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AIBU?

To not want this woman on my street "helping" with my bins every week?

227 replies

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 13:38

A woman on my street (about 5 doors away - don't know her name, she doesn't even say hello if she sees me) rushes out to put all the neighbours' bins back after the binmen have been. (Not sure how many other houses she does but it's not just mine.) I don't like it because she goes into my drive to do it and she can see into my house through the window. It just feels unnecessary and intrusive. I'm guessing she wants to be helpful and clear the pavement for others and thinks we are all to slow putting them back. Would it be ungracious to pop out and tell her thanks but there's no need?

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Am I being unreasonable?

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LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:15

@FuckYourNuggets

If you'd bothered to read my other posts before biting my head off, you'd see that I've said she runs out as soon as the binmen have been and that I never even get the chance to do it myself.

I'm a stay at home mother so I wouldn't be leaving them there anyway, I'm always in and out of the house all day!

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KosherDill · 29/09/2022 14:15

I would not want someone unilaterally deciding to do this, or anything else on my property. YANBU, OP.

An elderly woman lives across the road from me; new neighbor next to her started immediately on "helpfully" taking the bins in. Then she started "helpfully" weeding -- except it wasn't weeds growing in the old lady's yard, it was pollinator-friendly plants cultivated over years. Meanwhile I notice her husband having a nosy look inside the widow's garage. Finally the widow's grandson, who visits multiple times per week to care for her, told them to back off.

Spare me the do-gooders.

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Mamato3boysand2dogs · 29/09/2022 14:15

Your property. Your rules.

I wouldn't like it either. Postmen, courier etc i have in a roundabout way, invited onto my private property by way of ordering things and wanting them delivered. My choice.

A neighbour taking it upon herself to walk on my drive and put my property away would irritate me a lot.

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GlassDeli · 29/09/2022 14:16

Put the bin out, then cover the handle with jam.

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girlmom21 · 29/09/2022 14:17

GlassDeli · 29/09/2022 14:16

Put the bin out, then cover the handle with jam.

What a ridiculous suggestion.

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Johnnysgirl · 29/09/2022 14:18

GlassDeli · 29/09/2022 14:16

Put the bin out, then cover the handle with jam.

Oh, get a life...

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LunaLoveLemon · 29/09/2022 14:18

I do this for my elderly neighbour if I see it needs doing. And my next door neighbour sometimes does ours and vice versa (we have to bring them around the back down an alleyway). I love it when someone else brings ours around!!

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LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:18

Our bin men don’t leave the bins in the middle of the pavement so that wouldn’t be a factor here, though.

Same. But they could probably still be an obstruction to people with mobility problems, which is why I think maybe let her do it if she's worried about this aspect and I'm not "fast enough". I don't exactly spend my day looking for the binmen to arrive.

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AryaStarkWolf · 29/09/2022 14:19

Oh fgs, you'd sound like a right arse calling and telling her stop doing you and the street a favour

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MagpiePi · 29/09/2022 14:19

Can't believe I'm the first one to say.... you should move house

Grin

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Johnnysgirl · 29/09/2022 14:20

cushioncovers · 29/09/2022 13:49

Johnnysgirl thats the point op can't get her own bin in because the neighbour rushes out as soon as the bin men have been and puts op's bin away.

Well op suggested "popping out" to tell her it's not necessary; she can just as easily pop out to bring them in herself 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Pixiedust1234 · 29/09/2022 14:21

At first I thought you were unreasonable considering the postman walks up your drive but you've explained this more. What I would do is speak to her. Say thank you for all the previous times but you would rather she stopped bringing them onto the drive as you are sometimes not fully dressed and you feel very uncomfortable. Thats all you need to say really.

If she's trying to clear the pavement then say she can push them onto your drive but you will put them by your house. Everybody wins.

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girlmom21 · 29/09/2022 14:21

LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:18

Our bin men don’t leave the bins in the middle of the pavement so that wouldn’t be a factor here, though.

Same. But they could probably still be an obstruction to people with mobility problems, which is why I think maybe let her do it if she's worried about this aspect and I'm not "fast enough". I don't exactly spend my day looking for the binmen to arrive.

But you manage to spot her rushing out as soon as they've been?

Perhaps you're leaving them longer than you think.

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fairtrauchled · 29/09/2022 14:23

We do this with our neighbours.Whoever is around after the bins have been emptied takes in their own bin and neighbours one.
My dad did the same for his neighbours(around 5 houses and got a bit miffed if anyone else put all the bins back on drives.He still did this when he was well into his 80s,and was suffering from kidney failure.

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hoorayandupsherises · 29/09/2022 14:23

You see, like you OP, I wouldn't like this. On the other hand, I can't think of any reasonable argument telling her not to do.

Unless you are happy to say you don't want to be seen in your pants.

Awkward.

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Toddlerteaplease · 29/09/2022 14:23

My neighbour does this for me. I'm nothing but grateful!

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Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 29/09/2022 14:23

My father and his next-door-neighbour have an ongoing battle to get the other’s bin in. Their bin battle is particularly impressive when Dad gets to NDN’s bin before them, only for them to grab his bin. I did suggest it might be easier to just take their own bins in, but as Dad said, where’s the fun in that?

Homestly, the quicker bins are off the streets/pavements, the better for everyone.

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Palmfrond · 29/09/2022 14:25

@LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit I had a neighbour who used to do exactly this, so I invested in a powerful laser pointer, and now that neighbour is blind and can’t rearrange my bins or indeed anyone else’s.
YANBU

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LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:25

Perhaps you're leaving them longer than you think.

Quite possibly, yes.

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Lucyshavingaparty · 29/09/2022 14:25

Only on mumsnet would someone kindly moving your bin into your garden be construed as a problem.

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pattihews · 29/09/2022 14:25

I don't like it because she goes into my drive to do it and she can see into my house through the window. It just feels unnecessary and intrusive.

Who's got the problem here, I wonder?

I imagine the bin lady is trying to clear a narrow pavement of bins so that someone with a stick or sight problems doesn't career into them. Or maybe she just hates the sight of bins on the street. There's an easy solution, OP. The moment the bin's been emptied go and collect it. Telling her you don't want her on your drive in case she sees something through your window will sound very...odd.

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Maray1967 · 29/09/2022 14:26

We and our neighbours do both, whoever goes out first. But we like our neighbours and don’t think they’re using it as an excuse to have a look through the living room window.

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LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:27

Telling her you don't want her on your drive in case she sees something through your window will sound very...odd.

There's nothing odd about me in my underwear, thanks.

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LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit · 29/09/2022 14:27

Ok, thanks Mumsnet. AIBU. Over and out.

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Palmfrond · 29/09/2022 14:28

Or, @LittleBoPeepHasLostHerShit , another thing you could try is to tie rope round the handles of the bins, and when she goes for them, just tug them a little out of her reach. Repeat this until she becomes exhausted and loses interest.

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