AIBU?
Who is BU - restaurant choices.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:02
I'm going to do that tedious A and B thing, sorry!
Person A has just had a baby and is dieting, she also has a dairy allergy. Person B asked Person A (and her children) to go out for lunch, and Person A agreed. Person B is having some financial difficulties. There was no discussion about which restaurant to go to.
Person B booked a restaurant where main meals cost £10-£15 and told Person A she's booked it. Person A doesn't like this option because all the options she can eat are over 1000 calories and aren't the type of food she likes. It's the opposite side of town from Person A's house and would require two buses to get to. Person B has suggested picking Person A up and that she could have a one-off treat.
Person A suggested a restaurant in town where main meals cost £12-£16. Person B doesn't like this because it's more expensive and there's no free parking. Person A has offered to pay for Person B and has said that Person B can park at her house (obviously for free).
Person B doesn't want to be paid for by Person A and thinks Person A is being unreasonable. Person A doesn't want to eat extra calories (especially for a meal that she won't enjoy) and thinks Person B is being unreasonable.
YABU - Go to the cheaper, higher calorie place.
YANBU - Go to the more expensive, healthier place.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
nobodygirle · 29/09/2022 12:38
Is £12-16 really that much more expensive than £10-12 for a lunch? I think person A wins it.
Person A has good reason - dieting, doesn't like the food at original suggestion and has offered both free parking and to pay for lunch. Person B is just being difficult over the sake of potentially 2 quid.
mrsm43s · 29/09/2022 12:39
I think A's being difficult, actually.
She could eat something a bit more calorific than normal - she doesn't want to
She could eat a half portion - she doesn't want to
She could just have a starter - she doesn't want to
There's lots of ways that A could compromise, but she's not prepared to. (and no doubt the restaurant - any restaurant will serve something simple like a salad or soup or a sandwich which would be low enough in calories)
A isn't going to be happy unless she gets her choice - it's obvious that B prefers the cheaper restaurant, and she has made the arrangements and booked it. In future, A should make the arrangements and book the restaurant if she wants to go to a specific place.
ChippyTea16 · 29/09/2022 12:39
So neither of you want to go to the other's choice? There are only 2 solutions then, don't bother or find a 3rd option you are both happy with!
As an aside, it's not going to be fun for B going out for lunch with a diet bore so I really just wouldn't bother!
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:42
I think A' B's being difficult, actually.
She could eat something a bit more calorific expensive than normal - she doesn't want to
She could eat a half portion side - she doesn't want to
She could just have a starter - she doesn't want to
There's lots of ways that A could compromise, but she's not prepared to.
BryceQuinlanTheFirst · 29/09/2022 12:43
What kind of restaurant is it that everything is hugely calorific? I mean even fast food places do a slimmer version. And just eat less the rest of the day.
And the price difference you indicated was £2 difference.
Both seem very fixed and it sounds like a huge hasslez
tharsheblows · 29/09/2022 12:45
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
I love this! I think it's a fine way to be and you clearly like each other at least a little bit 😊
Here's what I'd do: go with Person A's suggestion with the understanding that Person B gets to say ONCE "but last time we did what you wanted" and that Person A might say "this is not at all the same thing" in which case, Person B can narrow their eyes and think "I never should have agreed to that".
But seriously, I'd go with Person A's suggestion and maybe let Person B pay them back a bit one way or another if that helps Person B agree to the plan!
mrsm43s · 29/09/2022 12:46
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:42
I think A' B's being difficult, actually.
She could eat something a bit more calorific expensive than normal - she doesn't want to
She could eat a half portion side - she doesn't want to
She could just have a starter - she doesn't want to
There's lots of ways that A could compromise, but she's not prepared to.
But B made the invite, B booked the restaurant, B invited A to join her at her chosen restaurant. She didn't ask A to pick a restaurant. If A had made the invite/arrangements and booked the restaurant, then yes, it would be on B to decline or compromise. But A didn't, she accepted the invitation and now wants to change the venue.
If A wants to go to her favourite restaurant, then its up to A to put in the leg work, make the invite, sort the arrangements and book the table.
B is in the right, A is inflexible and in the wrong.
Next time A can make the arrangements, and they can go to a restaurant of her choice.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:47
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:34
Are you not embarrassed?
I'm using this site, with a friend, to gauge opinion on a trivial, light-hearted dispute. You're using it, alone, to hurl petty abuse at strangers. Of the two of us, I think I know who I'd rather be.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:32
oh no!
are you both not embarrassed? you should be
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:31
Don't worry, we don't want to be friends with you either.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:30
i couldn’t be friends with either of you. sitting huddled round mumsnet waiting to be told what to do with your overly detailed pointless dilemma
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
“hurl abuse” 🤣 ok
PuppyMonkey · 29/09/2022 12:47
Person B has done the inviting out, which is a nice thing to do. Insisting they go somewhere Person A doesn’t like is not such a nice thing to do.
If Person B doesn’t like the alternative suggested by Person A, they are at liberty to decline. And maybe just accept the lunch idea can’t happen.
If Person B is really so skint a difference of £5-6 creates such huge problems in their life, maybe they shouldn’t have suggested going out to lunch in the first place. 
drpet49 · 29/09/2022 12:48
nobodygirle · 29/09/2022 12:38
Is £12-16 really that much more expensive than £10-12 for a lunch? I think person A wins it.
Person A has good reason - dieting, doesn't like the food at original suggestion and has offered both free parking and to pay for lunch. Person B is just being difficult over the sake of potentially 2 quid.
I completely agree with this.
PrincessConsuelaBanana · 29/09/2022 12:49
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:34
Are you not embarrassed?
I'm using this site, with a friend, to gauge opinion on a trivial, light-hearted dispute. You're using it, alone, to hurl petty abuse at strangers. Of the two of us, I think I know who I'd rather be.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:32
oh no!
are you both not embarrassed? you should be
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:31
Don't worry, we don't want to be friends with you either.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:30
i couldn’t be friends with either of you. sitting huddled round mumsnet waiting to be told what to do with your overly detailed pointless dilemma
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
Well said OP 😂
I think person B is most unreasonable considering the more expensive place is only approx £2 more for a main. Park at A’s house so parking is still free and pay the extra £2 for your main. A could pay the difference to make up for not having to pay for transport to the other place…?
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.