To expect this school mum to have paid by now?

[Lewiscapaldiscat]

I sold some of my ds toys to a fellow school mum I know quite well. Not an insignificant amount of money and it belongs to my ds.

she asked for my bank details which I sent, on the day she said she forgot her card reader, would cash be ok, said yes, then she said she’d transfer. All fine. took them to school for her and I haven’t received anything.

i messaged yesterday saying all ok - she replied yes excellent - child is already playing with them and loving them.
I replied great - do you need me to resend my bank details and no response! we agreed the price and confirmed how to pay so no misunderstanding. They are well to do / but little irrelevant since she agreed to pay for them.

im really irritated she could reply saying oh loving them - but not pay or even mention payment - such as oh sorry I forgot or I’ll get it to you now. Nothing - I won’t be able to look at her the same and obviously will chase again for the money but aibu to be so infuriated by this cf behaviour???

She knows she’s got the toys and knows she needs to pay. Anyone that’s not avoiding paying would either have paid or be keeping you updated with any issue with paying. She could be busy, there could be a problem with the payment, whatever, genuine people keep others informed and would feel a bit awkward about it, so would definitely be texting to explain. Scummy chancers ignore any conversation about payment.

Don’t feel uncomfortable, you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve kept to what you’ve said and provided the toys. If there’s no payment and no explanation by tomorrow evening I’d turn up at her house and get the toys back.

I'm making no comment on the person's payment or not. Just that people are talking shit about the transfers

Intelligent Finance - part of Lloyds

The irony is not lost on me @mountainsunsets, but they aren’t part of the DD transfer system either so leaving is complicated.

Again, I often send a screen shot as it’s unusual, but not impossible

Keep pushing for the money or the return of the toys!

I’m with Halifax, it says up to 2 hours but it’s often instant. Regardless, if I had sent the payment and then the person text to day shall I resend bank details, I would say I had sent it. If it had been longer than 2 hours, I’d look into it and keep the person I was trying to paying informed. Because that’s the polite thing to do. This mum hasn’t done that, it sounds like she’s avoiding paying.

Just send a message saying Please can you transfer the money today as it belongs to my son, or if you no longer want the toys, please return them so I can relist them.

Not all payments are instant, for all the people saying that they are, just because your bank does, it doesn't mean they all do. Payments made on a weekend often won't show until Monday and on a bank holiday they don't show until Tuesday.

I paid a friend yesterday and it left the account on 1 Oct, but is dated 3 Oct on my bank statement and the same on hers, but she had the money on 1 Oct. I know with another friend if its dated Sat/Sun then it will not even show until Monday.

With a clients business account, payments don't show until after the weekend, not even as pending.

However, if she had paid then she would have told you that.

OP you aren't a shop, you don't take credit cards and you don't extend credit, so ignore all the crap.

Lesson learned that you only take cash on collection in future, or bank transfer in front of you so you can check it.
If she can't afford them then she should not have taken them the CF.

If it were a stranger I'd want pre payment or proof of payment on the day.

But as its a school mum you "know quite well" I wouldn't get my knickers in a twist until the middle of next week. And I wouldn't necessarily expect her to confirm when the transfer had been made.

I suspect she thinks you're operating from a position of trust. And that she made the payment, or will do this weekend, and it'll be I your bank on Monday.

Similar thing happened to me when I sold one of my kids iPad to a friend. I was never paid, just excuse after excuse. I ended up giving my kid the money as it wasn't their fault that cheeky fucker friend didn't pay. Also caused loads of problems with the kids at school when it all came out. Hopefully your friend will pay you and you don't end up out of pocket.

Nobody knows apart from her. We don't know. Just ask her if she had made the payment.
As you now know always get money up front.

I would message her and say that she needs to return the toys if she isn't going to pay for them so that you can sell them to someone else.

If she had time to respond to a text she had time to send a transfer. Even with a new contact it's a very short task

This 👆🏽👆🏽👆🏽

No that makes a person a CF. You don't do it to shops, why do it to anyone else?

This. No give her a few days or other crap. She either pays or returns tbe toys. These people rely on you feeling too awkward to push it and they have enough brass neck to wait it out.

You gave it her Friday and it's early Sunday..
Friday you can write off if she got home from the school run and had kids to feed etc. Saturday they could have had all day plans like a wedding or DIY. Give her a little more time. Maybe text her Monday.

This mum was in text conversation with the OP about the toys saying her kid was playing with them. As soon as paying for them was mentioned, no reply. Not ‘oh I’m busy, I’ll pay tomorrow’ or ‘I’ve paid, it can take a couple of days to go through’ or ‘actually is it ok if I pay on Wednesday when I’m paid’ or anthing. Just silence. It’s clear she hasn’t paid and is avoiding it. Cheeky fucker.

First paragraph should have been bold as was quoting a pp.

Then you are extremely rude too. Do you do that in shops?

Well, exactly.

All these people arguing "well, the small print says it's not always instant!" are totally missing the point. If you've sent someone money and they text you the next day saying they've not received it, you don't just ignore them "because it's not always instant".

They certainly do

Bank transfers to different banks can take days especially over weekend. I'd wait.

It literally takes on the app, regardless of day of the week! OP isn't arranging it via her branch, that can take days.

"Literally takes seconds" I meant of course.

If I arranged to buy toys I would pay as soon as I got them. Some people are a lot more laid back and I wouldn't chase someone unless it had been about a week. I'd find it uncomfortable to chase so quickly!

I'm curious that she spent £70 on toys at this time of year that weren't being saved for Christmas. Was it arranged that you'd bring them to the playground, or did you just do it? I wonder if they were meant to be a Christmas present that the child saw and now she feels down £70 instead of indebted to you. But if this was only Friday, I think you are being OTT. Give it a week before chasing.

You only gave them to her on Friday! I thought it had been weeks from your OP.

I think so long as she pays by next Friday that would be great.

I'd remind on Tuesday, quite firmly.

(cash next time)

I do all my money management on a Friday. Something like that I would do at the same time. However I would have told the OP that so she would know when to expect it.

(oh and not all banks internet and app based systems are instant. Mine caveats 4 hours for eg)