AIBU not to want DSD to come to dinner on my day off ?

[Glitterbaba]

Feel awful saying this and know I’ll get some flack .

I have a DSD who I love . She is sassy and fun and comes over Friday nights and most weekends . She is getting older so doesn’t come as much .

I work 4 - 10 hour days so I can have one day off in the week with DS 10 months.

DSD wants to come for dinner on my day off. This means she will arrive at 3pm and then stay until 10pm. My DH will be at work but he works from home. He finishes around 4.45pm.

I feel so bad but I wish she would come on a day: days when I’m at work ( I get home at 6.30) . This Way I could just chill on my day off. DSD is lovely but I’d love to just be able to have a date night with DH that night or slop around .

I know DH will say - make sure your back by 3.30pm as DSD will be here by 3 . Itwill be me entertaining ! We have a good bond and we usually watch films/ cook together and have fun . But I feel it is me that entertains .

Like most teenagers , DSD controls tv, demands a certain dinner and will want full attention to show us dances and hold court about school.

I feel so bad but I just would rather have no one come over on my day off ! We had DSD over today and it was great . It’s not that I don’t love her but as I said- I’d rather she came on an eve I had work so I could keep my one day off chilled .

AIBU????

Then you must learn to say “sorry Becky, Friday really doesn’t work for me. It’s my only day off this week and obviously I want to relax and enjoy time with your dad and little Toby. How’s Tuesday or Wednesday for you?”

I wouldn't say why it didn't work for me. But then, my first approach in this situation would be to be unavailable by being off the premises.

After a few goes, I'd then start to be around but unavailable. Continue the weekend activities etc as you have such a good bond.

That would be, for me, asserting boundaries. Maybe others would be able to do it without the few weeks break in the pattern, not sure that I could.

What a horrible lazy man he is. He will end up with no relationship with his daughter, she is not stupid and she knows he is hiding from her. You are lovely to her OP but she is not learning about boundaries and she may assume that she can be so demanding in all her relationships which will do her no favours.
Also your son cannot grow up witnessing this entitlement. Your horrible DH is watching you get to breaking point and still making more demands. Tell him you are at breaking point, you need to lay down the law - he needs to do his share of housework, of parenting his son and take full responsibility for parenting his daughter. You were not put on this earth to be a skivvy and a nanny for a lazy man.

Dont you have every evening to have date night with DH? Just not on your day off? Take it as an opportunity to take a bath and let them watch films together. How much time do they spend alone without you there?

Yes I get that
Just tell DH that
If he's bothered he can sort something out to work longer one day and collect her from school another

I know DH will say - make sure your back by 3.30pm as DSD will be here by 3 . Itwill be me entertaining ! We have a good bond and we usually watch films/ cook together and have fun . But I feel it is me that entertains

This is a DH problem. Just don't do it.

Can you arrange something for the late afternoon - take baby for coffee with a friend . Announcing DH cooks the meals when she is here. Pop to the gym on a Saturday afternoon?

This is a DH problem. Just don't do it.

This ^

So often on here we read of step mothers who have bent over backwards to facilitate their DSC and only notice how they have been picking up the slick for DH when they have their own DC and something has to give.