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AIBU?

To not want this woman on my street "helping" with my bins every week?

227 replies

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 13:38

A woman on my street (about 5 doors away - don't know her name, she doesn't even say hello if she sees me) rushes out to put all the neighbours' bins back after the binmen have been. (Not sure how many other houses she does but it's not just mine.) I don't like it because she goes into my drive to do it and she can see into my house through the window. It just feels unnecessary and intrusive. I'm guessing she wants to be helpful and clear the pavement for others and thinks we are all to slow putting them back. Would it be ungracious to pop out and tell her thanks but there's no need?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

1076 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
75%
You are NOT being unreasonable
25%
Palmfrond · 29/09/2022 14:28

Or, @LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit , another thing you could try is to tie rope round the handles of the bins, and when she goes for them, just tug them a little out of her reach. Repeat this until she becomes exhausted and loses interest.

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Johnnysgirl · 29/09/2022 14:32

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:27

Telling her you don't want her on your drive in case she sees something through your window will sound very...odd.

There's nothing odd about me in my underwear, thanks.

Why do you hang about in front of street level windows in your underwear? Does nobody ever come to your home? Even the postman?

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FuckYourNuggets · 29/09/2022 14:32

Yes admittedly I am grumpy today @LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit. But you say I'm guessing she wants to be helpful and clear the pavement for others and thinks we are all to slow putting them back. Would it be ungracious to pop out and tell her thanks but there's no need?

So you're basically asking "I know she is trying to be helpful but AIBU to tell her there is no need to be helpful to people with disabilities (and pushchairs)". There are more options here than that, and I do think you'd be better addressing the issue by asking the refuse collectors to not leave them strewn about, or taking your own bins in, rather than stopping someone from trying to help others.

It is a pet peeve of mine admittedly. It's one of those things that is a major problem and has such a huge impact on people like me, but others don't have a clue. I think I'm annoyed as you acknowledge she is trying to help but you still want to stop her as it causes you minor inconvenience. I want to be more independent, I want to save myself extra exertion, I want to live a relatively normal life. I just want to go to the fucking shop by myself and not want to have to ask someone to take me. You want to stop someone actively helping me to do that as you think it's "unnecessary" and it's "intrusive" for you.

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LubaLuca · 29/09/2022 14:33

Having had a neighbour who acted in a similar apparently friendly/neighbourly way and then proceeded to try to annex a portion of our garden I disagree with previous posters.

You think it's more likely that this woman is trying to steal property than be kind?

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Johnnysgirl · 29/09/2022 14:37

The front door is not right next to the bay window. The bins are. The postman walks up the path to my door and back out so doesn't walk right past the window. He could probably see me as well on his way up, but at least he's there to do a job. I'm not complaining about tradesmen going into my house, either. But I would if a neighbor let themselves in!
Oh, now you're being completely ridiculous.
"The postman can see me in my pants as well, but he has a RIGHT to be on my property" 🤣🤣🤣
Sheer lunacy.

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YouSirNeighMmmm · 29/09/2022 14:37

Palmfrond · 29/09/2022 14:28

Or, @LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit , another thing you could try is to tie rope round the handles of the bins, and when she goes for them, just tug them a little out of her reach. Repeat this until she becomes exhausted and loses interest.

Superb!

This really is one of those "any answer could be right" questions I think.

If she is always there within 30 seconds of the bin being emptied and onto your property then you have every reason to be furious with a rude so and so who blanks you but is happy to come onto your property univited and in a passive aggressive "I'm cleaning up after you" kind of way.

But if you work from home all day, sitting in your office watching people struggling to squeeze past your bin on a narrow pavement then you are the unreasonable one.

Obviously if you're not at home because you need to work then there's nothing you can do about your bin blocking the pavement, and obviously no-one has an obligation to look out for the bin men so they can get their bin back inside immediately... but I do think civilised people who are able-bodied should try to get their bins in reasonably soon after the bin men come if they can.

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Icanstillrecallourlastsummer · 29/09/2022 14:39

I think it owuld be pretty rude. Get our there before her or close your blinds.

