Ending relationship because he is too tight?

[Lucasmamax]

I’ve been dating someone for a few months and we get on well. However he is extremely tight! He is a property landlord and owns just over 80 properties.

he is constantly going on about the cost of living and gas and electric it’s exhausting. Won’t take me to a nice hotel or nothing he will not pay over £70 for a hotel!

he continually takes me to crappy cheap Chinese restaurants.

His house is beautiful but full of crappy old furniture but then he has super flash cars.

I’m over it! Usually when I start dating someone it’s fun. Weekends away nice meals out you know the honey moon period. But this is miserable and everything we do consists around the price.

Now how do I call this off without sounding like some kind of goldigger?

Dump him. Meanness is deeply unattractive. Thankfully not a trait my husband has, but my father in law was incredibly stingy, and treated mother in law quite appallingly (she never knew how much he earned, he wouldn't tell her), financially abusive in my opinion.

But if it's a new relationship it's normal to try new things , maybe including going to a spa . He sounds really tight , which is so unattractive.

Of course, that's assuming he's told you the truth ! Could it all be made up?

But then he'll have lied to you, which isn't attractive either....

Yes, get rid.

But why on earth should he pay for you and your son?

he even mentioned the price of the microwave rice he usually buys has gone up by 9p!

It's one thing to be careful with money if you don't have a lot but there's nothing worse than a miser. Dump him. Just say it's not working for you or that you think you have different values.

I didn't get past the first paragraph
Owns over 80 properties. Urggghhh
Get rid

Op I am on your side, feel like if you had a baby together he'd be the type to let you be akint on mat wage and him conceal his money incase you try to 'take it'

Why on earth should I be offering to pay for us to go away. I’ll pay for myself that’s it.

Self respect?

Your dates all seem to involve spending money. Has it ever occurred to you to book something yourself or do one of the many things you can do for free?

You haven't said anything about this man except how much money he has and how you think he should spend more of it on you. Not one word about his character, what you do like about him, how you met, nothing.

You're either a golddiger or a troll. Do him a favour and leave him for someone who isn't in it for how much they can get spent on them.

May I ask what first attracted you to him?

I wouldn't think twice about ending it.

At this time in the relationship, it should be lovely. Every conversation about doing something shouldn't come back to money....when he's a millionaire.

This is such typical mumsnet haha.

Op if thuis post is genuine you aren't a gold digger, plenty of people with far far less money go to nicer places than Chinese buffets on occasion.

Not enjoying life because your extremely tight boyfriend doesn't want to spend a few quid is a miserable existence. I'd completely understand if he had money worries, or you were expecting him to fund endless expensive meals and holidays, but as it stands he just doesn't want to do anything. I've dated men just like this.

He likes having money more than he likes spending time with you. Bin him he's a miserable old miser.

You can be asset rich and cash poor.

He is clearly well off but it doesn't always translate to money in your pocket.

When you've had to penny pinch it's a hard mindset to change. You seem to live a very decent standard of life on 26k. I'd find your level of extravagance too much for a new relationship.

Like others say, it's a different way of looking at life but if it doesn't fit with you then you may as well call it quits as it's a fundamental incompatibility.

Hmmmm..

OP I had one like this. 49 properties (almost his age apparently), flash cars. Only a couple of kids. Tight as fuck.

One afternoon I got a call from the police asking if I'd ever lent him money. Turned out he was a HUUUUUUGE conman, was doing the same to a number of women, had way more kids than he'd told me, cars on loan. Ended up in prison for fraud.

I wouldn't believe he has 80 properties and be living in squalor and tight.

Red flags all over this one op, bin him.

This^^. You’re not compatible and money will become a constant bone of contention between you- better to end it now.

I’d be honest and tell him that you’ve decided to end it, because you have different goals and outlooks on life. If he asks what you mean, tell him that you like to go out to nice places, nice holidays, etc. and he doesn’t, so you know it won’t work long term.

It’s not a criticism, you’re just too different.

Nothing less attractive than a miser.

DH is a spendthrift and honestly, it's bloody miserable at times.

Be honest, you found out he was minted expected ‘nice hotels and weekends away’ that he would pay for and that didn’t materialise - you’ve ONLY been taken to the pub and some Chinese restaurants and you resent it.
You were expecting to be ‘wooed’ and it didn’t happen .

Being ‘tight’ with money wouldn’t be an issue for me, as I hate to waste money too and it’s his money so he can do what he wants with it.

He wouldn’t be a millionaire if he wasn’t sensible with his money.

But the constant moaning would be a absolute dealbreaker for me.

She won’t be doing those things unless the other person pays.

so she should write “you aren’t taking me out to those places so I’m not going to fuck you”.

Just say it has been nice knowing him, but it's not working for you. Then give me his number.

80 properties doesnt mean you are well off, in fact due to landlord taxation changes you could be losing money, the could all be mortgaged up to the hilt

Are you sure that he has any cash? The past 3-4 years many landlords have been dumping buy to let as they are losing so much money.

thats why he owns that many properties. He understands the value of money

Wow!
You sound very entitled tbh

Acts of kindness and treating a partner as an equal are part of being in a relationship.

You clearly need a sugar daddy!

Well done for not sticking around.

No fuss.

Just text that you are not suited and good luck.

Why do you know he has 80 houses after a few months.

He sounds miserable and mean.

Don't look back.

He sounds like a bragger which I hate. Just end it with a friendly text.

Absolutely this.