To think Mumsnet only tolerates a tiny age bracket for women to have children

[Crumpetandbutter]

Teens - Forget it.

Twenties - No. You should be partying, travelling and living the high life, preferably in London.

Early thirties (30-32) you should be building your career.

32-35 - probably acceptable. Many feel 32/33 on the young side.

35-38 - just tolerated. Many feel 37/38 is on the old side.

38+ no. You will die, have a child with disabilities and really how selfish. (If you can have one at all, that is.)

Disclaimer, I think the above is bollocks.

Have a baby when you want to have one.

cuppasoupmonster
social risk? It’s a social phenomenon.
we are all living 20 years longer due to the wonders of medicine. Which is having an astronomically impact sociologically and financially. And this is a good thing.
But women choosing to have children later in life (and indeed everyone having fewer children which is all part of the same bundle of life choices) is a bad thing???

Unless you can explain better the sociological risk and how this outweighs the sociological benefit you are spouting guff to support your highly judgemental stance and, sadly, proving OPs point.

The fabric of our society changed when effective contraception became widely available and as women gained more equality in education and employment and it became possible for them to be financially independent. Also as medical treatment advanced and fertility treatment became available. People becoming parents at a later stage in life is a result of various changes in the way society functions, not the other way round.
These days, life expectancy continues to increase, the age of retirement is gradually rising and it makes sense that not everyone has their kids at the same age.
The planet is also massively overpopulated so people having fewer children is perhaps not a bad thing.
Maybe what constitutes “the village “ has simply changed since families with two incomes and high earning single parents can afford access to professional childcare.
In the past, taking care of elderly parents was a burden that often fell unfairly to women who had no option but to take responsibility, not just for their own relatives but their husbands too.
There may be pitfalls in the way that society functions nowadays but the good old days were not perfect either. Particularly for women.

It does make you wonder about the other widespread MN phenomenon of free childcare from grandparents, for example.

If we progress to the point where 40 is the normal age to have children, grandparents will become scarce.

but you realise it's only since the contraceptive revolution that women haven't, until recently, had later babies? Lots of women used to have a last baby or two in their forties
And many hated it!
My nan said she wanted to throw her self in the canal when she found out she was pregnant at 46. My mums aunt was pregnant at 49 and felt ashamed. However these women were expected to have sex with their husbands and had little choice about contraception. (Both ladies would be around 115 if they were still alive)

Why do you say that she wasn’t healthier and fitter than others at the school gate.
She was 50 not 40 and ran marathons.

How many others mothers were there in her child’s class who could run 26 miles.

I am in my 60s and am definitely physically fitter than my friends who are anything between 10- 20 years younger than me.

@notacooldad

If a woman of any age feels she doesn’t want to continue with her pregnancy she shouldn’t have to. I think for most of us that’s a no brainer.

But that’s not what the thread is about.

I was pregnant at 17, had DC at 18. It's not something I'd encourage because most 18 year olds are not earning enough to support a child without relying heavily on benefits. I was no exception, and of course DC's dad didn't stick around.

I wouldn't be critical of it though, I'd be a hypocrite if I was.

Why?

If a woman of any age feels she doesn’t want to continue with her pregnancy she shouldn’t have to. I think for most of us that’s a no brainer.

But that’s not what the thread is about
I know that but I was respondingvtobsimeone elses comment about both control being a relatively new thing. I was saying yes older people did have late pregnancies but it wasnt something that was always welcomed.
But to add to your comment about not continuing with a pregnancy if they dont want to that is not always the case for many different reasons.

Of course, and frankly I'd feel similar but that might be because like those ladies I have done my time having babies. If I were pregnant for the first time with a longed for child, I might feel differently.

Of course, and frankly I'd feel similar but that might be because like those ladies I have done my time having babies. If I were pregnant for the first time with a longed for child, I might feel differently.
I'm not sure why I'm being tagged into your opinion about this but I was answering a while ago to a specific point regarding contraception.
Personally I dont give two hoots when women have their kids. I had mine when it suited me.

Yes, you were quoting my original post and I was replying directly to your response?

I'm not sure why I'm being tagged into your opinion about this but I was answering a while ago to a specific point regarding contraception.
Personally I dont give two hoots when women have their kids. I had mine when it suited me

Yes, you were quoting my original post and I was replying directly to your response?
Oops sorry about that. You can see the time I posted was late, I'd only just got back from a night out involving a lotof alcohol. I lost the point I wanted to say!🤣

As many people have said there is no consensus, no hive mind opinion on which we all agree. There are people (pause for dramatic effect) that aren't even sure on the whole kids thing at all.

It's like skirt length, you just have to go with what feels right to you and there is no length that isn't too short for some people or too long for others and often the same skirt is too short for some people and too long for others.