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JesusSufferingFuck22 · 29/09/2022 14:39

girlmom21 · 29/09/2022 13:52

I don't think it's a bad thing as she's making the road more accessible for everyone and saving you a job. Is she staring into your window?

If she’s not staring in your window she’s doing you a favour, and making the street accessible. I’ve had many occasions where I can’t get by on my mobility scooter because of bins lying out all day.

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norespectformyself · 29/09/2022 14:41

Palmfrond · 29/09/2022 14:25

@LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit I had a neighbour who used to do exactly this, so I invested in a powerful laser pointer, and now that neighbour is blind and can’t rearrange my bins or indeed anyone else’s.
YANBU

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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YouSirNeighMmmm · 29/09/2022 14:42

FuckYourNuggets · 29/09/2022 14:32

Yes admittedly I am grumpy today @LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit. But you say I'm guessing she wants to be helpful and clear the pavement for others and thinks we are all to slow putting them back. Would it be ungracious to pop out and tell her thanks but there's no need?

So you're basically asking "I know she is trying to be helpful but AIBU to tell her there is no need to be helpful to people with disabilities (and pushchairs)". There are more options here than that, and I do think you'd be better addressing the issue by asking the refuse collectors to not leave them strewn about, or taking your own bins in, rather than stopping someone from trying to help others.

It is a pet peeve of mine admittedly. It's one of those things that is a major problem and has such a huge impact on people like me, but others don't have a clue. I think I'm annoyed as you acknowledge she is trying to help but you still want to stop her as it causes you minor inconvenience. I want to be more independent, I want to save myself extra exertion, I want to live a relatively normal life. I just want to go to the fucking shop by myself and not want to have to ask someone to take me. You want to stop someone actively helping me to do that as you think it's "unnecessary" and it's "intrusive" for you.

Great post.

One of my pet peeves is seeing someone leave their home on foot and walk past their bins which are blocking the pavement. They could have spent literally 5 to 10 seconds moving them onto their drive, but no. Their right to be a lazy fuck and block the pavement is greater than everyone else's right to go about their business unimpeded - with obviously those with disabilities or pushchairs much more inconvenienced or disadvantaged by the laziness than others.

Walking past your own bins on the pavement is the same as sitting in your parked car chucking the remnants of your KFC out of the window onto the ground as far as I am concerned... thoughtless, selfish, anti-social, pointless

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Quveas · 29/09/2022 14:44

In that case be ready to go and get your bin and move it out of the way straight away - problem solved. Perhaps she is aware that leaving bins littering the place impacts on lots of other people - personally as a mobility scooter I am fed up of the people who leave their bins blocking pavements forcing disabled people and mums with prams into the road.

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PanPacificBallroomChampion · 29/09/2022 14:45

What about a compromise? Write her a note or pop round and thank her for bringing in your bin, blah, blah, very neighbourly etc but can she just pop it in off the path as you will do the rest as you would prefer to wheel it to put it away.

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fruitbrewhaha · 29/09/2022 14:46

I think you should wait inside the bin. Then when she grabs hold of the handles you can jump up out of the bin and show the bitch what for. How dare she touch your things and step across your property.

Or just leave her to it. Maybe ask her to put them out for you too. or any other chores you've got.

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Blowyourowntrumpet · 29/09/2022 14:47

I wouldn't like it either.

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Bookworm20 · 29/09/2022 14:51

I really don't get this. Unless she is walking up your drive and then standing there staring in your window, shes doing you a lovely favour.

And she obviously hasn't yet spied you in your undies, if she didn't recognise you when you passed her and said hello. She probably had no idea who you are if you've not properly met her (yet you seem to think shes unfriendly for some reason, even though you've never met her). perhaps pop out one morning and just say, oh Hi, thanks for getting my bins in. Which would be the normal thing to do, no?

