Who is BU - restaurant choices.

[BeeRogue]

I'm going to do that tedious A and B thing, sorry!

Person A has just had a baby and is dieting, she also has a dairy allergy. Person B asked Person A (and her children) to go out for lunch, and Person A agreed. Person B is having some financial difficulties. There was no discussion about which restaurant to go to.

Person B booked a restaurant where main meals cost £10-£15 and told Person A she's booked it. Person A doesn't like this option because all the options she can eat are over 1000 calories and aren't the type of food she likes. It's the opposite side of town from Person A's house and would require two buses to get to. Person B has suggested picking Person A up and that she could have a one-off treat.

Person A suggested a restaurant in town where main meals cost £12-£16. Person B doesn't like this because it's more expensive and there's no free parking. Person A has offered to pay for Person B and has said that Person B can park at her house (obviously for free).

Person B doesn't want to be paid for by Person A and thinks Person A is being unreasonable. Person A doesn't want to eat extra calories (especially for a meal that she won't enjoy) and thinks Person B is being unreasonable.

YABU - Go to the cheaper, higher calorie place.
YANBU - Go to the more expensive, healthier place.

[WaltzingWaters]

Wow that’s a lot of drama. Sounds as if the healthier restaurant is barely any more expensive anyway, so I’d go for that one. Or just go to a supermarket and make something much cheaper and healthier you both like!

[Glitteratitar]

Seriously? I think you need to both find a better hobby.

[nobodygirle]

Is £12-16 really that much more expensive than £10-12 for a lunch? I think person A wins it.

Person A has good reason - dieting, doesn't like the food at original suggestion and has offered both free parking and to pay for lunch. Person B is just being difficult over the sake of potentially 2 quid.

[mrsm43s]

I think A's being difficult, actually.

She could eat something a bit more calorific than normal - she doesn't want to
She could eat a half portion - she doesn't want to
She could just have a starter - she doesn't want to
There's lots of ways that A could compromise, but she's not prepared to. (and no doubt the restaurant - any restaurant will serve something simple like a salad or soup or a sandwich which would be low enough in calories)

A isn't going to be happy unless she gets her choice - it's obvious that B prefers the cheaper restaurant, and she has made the arrangements and booked it. In future, A should make the arrangements and book the restaurant if she wants to go to a specific place.

[ChippyTea16]

So neither of you want to go to the other's choice? There are only 2 solutions then, don't bother or find a 3rd option you are both happy with!

As an aside, it's not going to be fun for B going out for lunch with a diet bore so I really just wouldn't bother!

[Crunchymum]

I'm confused. Are there 3 of you going?

[Iknowthis1]

A and B are both mad as a March hare.

[erinaceus]

Have lunch together over zoom? You can both eat from home, eat what you like, save on the cost of parking, and there's easy access to MN to settle any disputes you are having.

[BeeRogue]

I think A' B's being difficult, actually.

She could eat something a bit more calorific expensive than normal - she doesn't want to
She could eat a half portion side - she doesn't want to
She could just have a starter - she doesn't want to
There's lots of ways that A could compromise, but she's not prepared to.

[BeeRogue]

@Iknowthis1

A and B are both mad as a March hare.

Correct

[BryceQuinlanTheFirst]

What kind of restaurant is it that everything is hugely calorific? I mean even fast food places do a slimmer version. And just eat less the rest of the day.

And the price difference you indicated was £2 difference.

Both seem very fixed and it sounds like a huge hasslez

[PaperPalace]

Maybe toss a coin this time and then agree to go to the other place next time?

[Jalepenojello]

Person A did the inviting so I’d either decline or go along with it. I wouldn’t say yes to lunch out if I was going to be picky over calories for 1 meal.

[TooGosh]

Seeing as it's 12.44 and you're both there reading Mumsnet to decide can I suggest eating at whichever person's house you're at - then you get cheap, low calorie food plus the entertainment of following Mumsnet! Win win.

[littlepeas]

Bloody hell. Both unreasonable and annoying and fussy.

[tharsheblows]

@BeeRogue

By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.

A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.

B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.

(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)

I love this! I think it's a fine way to be and you clearly like each other at least a little bit 😊

Here's what I'd do: go with Person A's suggestion with the understanding that Person B gets to say ONCE "but last time we did what you wanted" and that Person A might say "this is not at all the same thing" in which case, Person B can narrow their eyes and think "I never should have agreed to that".

But seriously, I'd go with Person A's suggestion and maybe let Person B pay them back a bit one way or another if that helps Person B agree to the plan!

[mrsm43s]

@BeeRogue

I think A' B's being difficult, actually.

She could eat something a bit more calorific expensive than normal - she doesn't want to
She could eat a half portion side - she doesn't want to
She could just have a starter - she doesn't want to
There's lots of ways that A could compromise, but she's not prepared to.

But B made the invite, B booked the restaurant, B invited A to join her at her chosen restaurant. She didn't ask A to pick a restaurant. If A had made the invite/arrangements and booked the restaurant, then yes, it would be on B to decline or compromise. But A didn't, she accepted the invitation and now wants to change the venue.

If A wants to go to her favourite restaurant, then its up to A to put in the leg work, make the invite, sort the arrangements and book the table.

B is in the right, A is inflexible and in the wrong.

Next time A can make the arrangements, and they can go to a restaurant of her choice.

[CountingCrowns]

@BeeRogue

Are you not embarrassed?

I'm using this site, with a friend, to gauge opinion on a trivial, light-hearted dispute. You're using it, alone, to hurl petty abuse at strangers. Of the two of us, I think I know who I'd rather be.

“hurl abuse” 🤣 ok

[PuppyMonkey]

Person B has done the inviting out, which is a nice thing to do. Insisting they go somewhere Person A doesn’t like is not such a nice thing to do.

If Person B doesn’t like the alternative suggested by Person A, they are at liberty to decline. And maybe just accept the lunch idea can’t happen.

If Person B is really so skint a difference of £5-6 creates such huge problems in their life, maybe they shouldn’t have suggested going out to lunch in the first place.

[PaperPalace]

I'm now over invested in this! Please let us know what you decide OP!

[drpet49]

@nobodygirle

Is £12-16 really that much more expensive than £10-12 for a lunch? I think person A wins it.

Person A has good reason - dieting, doesn't like the food at original suggestion and has offered both free parking and to pay for lunch. Person B is just being difficult over the sake of potentially 2 quid.

I completely agree with this.

[Asperia]

Is B trying to sabotage A's diet?

[DailyEnergyCrisis]

Will either of you actually enjoy it given how petty/tedious it’s been even deciding where to go? I’d definitely just sack it off and get on with your day.

[PrincessConsuelaBanana]

@BeeRogue

Are you not embarrassed?

I'm using this site, with a friend, to gauge opinion on a trivial, light-hearted dispute. You're using it, alone, to hurl petty abuse at strangers. Of the two of us, I think I know who I'd rather be.

Well said OP 😂

I think person B is most unreasonable considering the more expensive place is only approx £2 more for a main. Park at A’s house so parking is still free and pay the extra £2 for your main. A could pay the difference to make up for not having to pay for transport to the other place…?

[properdoughnut]

@forrestgreen

Just don't bother, sounds like way too much hard work. It should be fun, see a friend and having a meal.

Yeah go for coffee instead