My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

To not want this woman on my street "helping" with my bins every week?

227 replies

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 13:38

A woman on my street (about 5 doors away - don't know her name, she doesn't even say hello if she sees me) rushes out to put all the neighbours' bins back after the binmen have been. (Not sure how many other houses she does but it's not just mine.) I don't like it because she goes into my drive to do it and she can see into my house through the window. It just feels unnecessary and intrusive. I'm guessing she wants to be helpful and clear the pavement for others and thinks we are all to slow putting them back. Would it be ungracious to pop out and tell her thanks but there's no need?

OP posts:
Report

Am I being unreasonable?

1076 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
75%
You are NOT being unreasonable
25%
Arenanewbie · 29/09/2022 16:10

I wouldn’t like it either. I would feel that her behavior is a mixture of passive aggressive and intrusive. And I don’t like people who interfere in my life in any way.
Next time I would wait for her downstairs near the window then open the window and tell her politely but firmly: Please leave it, I’ll do it myself. And then again: No I prefer to do it myself ( if she starts telling something)
And then I’d go out and do it.
By the way, is it a school run time? If so, I would try to put bins in asap especially if it’s s primary school. Having bins on the way is VERY inconvenient for people with pushchairs and cycling kids.

Report
Presently83 · 29/09/2022 16:14

Could be worse; if I don't remove my bin from the pavement the VERY SECOND after the bin men have been (eg. if we've all gone to work before they've come) I get aggressive notes taped to the bins by neighbours reading 'BINS MUST BE KEPT ON YOUR OWN PROPERTY'. A couple of times they've carried the bins up my front steps and left them right outside my front door. And it's a wide pavement! Madness.

Report
SunshineLoving · 29/09/2022 16:15

Can't believe this. A neighbour doing a neighbourly thing. I'm glad you're not my neighbour.

Report
JOFFCV · 29/09/2022 16:16

SunshineLoving · 29/09/2022 16:15

Can't believe this. A neighbour doing a neighbourly thing. I'm glad you're not my neighbour.

You don't think it's weird that she does this all the time and not just OP's bin?

Report
Goosygandy · 29/09/2022 16:17

JOFFCV · 29/09/2022 16:16

You don't think it's weird that she does this all the time and not just OP's bin?

No. I think it's weird that the OP objects to it. It's not just about her, is it? It's also about the people who want to use the pavement, which could include people in wheelchairs and people with buggies.

Report
Mangogogogo · 29/09/2022 16:18

Our binmen LOVE leaving my bin in front of my driveway so I have to get out to get my car in.

can you please send your neighbour here? I also don’t mind if she sees me naked, totally worth it

Report
StickywithSuncream · 29/09/2022 16:20

This would be all my birthdays and Christmases come at once! It’d never happen in my part of London.

If it really bothers you that much (and if it does, in the nicest possible way it might be a good idea to reflect on that...), then ask her nicely to stop. But expect her to view you as an ingrate from now on.

Report
JOFFCV · 29/09/2022 16:21

Goosygandy · 29/09/2022 16:17

No. I think it's weird that the OP objects to it. It's not just about her, is it? It's also about the people who want to use the pavement, which could include people in wheelchairs and people with buggies.

Our bin men don't leave our bins in the middle of the pavement. Also, a PP commented they have their bins cleaned. Bin cleaners are usually close behind the bin men but that shouldn't have to be having to race LittleBoPeeps neighbour to the bin every time.

Report
Jmaho · 29/09/2022 16:24

The couple opposite me walk their dog really early and bring my bin back and a few other neighbours. It's lovely and makes me thankful to have such lovely neighbours. They also bring us lovely vegetables from their allotment. We do things for them too as and when
I'll never move from this. In our old house my kids used to get screamed at by the evil witch next door when they played in their own garden (not early or late may I add) and used to report us to the council for pollution if we had a bbq so I'm overly thankful for getting some good ones this time around

Report
Greenhillsfaraway · 29/09/2022 16:32

Sounds like the thing my sister would do ! She unfortunately has a mental illness . I have a chat with her to see what’s going on .

Report
Moveoverdarlin · 29/09/2022 16:33

Thirty years ago this would be considered a lovely, neighbourly thing to do. Now people think it’s some batty woman trying to trespass and take a look at some SAHM in their knickers. What an odd way to think. Next time you see her, I would stop her and say ‘oh Hi, I live at number X, just wanted to say thanks ever so much for bringing my bins in every week, I’ve got young children and don’t get chance. Nice to chat, bye bye.’ It’s manners, passing the time of day.

