the fact he's checking your phone makes me think it's possibly someone you know, someone who has your number? Unless they threatened to message you on social media.

Not sure why you wouldn't ask him. I'd gather all these things that aren't yours and have them sitting on the table for when he gets home (assuming kids aren't around) and wait to see his reaction.

rocketfromthecrypt · 03/10/2022 13:51

Sure.

Butterbean9 · 03/10/2022 13:51

If it is another woman, and he's had her in your house and around your children, that's awful, so disrespectful.

beonmywaythen · 03/10/2022 13:52

NameChangeHoney · 03/10/2022 13:41

I've just got the stuff out ready to present to him. He wouldn't fit an arm in that top. It's like a flowery low cut flowy crop top. Not something I'd wear or if he was cross dressing he would not fit in it.
I've asked my sister, she said she's spoke to dd on the phone when i was away but hadn't been round. His family live quite far from us, and dd would have mentioned if they had been so I doubt it!

Eesh she sounds awful. A crop top??

BadNomad · 03/10/2022 13:53

Oh come on.

I bet the cat did it. Went thieving women's products from around the neighbourhood. It's the only explanation.

diddl · 03/10/2022 13:54

It does suggest an overnight or 2 doesn't it?

Unless she visited when the kids weren't there & left the stuff then?

Did your daughter hear them in the shower/bathroom together I wonder though?

Awful thought.

Would he have his phone on speaker in the ensuite?

Possibly only if he needed his hands free Envy sorry

Original poster
NameChangeHoney · 03/10/2022 13:54

For every one saying how calm I am.
This is the calm before the storm.
I am furious.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 03/10/2022 13:55

Catslovepies · 03/10/2022 12:09

Could he be cross dressing?

That would be my first thought otherwise it seems like he has a very careless mistress to leave so much stuff at your house

diddl · 03/10/2022 13:55

BadNomad · 03/10/2022 13:53

Oh come on.

I bet the cat did it. Went thieving women's products from around the neighbourhood. It's the only explanation.

Not the same but when I was still at home the dog pulled mine & my mum's bras off the washing line & started to bury them!

HoppingPavlova · 03/10/2022 13:55

Would your DH fit into a size 14 top, does he have clipped nails and is he missing hair on part(s) of his body? If so, mystery solved, if not mystery solved.

Booklover3 · 03/10/2022 13:58

OP I get it. I get very calm when the shit hits the fan and everything seems to slow down. Then I get ragey.

rainbowstardrops · 03/10/2022 13:58

Right-e-o Wink

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