To think Mumsnet only tolerates a tiny age bracket for women to have children

[Crumpetandbutter]

Teens - Forget it.

Twenties - No. You should be partying, travelling and living the high life, preferably in London.

Early thirties (30-32) you should be building your career.

32-35 - probably acceptable. Many feel 32/33 on the young side.

35-38 - just tolerated. Many feel 37/38 is on the old side.

38+ no. You will die, have a child with disabilities and really how selfish. (If you can have one at all, that is.)

Disclaimer, I think the above is bollocks.

Have a baby when you want to have one.

Sorry didn't mean to talk about you in my posts as an abstract.

Nonsense. Mn doesn't sprout this.

But personally I don't believe a young person under 16 should be having a child.

And I don't believe they should unless they can support them / pay for them, so probably best to develop career / job before children.

The fact that in about 10 to 12 years time they will very likely be absolutely fucked energy wise, they will be menopausal, and are going to probably start to develop physical health problems. I'm sorry, but although some people say they are as healthy as a 17 year old in their mid to late 50s, (and older,) the fact is that most people will start to develop certain physical health problems when they pass the age of 50.

Some do, some don't.
I started windsurfing in my early 50s when I got fed up watching young teenaged DD from the shore, and got more into sailing.

Why on earth would you be too old for teenagers in your 50s? Are the people saying this very unfit or unhealthy? DH is 55 and we have a 10 year old. He is a full involved father who is full on energy. We've both lost families members who were in there 30s so age doesn't bother us.

I've not got that impression at all.

I've seen nothing but supportive posts for young mums asking for advice. Older mums also get equal support.

I guess if people were asked to give their opinion on the ideal time to have a baby, the 30s age group would likely be the most popular for the reasons you've given. It doesn't mean that, that's the only time though or that only mums in their 30s are supported.

Sometimes.

I haved noticed pp's feel the need to explain their reasoning behind the choices and at times they put the boot in on anyone who has done it differently.

I’m basically a child bride in my village (south east). Married at 25 and first child at 28. Most of my peer group are still dating well into their 30s and quite a few have said they will remain child-free.

Where I live in my NCT group I was the 3rd youngest at 38
The youngest of the group moved and although only 2 years older she became the oldest by a decade in the group she joined.
One of the women who was a year older than me had 4 children between the ages of 39-45.

There's a big difference between dealing with elderly parents at 50 and dealing with that at 25-35 which was my experience. It's very hard. Having your immediate family shrink to almost nothing when you're still young is awful.

In OK then, mine were 33 and 38, I had no babies between 35-37.

How old are you?

Zimmer frame at 50?

You're not going to be one of those people who get old before their time are you?

It's also fortunate that you met someone reasonable to have kids with in your 20s and didn't have huge fertility issues. I'd rather be an older Mom than not one.

You're not going to be one of those people who get old before their time are you?

seems like you're one of those people who doesn't understand sarcasm.

Where I live in my NCT group I was the 3rd youngest at 38

That is probably normal at a NCT group.

OP there'll be countless posters agreeing with the mid 30's on bracket as it's assumed to be the MC way of doing it.

Some might think that the MC fulfilled their personal needs first and others might assume they want it all.

Generally DC are born to younger DM'S in WC areas, not because it is wrong but life progression is different if they haven't attended uni they get married younger.

A lot of my peers from secondary school married their teenage boyfriend by 23 DC by 25.

Most returned to education as the DC grew

There are so many beautiful children mistreated everyday, as long as they're provided with love, protection, food and heat their parents age is irrelevant.

There are shit parents in all age brackets.

It's a class thing. 😅

(Mind you, cardis at 50ish is a real thing because one thing the menopause can do is muck up your temperature regulation a bit. Has very little to do with one's ability to parent youngsters though, apart from teenage DD sometimes nicking mine)

Oh sorry 😂.

I have the most sarcastic Husband ever, so don't know how I missed that.

I definitely think MN is down on older mums. Every time someone posts to ask whether they should TTC at 40+, there are endless comments about how cruel it is to impose an old mum on your child, as if it's so dreadful to have an older mum that it's literally better not to have been born. Also a load of ageist and ableist stuff which, taken to it's logical conclusion, would suggest that noone with any sort of health condition or disability should be having kids either 🙄

You forget that for a lot of people who didn’t have children till there late 30s/40s have spent the previous 2 decades climbing the career ladder, travelling and generally having no responsibility so don’t come at parenting in their late 30s/40s with a jaded attitude.
I had one at primary school and 1 who had just started senior school at the age of 50.
I am in my 60s now and am physically as fit or fitter that some people who are younger than me. I do a very physically demanding job, I drive a big van. (I have a HGV licence) Today I loaded a load of rubble from the floor screed I took up into my car and took it down the tip and managed to do 2 trips before being stopped for the day.
I am removing a false ceiling this afternoon and will be plastering a wall going into the evening time.

How many 20/30/40/50 year olds will be doing that.

Just because you are knackered doesn’t mean others are the same.

Friend’s dc was only just starting reception when she was 50.

She is a marathon runner.

Life would get very boring if everyone had to start winding down at 50.
You could have another 50 years to go. There is only so much winding down you can do. Especially if you are pinging off the walls and your mind is active.

Lol at 50 being old.

I know a few people who had perfectly healthy babies at 45+

Of course it is possible if you are physically and mentally fit and all your bits are in working order. Why not go for it.

If nothing happens then at least you tried.

The parents I know who had children with additional needs were all in their 20s/early 30s

Friend’s dc was only just starting reception when she was 50.
For a planned pregnancy through choice no infertility issues that is madness no matter how much money you have.

By starting work at 16 and by remaining in work throughout uni, I was in a great career and in a new house by 25. Great time to have kids. SAHM then was back in work by 35. Being a younger parent means having more energy and I seem to enjoy parenthood more than it is fashionable to admit. I don't know why others whinge about it so much.

Haven’t seen much solid reasoning against being an older mum on here. Just a load of judgement, which MN is full of. Reasons for having your kids older can include:

• Finding the right partner later in life (much better than having kids in a shit relationship that then breaks up)
• financial security
• being very well adjusted mentally (might be a personal thing but I was a bit of a fuck-head until I reached late-30s)
• no resentment at missing out on travel, culture, partying etc
• really wanting to have a child and committing fully to everything that requires

I’m basically really happy with everything and am a WAY better parent than I would have been when I was 10yrs younger. I’m not saying this is better for everyone at all and I have no judgement for whenever you have your baby. Just sticking my middle finger up to anyone who thinks what I am doing is wrong (unless you work in obstetrics).

I honestly think age matters very little when you consider all the other aspects of choosing the correct time to get pregnant.

For example I think a 40 year old in good health, a stable and loving relationship and who has a good career is probably better suited to becoming a mum than a 28 year old with a rubbish financial situation and an 'on again off again' relationship status....

Your individual readiness to enter motherhood matters more than age.