To think Mumsnet only tolerates a tiny age bracket for women to have children

[Crumpetandbutter]

Teens - Forget it.

Twenties - No. You should be partying, travelling and living the high life, preferably in London.

Early thirties (30-32) you should be building your career.

32-35 - probably acceptable. Many feel 32/33 on the young side.

35-38 - just tolerated. Many feel 37/38 is on the old side.

38+ no. You will die, have a child with disabilities and really how selfish. (If you can have one at all, that is.)

Disclaimer, I think the above is bollocks.

Have a baby when you want to have one.

"Mumsnet" does nothing. It's not a hive mind. You get all sorts of opinions on here.

It’s a middle class hegemony. I had mine in my twenties and forties and eyebrows were raised slightly for both batches.

Forties is probably becoming more normalised but twenties less so.

I don't think that is the case at al

Oh don't be silly

Personally haven't seen what you described on here. Only thing I'll say is that as someone who had twins at 24 I was surprised by some of the comments I received (not on here but in my own life)

Particularly the dreaded "babies having babies" bullshit. I own my home, am married and both DH and I make good money. We're hardly babies!

all My family and friends had babies in late teens or 20s ….so I consider 30 old even for 2nd or 3rd babies…..it’s very normal where I live….but I know that’s not what’s considered the norm on MN

Nonsense. There is a huge range of views on MN, because there is a huge range of people. Some of them have actually been teenage mothers or had babies in their late 30s or early 40s. Presumably absolutely shedloads of them had babies in their 20s and early 30s.

Did you mean 'AIBU to think that there are some people on MN who think the ideal time to have a baby is probably in your early to mid 30s'? If so, obviously YANBU, but you should have phrased it that way.

I was 28 when I had my first and 32 when I had my second and certainly didn’t feel judged on here or in real life, no one said a thing.

Disclaimer, I think the above is bollocks.

Which it is, so YABU to title the thread the way you did.

I disagree with you, but I DO think women should stop having babies at 35-37. JMHO. (And men too of course.) Far better to have them young than errr ... NOT young.

The only ‘person’ who does that is Mother Nature ( unless you count the extremely ancient IVF in India and Romania stories)

What on earth are you talking about?

Spot on, OP.

You should also be earning a 6 figure salary before you even think about having a child.

Yabu.

I had my first at 22 my second at 28 and have expressed that for me, 33 felt to old to have more. I was done.

Never had a comment all on any of those things when I mentioned them.Theres quite a few women here who have had kids 40 and over.

YANBU

I’ve seen similar on here, and there’s always the mentality that if you’re not earning 6 figures, you can’t afford children. or if you own a 2 bed house and want to try for your first baby, it’s irresponsible because you can have multiples at once so you can’t afford to house a child, etc

All comments about parents in late thirties/early forties are basically that we're decrepit, won't be able to play on the floor due to our creaky knees and will die in 4 year's time because we're all so ancient leaving our children motherless. How could you do that. Think of the children.

I've had my children at 30 and 32 so no personal offence taken, but you realise it's only since the contraceptive revolution that women haven't, until recently, had later babies? Lots of women used to have a last baby or two in their forties.

And all said by people who are knackered because they had children in their 20s. That’s why you feel wiped out at 30 - parenting! We’re just coming to it later.

And our children will be mortified by our wizened faces at the school gates.

This.

Ive mostly lived on the border between NI and ROI and until this generation - religious influences meant very large numbers of women had kids until they couldn't any more - early 40s for most, mid 40s for some.

Oh yes. I fully see this both on here and IRL.
I was 27 when I had our eldest and 28 when I had youngest and that is grossly unusual in our social circles and was only really ‘accepted’ and not commented on because DH is older than me, the ‘acceptable parent age’, quite successful, and was openly the driving force behind us having kids, so obviously that made it fine.

Im pretty much a teen mum in our area though 😂but it’s obviously fine because I ‘sacrificed my youth to give my broody DH his dream’ honestly don’t know what’s worse!

(that’s not actually how it happened but that’s how they think it went)

See that’s so weird because where I am having children in your 20’s is the norm and anything over 30 is OLD!

Must depend heavily on location.

About 50 years ago when I was a child, I overheard my mum talking to someone about a new friend she had met. I remember my mum saying that this lady had married late in life
The lady in question had married aged 32 🤣

all my family had kids whilst in their teens bar 1, it's like an inescapable curse 😂