And if it bothers you that much, get the bin in before she does. She’s probably just doing it because the bins make the streets look messy.

Report
limitedperiodonly · 29/09/2022 16:35

No, it is not intrusive. Yes, she is trying to be helpful. Yes, it would be ungracious of you to tell her to stop but if you feel compelled, go ahead.

Report
TwoWrightFeet · 29/09/2022 16:36

I’d love to have a little woman on my street to do things like that for me. Enjoy it before she moves away and a man moves in and expects you to do it for him!

Report
menopausalbloat · 29/09/2022 16:39

Just say thanks for being so kind but you'd prefer to bring them in yourselves. Nothing more needs to be said.

Report
WireSkills · 29/09/2022 16:42

Crikey, she'd hate our next door neighbours - they leave their bins out for days! We don't put them on the street in front of our houses - they're a little bit of a walk away. Don't know why they don't bring them in other than they just can't be arsed.

Your neighbour sounds a bit nuts. They've obviously taken it upon themselves to maintain a "tidy" street within their own eyeline. On the basis she had no idea who you were, she's doing it for her own benefit, not yours.

Notwithstanding the whole being able to look in the window, this would piss me off too. Not quite sure why though!

I'd hate to think what she'd do if you put a skip outside your house!

You're going to have to mention it to her - try and catch her bringing it back and "Hi there - thanks for bringing it in - there's really no need to do it though - I'll do it in future".

If she says anything in reply then you can add "well, could you not bring it in front of the windows please - I don't like people walking past the window I don't know. If you need to bring it back, then just pop it inside the boundary and I'll put it away properly later".

Report
Soproudoflionesses · 29/09/2022 16:51

I do my neighbour's for him all the time - they always leave it so you can't get back onto your driveway and it never occurred to me he might think l was a pain doing it!

Report
Choconut · 29/09/2022 16:51

OP just stand in your window in your undies and stare at her - that should have the desired effect. No introductions or friendliness required.

Report
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 17:04

imagine thinking your neighbour cares enough about seeing you in your underwear to engineer this bin plot Confused

Report
napody · 29/09/2022 17:11

LaughingPriest · 29/09/2022 15:12

You need to come out as non-binaway

I love you.

Report
WiddlinDiddlin · 29/09/2022 17:16

I love the self appointed Bin Monitors who put away bins - I vote YES to Bin BusyBodies, as a wheelchair user they're ace.

On some streets it can look as if there's loads of room for bins out if parked tidy, and people to pass by.

1/ Most people underestimate the width of wheelchairs - or that a wheelchair user may have dogs or children they're hand holding alongside them.

2/ Most people underestimate the space and criteria required to manouvre a wheelchair, some need a lot of turn space, some struggle on a steep camber, they all need a flat surface without broken glass, wobbly flags, etc etc.

3/ When you're gone and your bins are out, they're having fun without you - people shove them about, kids drag them and leave them, people play silly buggers. So even if your bin men left them tidy, theres a strong chance they're not tidy by the time you get round to putting them away.


I do think its weird that someone has appointed themselves Grand High Poohbah of the Bin Tidying but if thats what makes her feel good, what the heck, let her.

It is ONE day a week to remember not to be nudey dancing to SClub 5' 6 '7 '8... you know it will happen, it's the morning after the evening you put it out...

Alternatively, go all out to burn out her retinas and do all the nudey dancing you like whilst staring right at her - ideally, rush to the door in the nip and invite her in for a naturist boogie.. She will NEVER look in your window again! (Or..she'll be your new starkers bopping bestie... win win!)

Report
Roxie99 · 29/09/2022 17:21

I wish someone would put my bins back as I have to stop my car in the middle of the road holding traffic so I can get into my drive because the bin men have left the bins so I can't access my drive. What a wonderful neighbour ...is she staring into your room whilst doing it?

Report
WhileMyGuitarGentlyWeeps · 29/09/2022 17:25

Thing is, it seems very odd when this woman has never even spoken to the OP.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

DWMoosmum · 29/09/2022 17:30

@AdobeWanKenobi this made me LOL

Report
whatdodos · 29/09/2022 17:31

A lady on my street used to do this with her little girl who loved doing it and loved helping out. Someone complained so she stopped completely. Makes me feel a bit sad really as I looked forward to saying thank you to the little one as she was always so pleased

Report
Explaintome · 29/09/2022 17:32

If someone did this for me I probably wouldn't even notice 😆

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.