DD's friends "fancy" DH

[Dollydea]

DD is in year 8, it's her birthday next month and she's having a sleepover with 5 of her mates from school.
The issue is, according to DD then DH has apparently developed a little fan club consisting of a few school friends who apparently think he's "fit" one of her friends who's slept over in the past found his Facebook and a few of his profile pics have been passed around the classroom so the others can decide if he's "fit" or not.
DH was mortified when she was telling us in the car earlier and has said he's staying at a friends house the night of the sleepover as he wouldn't feel comfortable being around them.

Am I wrong in thinking he's being stupid and overthinking it far too much? They'll be in her bedroom the majority of the time not like they'll be sat downstairs watching tv with us etc.

If I'd known I was gonna be left alone with 6 of them then I wouldn't of agreed to so many staying over but it's too late to cut down on numbers now.

Not sure whether to tell him to stop being stupid or just suck it up and let him stay at his friends house for the night?

Absolutely this. There have been instances of peoples lives being ruined through things like this.

He and your daughter are in agreement that he'd rather not be there and if it were me I would also much rather he wasn't.

Lol at the naivety of @ElectedOnThursday 😂😂 actually laughing out loud!

😂
"Horribly constipated"
Love this

I can absolutely see why he's uncomfortable. More so that he isn't her dad although even if he was I'd not blame him for. It putting himself on that situation. Parents will probably be happier if they get wind of any of it too.

My teenage daughter has Jeff Goldblum as her phone screen saver so I don’t think it’s a stretch for them to fancy a 32 year old!

We had a handsome young form tutor at secondary school who lots of the girls fancied, he was probably only early to mid 20s looking back though.

Likely that it takes him out of the dad zone and makes it even more attractive. The amount of step parent porn about it's a very popular fantasy (and yes unfortunately 14 year olds access porn).

Yuk to the poster who's partner would get an ego boost. That's seriously creepy!

Likely that it takes him out of the dad zone and makes it even more attractive.

Eh? It's the friends who have the crush. Not the stepdaughter. She's embarrassed by it all.

I think your DHs approach is a sensible one. Allegations or false rumours can cause a great deal of harm.

I know. I meant in the friends eyes

That wouldn't be step-parent fantasies then. It's just normal hormonal teenagers noticing the men around them for the first time.

@liveforsummer

I know. I meant in the friends eyes

What's that got to do with step dad fantasies then?

Because he's not an actual (bio) dad which they likely associate with being old and a bit boring

I can see his point re wanting to be away due to the risk of rumours and the concern of them giggling over him, etc.

But why should he now be around in his own home just because there are girls sleeping over? Dd often had groups of friends to stay. Dh never left me home alone all night when they came. That would have been strange if he had. He was just as capable of preparing food and drinks, etc as me!

I think you are right to decide together that he stays at his brothers. Too risky with over imaginative potentially dramatic teenagers and parents who might believe every word!

When I was 13 we fancied teachers. Some boys really fancied one of their friend's mums and used to say some really gross stuff about her. It's happened since the dawn of time. People also look a lot better in their 40s than they did years ago, so it's really not beyond the realms of possibility for them to fancy him.

Late 20s isn't late 30s

This is funny. I remember a lot of girls having a crush on younger looking friends dad. Harmless but yes let him stay elsewhere away from silly hormonal teenagers

@TheLassWiADelicateAir my dd is y8 she's 13 in august so 12 and 13.

I agree with him!

Teenagers can be mean and girls are the worse! It would only take one of them to make up a story at school about that night and he would be in trouble… I think he is being wise staying away… 🤷‍♀️

I used to think sexual things about some of the teachers at my school at that age. Lots of celebrities I fancied were over the age of 30, some way over 40. I remember my friend loved Alan Rickman, she was 12 and he was 60!

I remember the local railway bridge used to have graffiti in felt pen from local school kids ''Mr L is fit'' ..Mr L was indeed handsome in a conventional way.
DS used to say the girls {probably aged 14} would say ''Mr L and Mr S'' are sooo fit!'' but it was harmless.

The teachers were probably oblivious, unless they too passed through the railway bridge.
@Dollydea I think your husband is very wise to stay well out of the way.

Indeed.
Far better safe than sorry.

We had a French student teacher..He was gorgeous! He too was likely only 5 yrs older than us.

This thread has been quite revealing. I'm not from the UK and have never come across this with my school aged peers. It would have been seen as disgusting for someone to have a crush on anyone over about 25 (pop stars/actors not included!), much less somebody's father. I agree that he should take himself off since he feels uncomfortable with the whole thing

Oh god. He's probably sensible getting out of the way.

In this day and age imagine if one of them gets carried away, and makes something up to show off to her classmates.

It could end really badly. I think he's wise.