My DC missing for 4 hours after school.!!

[Highfivemum]

had no intention of putting this up for discussion but after call today I am livid and would like some opinions
so my DC summer born started high school beginning of the month. Just 11 so young in year. He catches the coach from our village and has done this since he started. All fine up until yesterday when he was not on the coach when I waited for it after school. Tried his phone and it was turned off. Frantic drive to school with other DC and he was no where to be found. School did not have a clue where he was. Caretaker and head teacher called back into school ( they had both left premises when I got there) they both insisted he got the coach etc as all year 7 were taken to the coach stop at rear of school and escorted on the coach. For info it is a small high school. And only runs 3 coaches to surrounding villages.
Cutting a long story short that seemed like days for me my DC was discovered to be on another coach and was in another village, sitting by the coach stop. We eventually were reunited over 4 hours later.
my DC was distraught. He said his teacher let them out of lessons late and took three Dc to the back of the school and put them all on the same coach. This was the only coach left at school as the others had left. He said no time to collect their phones from the office. This was the wrong coach. When the coach arrived at its final destination my DC who was to upset to say anything got of the coach ,And there he sat till the error was discovered and we collected him.
the school today have said my son was at fault and he should have spoke to the driver and not got off the coach.,,, yes I get that but they have not admitted any mistake with the staff at all.
I am livid. Am I being unreasonable. What would anyone else think/ do. My DH took our DC to school today as they didn’t want to go.

Gosh how scary for you.

This is a massive safeguarding issue and should be flagged with the board of governors if the SLT won’t take responsibility. Go through the correct complaints procedure for the school though.

oh bless him, and how scary for you. I would have been scared too. The school need to admit it was their faut. Just an apology would go a long way to smoothing things over.
For the future your ds needs to be absolutely confident about which bus he has to get on. He also needs to develop the confidence to speak up when something is wrong.

He will get there. Just give him lots of reassurance for now.

Thank you for your response. I was livid today with the response. No responsibility by the school whatsoever. I can’t blink for thinking of my DC sitting by the side of the road so scared.

Thank you. All the buses are the same. They have no numbers. But park in order of that makes sense. He said the teacher rushed them out and said jump on before it goes. The other two DC who got on with him we’re fine as it was their bus. What really got me was the totally lack of understanding by the school. He is 11. And a young 11. If a teacher tells him to do something he does it.

I'd go through both the teacher and the principal for a shortcut. How very fucking dare they. This wouldn't have happened if the silly teacher hadn't kept them late knowing there were phones to collect and buses to catch. Board of Governors, definitely.

YABNU. Yes I agree you need to complain to the school. I am a teacher, and the teacher who let them get on the wrong coach did a number of things they should not have done, from a safeguarding perspective. They shouldn’t have let them out so late that they missed the school bus. Having let them out late, what were they thinking putting them all on the same bus, without even checking it was the right one? Your son is not at fault, if the teacher let them out so late that they missed the school bus, parents should have been contacted, with the students waiting in the office until they could be collected. It would be completely different if these buses were not school buses, but regular buses, students can get a later bus. But given that school buses exist, there must not be alternative local public transport, so it’s the schools responsibility to make sure students can get on those buses.

He must of been so worried. That's awful. My daughter is eleven and just started secondary. I'd go nuclear at the school but I'm sure someone more sensible will have a better solution. Give him loads of hugs. How sad. What an oversight.

Do you know the name of the teacher involved?

Rightly or wrongly I'd be contacting the HT naming names and asking for an apology from that person making it quite clear to them the results of their actions. It might make them think twice when it happens again

Accidents and mistakes happen but the school definitely need to own them. This is on the basis though that the story you've been told is correct

Do the chilren not have Bus passes, ime the drivers are quite hot on checking them.

It is absolutely the adults responsibility! I can't believe they're blaming an 11yo that's been at the school a matter of weeks to tell a teacher they're wrong and refuse to do what they're told.

My daughter got off on the wrong stop on her second day, luckily she had her phone to call me and had find friends. Not that this helps you now but in future?

I'm really sorry you and your child had a scary experience, and happy to hear it turned out okay.

However unless this is a special needs school (which you haven't mentioned) I'm absolutely astounded that year 7s are escorted to the coach and not trained in all the realistic "what you do if xyz" s.

My children have been catching school buses from age 6 and then from age 10 public transport and it's always been on the children to get on the right bus. We taught and rehersed from the start what to do if you miss the bus, get on the wrong bus or get off at the wrong stop, and between the three of them they'd unintentionally tried out all the contingency plans successfully at some point.

My youngest is 11 and the idea anyone would need to put him on the right bus is quite alien - he's very much responsible for getting on the right bus and has been from his first day at secondary (when he was 10 and a half as we're non UK - different school system). The public buses he catches stop at a row of stops in front of a different secondary school 500 meters from his - that school has over a thousand pupils aged 10-18 as does his school (so over 2000 total) and at least 20 buses leave from the bus stops within the 10-15 minutes after school finishes.

tldr: I think children need to be equipped with the skills and contingency plans to deal with these types of situation by age 11.

I'd be raising hell - absolutely shocking! Gosh how awful for all of you xx

Absolutely the school's fault. What the hell was that teacher doing dumping all the kids on the bus just because it was the only one still there? And why did the teacher let them out so late that they missed the bus in the first place?
He's 11, in a new school and of course is going to assume that the teacher, who is in a position of authority, knows what they're doing.
Huge safeguarding fail.

Just as a comparison - recently experienced a new Y12 at a very large sixth form college who had missed the bus home (10 miles away). Site staff saw them, scooped them up, took them to office staff, who helped the student charge their phone, called a taxi on the college account and waited with them until the taxi arrived. That’s at 16! The lack of care at 11 is appalling.

An idea for the future is to put an apple AirTag in his balder pocket. Then you can find him if he ever gets lost again.

I understand you’re upset with school, but having worked in secondary schools kids are left to it right from year 7. No-one puts them on buses at the school I work in, they have to manage it all themselves.

*blazer

Given that school buses exist at this school, there’s unlikely to be local public transport available. Secondary schools in areas with public transport to and from the villages they serve, don’t have school buses.

I'd be changing schools

the school passes have not been issued yet. It is not a special needs school but due a previous issue with a child getting hit by a bus they escort them till the first term so the DC know exactly where to walk and what to do ( the rear of school is on a busy junction )

School are 100% at fault and this could have so easily ended in tragedy. I think people forget how young 11 really is.

I agree, as a teacher, that this is on the school.

The school buses where I work wait a good 10 minutes after the end of the school day, so it's not as if they fly off instantly. The teacher must have kept them a good while.

There also should have been a conversation with the driver to check the children were getting on the right bus if there was room for doubt. And arrangements should have been made once they realised your son's bus had gone. I can't fathom why they didn't check!

I agree.

Given that school buses exist at this school, there’s unlikely to be local public transport available. Secondary schools in areas with public transport to and from the villages they serve, don’t have school buses.

This isn't accurate. In my LA at least, school transport is provided for all students in catchment who live more than three miles away or do not have a safe route. There is (admittedly not world beating) public transport available which many students use for after school clubs.

I would hit the roof over this !!!!