Problem is easily solved anyway by not prancing about your living room in your undies on bin day. Perhaps just put some clothes on and then when bin is safely back on your drive, take them off and walk around to your hearts content half naked. Though you must be pretty well off if you can do that, as surely must mean you have your heating on - something I can only dream about at the moment. Although I have to say I've never walked around my living room in my undies as far as I can remember, and if I did, i'd probably close the curtains anyway.

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WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 29/09/2022 14:51

I'm saying YANBU, because it's annoying when someone does something you didn't even ask them to do, even if it does appear helpful.

I get weirdly annoyed -and I know it's pathetic, when me and DH are out, and we need to go single file when we're walking (crowd of people coming, or a narrow path,) and he says 'after yooooooooou...'

It annoys me coz I think 'I was going to walk in front of you ANYWAY, I don't need your fucking permission to go first!!!'

Same with men opening the door and holding it open and standing there waiting for me to come to the doorway to go through, and saying 'ladies first.....'

I KNOW it's irrational and they are probably just being nice, but it feels like they are 'letting' me go first, and I think 'I don't need your fucking permission to go before you!'

But yeah, it annoys me (sometimes not always) when people do stuff I DIDN'T ask them to do. Don't ASSUME I can't do it myself.


A woman at work used to boil my piss when she made a round of drinks, and asked 'Gently, would you like a coffee?' and I said 'no thanks...'She kept saying 'are you sure, I don't mind, you may regret saying no.............' I kept saying no no no no no.... thanks.

She STILL fucking made it!!!

I purposely left it.

People listening to what I say and what I want, and then ignoring it and doing what they want anyway is fucking infuriating.

Time for my afternoon nap methinks! Grin

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madasawethen · 29/09/2022 14:55

A woman at work used to boil my piss when she made a round of drinks, and asked 'Gently, would you like a coffee?' and I said 'no thanks...'She kept saying 'are you sure, I don't mind, you may regret saying no.............' I kept saying no no no no no.... thanks.
She STILL fucking made it!!!

ah go on
go on
go on
go on

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AryaStarkWolf · 29/09/2022 14:55

fruitbrewhaha · 29/09/2022 14:46

I think you should wait inside the bin. Then when she grabs hold of the handles you can jump up out of the bin and show the bitch what for. How dare she touch your things and step across your property.

Or just leave her to it. Maybe ask her to put them out for you too. or any other chores you've got.

😂

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ferneytorro · 29/09/2022 15:00

Christ no I’d hate this. Who made her bin monitor. Get off my drive.

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Nocutenamesleft · 29/09/2022 15:01

Oh no!

I did this for my neighbour literally two days ago! I was trying to be nice and out them away without her noticing. But she was inside at the window of all places

if this is you MRs C!! I’m sorry!

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Sallyandsam · 29/09/2022 15:03

I’d be giving her a bottle of wine

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WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 29/09/2022 15:05

madasawethen · 29/09/2022 14:55

A woman at work used to boil my piss when she made a round of drinks, and asked 'Gently, would you like a coffee?' and I said 'no thanks...'She kept saying 'are you sure, I don't mind, you may regret saying no.............' I kept saying no no no no no.... thanks.
She STILL fucking made it!!!

ah go on
go on
go on
go on

Fuuuuk offfffffffffffffffffff! 😂

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junecat · 29/09/2022 15:05

I do this for my next door neighbour because the bin men just leave them in the middle of her drive so she wouldn't be able to pull on when she got home from work. I just pull them down a bit and into the side when I get mine. I don't go looking in windows or anything. She seems grateful

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AryaStarkWolf · 29/09/2022 15:07

junecat · 29/09/2022 15:05

I do this for my next door neighbour because the bin men just leave them in the middle of her drive so she wouldn't be able to pull on when she got home from work. I just pull them down a bit and into the side when I get mine. I don't go looking in windows or anything. She seems grateful

I think most people would be grateful tbf!

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Coastalcreeksider · 29/09/2022 15:08

Someone putting my bin away Monday would have saved me having to pick it up where the wind had blown it over, right across my drive and the public footpath so I couldn't park the car. My neighbours aren't friendly in that way where I live now unfortunately. 😩

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