To expect this school mum to have paid by now?

[Lewiscapaldiscat]

I sold some of my ds toys to a fellow school mum I know quite well. Not an insignificant amount of money and it belongs to my ds.

she asked for my bank details which I sent, on the day she said she forgot her card reader, would cash be ok, said yes, then she said she’d transfer. All fine. took them to school for her and I haven’t received anything.

i messaged yesterday saying all ok - she replied yes excellent - child is already playing with them and loving them.
I replied great - do you need me to resend my bank details and no response! we agreed the price and confirmed how to pay so no misunderstanding. They are well to do / but little irrelevant since she agreed to pay for them.

im really irritated she could reply saying oh loving them - but not pay or even mention payment - such as oh sorry I forgot or I’ll get it to you now. Nothing - I won’t be able to look at her the same and obviously will chase again for the money but aibu to be so infuriated by this cf behaviour???

Must be different in Ireland then.

That's just rude. It's not a business transaction and it should have been cash in the day. The CF had already moved the goalposts.

She is being a CF but I’d wait until tomorrow and check your online banking (mine doesn’t update over the weekend) and if still no payment, you will need to be more direct. I’d say, the money is actually ds’ as they were his toys so please could you pay the £70 - might shame her into sorting it out!

Such rude behaviour. You wouldn't do that in a shop.

Bank transfer takes seconds.

Exactly this.

All banks will have a small print as, like you say, it covers them if there's an issue with the receiving bank, or if the system goes down. It doesn't mean transfer routinely take several days.

Besides, if I'd sent someone money and they hadn't received it, I would take a screenshot of the transfer details and send it over as proof, I wouldn't just ignore them.

It doesn't mean transfer routinely take several days.

No but it does mean that every poster saying that it's always instant and would definitely have happened the way it always happens for them is talking out their arse

She said she would pay Friday when she got home / if she had sent it why would t you reply saying so when chasing up! I’m obviously very polite in the messages.

I have sent a reminder just asking them to pop it across today with details. Message has been received and read. There were no communication issues arranging wanting the items. She is disorganised as sin but for me you take it you pay for it. I am surprised though as she is always lovely - to not even get a I’ll sort it type message.

Yes I would? It's called paying on a credit card and paying the balance in a week or two..... Managing cash flows is absolutely a thing. In business invoices generally have 30 days to pay?
OP it's been a day. My friends and I aren't short of money so stuff like this often gets left a few days because we are all aware none of us 'needs' the money as such and will hardly notice whether the money goes in our account the same day or in a week. I think your friend probably doesn't realise that you are relying on that money - which you clearly are or you wouldn't be fussing over the payment in this way. It's quite obvious that you are worrying the money won't be paid at all, and for that to be more than a minor annoyance suggests you do need it. Otherwise this would be a shrug of the shoulders and a 'lesson learned, won't sell anything to her again' thing. Most people wouldn't consider the money sold from old toys as 'belonging to the child' either - did he pay for them out of his wages in the first place?!

Eek to £70. I’m not sure what more you can do though.

What toys did you sell her worth £70?! For that value I wouldn't have sold to a friend where this sort of situation could arise, I'd have sold on FB or similar as 'cash on collection' and simply not handed the stuff over without the money. It's not worth getting into financial transactions with friends unless you can afford to lose the money.

Or they're just speaking from experience.

I have never, in over a decade of receiving instant payments, waited longer than 30 seconds for money to hit my account. Yes, I accept there are rare circumstances that might mean it takes longer, but it's still incredibly unlikely.

I'm on the fence I think because people have different attitudes to money. I do think people should pay upfront and that it's the right thing to do and I always would. But amongst my friends we would be very relaxed about it. I probably wouldn't even bother to check as I know they'd be good for it at some point.

If I hadn't paid I would be embarrassed if someone chased me. Both for myself (I would feel awful I hadn't paid it) and for the person chasing (I think I would really cringe if a friend chased after only a day). I do think she should have responded straight away though. And as I said before she should have paid upfront.

One other point though...I'm sure the toys are absolutely worth the money. But you aren't out of pocket (i.e. in minus money until she pays up). You have made a profit from selling toys you don't want. If I paid £70 for some stuff a friend no longer needed anyway I'd actually feel like I was doing them a favour. That may sound very wrong to some people but if I feel that way then there must be some others out there who might view it this way too (and therefore not feel pressure to be so quick about it). As I said, people view money very differently.

£70 …
id not of let that amount of stuff go with out the money
I bet she’s planning on saying she can’t afford it all ,circumstances have changed ,blah blah blah
be amazed if u actually do get the full amount

If it was Friday just wait until Tuesday . She will most likely do it on Monday.

Perhaps they need to move into the 2020s!

@mountainsunsets not if your bank doesn’t do transfers out of hours. Your experience isn’t that complete!

Doesnt mean a message shouldn’t tell the OP. I always say ‘my bank is crap’ the FPS can take 24hours. Simple

If I paid £70 for some stuff a friend no longer needed anyway I'd actually feel like I was doing them a favour.

Wow. OP, take note. CF school mum is doing you a favour. Perhaps that’s why she hasn’t paid?

Or they're just speaking from experience.

No. It means they are all completely wrong. It doesn't matter if it happens that way 99.9% of times. Every single bank specifies that it may take a while and there's because sometimes it does.

Some people are just like this. I have a friend and she is lovely, but I've learned not to pay things out on her behalf as it's a long time coming back.

Pre covid I booked and paid for a group holiday, everyone else paid the balance almost before I asked, but I had to remind her again when my credit card was due. My other friend also said she'd had the same thing happened, but she is absolutely good for the money just not prompt at paying.She'd feel absolutely awful though to know that she'd caused any problems, it's just a different attitude to debt.

Hopefully this DM is the same.

I've never heard of a single bank in 2022 that doesn't do instant transfers as standard, regardless of what time of day it is. Which ones don't, out of curiosity?

My clients belong to a variety of banks - HSBC, Nationwide, Natwest, Starling, Lloyds - and all are able to send/receive instant payments at any time of day or night.

But if that was the case and you'd send the money, wouldn't you message the person and send proof?

The people saying "oh it's only been a day"
So what ?
It takes 30 seconds to do a bank transfer
No excuses
The time she room to respond to OP she could of paid her.

*the time she took