AIBU?
Who is BU - restaurant choices.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:02
I'm going to do that tedious A and B thing, sorry!
Person A has just had a baby and is dieting, she also has a dairy allergy. Person B asked Person A (and her children) to go out for lunch, and Person A agreed. Person B is having some financial difficulties. There was no discussion about which restaurant to go to.
Person B booked a restaurant where main meals cost £10-£15 and told Person A she's booked it. Person A doesn't like this option because all the options she can eat are over 1000 calories and aren't the type of food she likes. It's the opposite side of town from Person A's house and would require two buses to get to. Person B has suggested picking Person A up and that she could have a one-off treat.
Person A suggested a restaurant in town where main meals cost £12-£16. Person B doesn't like this because it's more expensive and there's no free parking. Person A has offered to pay for Person B and has said that Person B can park at her house (obviously for free).
Person B doesn't want to be paid for by Person A and thinks Person A is being unreasonable. Person A doesn't want to eat extra calories (especially for a meal that she won't enjoy) and thinks Person B is being unreasonable.
YABU - Go to the cheaper, higher calorie place.
YANBU - Go to the more expensive, healthier place.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
forrestgreen · 29/09/2022 12:03
Just don't bother, sounds like way too much hard work. It should be fun, see a friend and having a meal.
StopDrivingIntoMyFence · 29/09/2022 12:04
Too much drama over what should just be an easy pleasurable experience.
MarinoRoyale · 29/09/2022 12:05
Person A shouldn’t expect Person B to spend for more than they’re comfortable to do, which trumps Person A’s desire to eat lower calorie food.
Hankunamatata · 29/09/2022 12:06
Neither is being unreasonable. Either just go to soft play or round each others house
IamSmarticus · 29/09/2022 12:06
Jeez, for the sake of £2! I was expecting the second restaurant to be way more expensive, not just a couple of quid.
I think person B should have specified the venue at the outset if that is where she wanted to go, then person A could have declined at that point.
As it stands now, I think B should just go to A's suggested restaurant and make a mental note to be more clear next time.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:06
I would be happy with going for a drink but the other person is insisting on lunch - they don't live near each other and don't see each other regularly. They're also relatives, not friends so the dynamic is bit trickier.
TuttiFrutti · 29/09/2022 12:07
You are person A, right?
There's got to be somewhere you will both be happy. A cheap cafe which does healthy options?
mrsbitaly · 29/09/2022 12:07
I understand why she wouldn't want to go somewhere where the food is high in calories if she's trying to diet. Can't you both meet in the middle somewhere surely there is somewhere where you can have a relatively cheap meal but have the option for a lighter meal that meets your friends dietary requirements.
Cheeselog · 29/09/2022 12:08
It’s not that much more expensive - is person B unable to afford the £12 option and would only be able to afford the £10?
user1471457751 · 29/09/2022 12:08
Well the cost of main meals look the same so really the only additional cost is the parking. But really one high calorie meal won't do any harm so I don't see why Person A has created such a fuss in the first place.
MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 29/09/2022 12:09
Both are being unreasonable. Lunches with friends are supposed to be about seeing the other person, not about the food!
If you are Person A, go to the cheap restaurant and just eat half the portion (a.k.a. "The Dolly Parton Diet"). Surely you can find something you like even it it's just a portion of chips!
And your kids can gobble up the rest so there's no wastage.
If you are Person B, go to the expensive restaurant and just order a starter, or allow your friend to pay for the meal.
Hymnulop · 29/09/2022 12:09
Just say who you are it's so bloody annoying! And in this instance you're both being unreasonable and silly anyway. Just have some fucking lunch! Jesus christ. Why don't you go to person A or Bs house - costs nothing and you can split a lettuce or something.
DialsMavis · 29/09/2022 12:10
So the expensive place will cost person B a maximum of £2 more? But will save them fuel costs as they dont need to drive accross town multiple times picking up and dropping off? Surely this negates the £1-2 for the meal? Person A could but person B a drink to even things out further? I hate spending money on something I wont enjoy
BattenburgDonkey · 29/09/2022 12:10
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:06
I would be happy with going for a drink but the other person is insisting on lunch - they don't live near each other and don't see each other regularly. They're also relatives, not friends so the dynamic is bit trickier.
If you don’t see eachother often I’d take a break from dieting to ensure the friend can actually afford the trip.
PigsInBlanketyBlankets · 29/09/2022 12:10
You're obviously person A 🙄
Ask for a half portion. Sorted
Midnights · 29/09/2022 12:10
I'd say A - for option one, B has offered to drive A and children (so it's easier transport wise), there's free parking and cheaper food. A can eat a smaller portion, or pick something less calorie dense.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:11
It's a rural location with limited options. In walking distance, there's the place suggested by Person A, a cafe that doesn't cater well to allergies (no available food, very limited on the drinks front), a very expensive restaurant (£30-£40) and a pub that's accepted by both A and B to be absolutely terrible (pretty sure it's money laundering because no one goes there). By bus, feasibly, there's the restaurant Person B suggested and two others that are a lot more expensive.
TheGoodEnoughWife · 29/09/2022 12:12
Just don't bother. Neither of you want to compromise and it really should be an enjoyable event. Don't have the hassle.
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