AIBU?
Who is BU - restaurant choices.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:02
I'm going to do that tedious A and B thing, sorry!
Person A has just had a baby and is dieting, she also has a dairy allergy. Person B asked Person A (and her children) to go out for lunch, and Person A agreed. Person B is having some financial difficulties. There was no discussion about which restaurant to go to.
Person B booked a restaurant where main meals cost £10-£15 and told Person A she's booked it. Person A doesn't like this option because all the options she can eat are over 1000 calories and aren't the type of food she likes. It's the opposite side of town from Person A's house and would require two buses to get to. Person B has suggested picking Person A up and that she could have a one-off treat.
Person A suggested a restaurant in town where main meals cost £12-£16. Person B doesn't like this because it's more expensive and there's no free parking. Person A has offered to pay for Person B and has said that Person B can park at her house (obviously for free).
Person B doesn't want to be paid for by Person A and thinks Person A is being unreasonable. Person A doesn't want to eat extra calories (especially for a meal that she won't enjoy) and thinks Person B is being unreasonable.
YABU - Go to the cheaper, higher calorie place.
YANBU - Go to the more expensive, healthier place.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Hugasauras · 29/09/2022 12:14
TheGoodEnoughWife · 29/09/2022 12:12
Just don't bother. Neither of you want to compromise and it really should be an enjoyable event. Don't have the hassle.
Yep. I can't imagine this happening with my friends, but we aren't really that precious about stuff like that! We just want to see each other 🤷♀️
MessingWithTheBlessing · 29/09/2022 12:15
I can see both sides. I find dieting so hard that one indulgent meal would completely break my resolve and make me binge for the next few days. However, I also get that person b doesn't want person a to sponsor her. I wouldn't like that either. Having said that the second place doesn't sound a lot more expensive but maybe the only option that b likes is at the higher end. I do hate places without easy parking though.
I'd find a different place or meet for coffee. Or meet in a cafe. Person a can have coffee and person b can have a sandwich or something. Or meet in a park and get your own lunch.
Discovereads · 29/09/2022 12:18
YABU is what I voted because Person A isn’t being forced to eat the entire 1000 calories plateful of food. Person A can stop eating and take away half the meal for a lunch the next day. Their reason you can work around, they can eat less whereas Person B can’t magic up more money for a more expensive place.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
FinallyHere · 29/09/2022 12:28
TL;DR Your food preferences are not compatible, do something else together.
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In general, I'm all for food being an easy, pleasurable experience and a good way to spend time with people.
As a child and teenager, I could eat pretty much anything. As I got older, I started to put on pound (and pounds).
Now, in my sixties, I have found a way of eating that feels good and doesn't put on weight. No big surprise, my body doesn't deal well with sugar and starchy carbs. Another not so surprising thing, more expensive restaurants tend to provide more non sugar or non starchy carbs options, exactly because sugar and starchy carbs are cheap and tend to have a long shelf life.
Lucky those who tolerate sugar/carbs well. That means physiologically that their body recovers quickly to spikes in blood glucose, so they can genuinely have a 'one off' carbs meal and no harm done.
My body reacts to sugar/starchy carbs the way an alcoholic does to alcohol. Would anyone really expect an alcoholic to drink 'just this once' to keep someone else company ? I really hope not. There is a lot less understanding about the impact of sugar on some (many, many) people.
There is a powerful lobby of food manufacturers who make millions from highly addictive carby 'foods' and who are adept at avoiding or subverting any legislation designed to reduce consumption because they don't mind people getting fat so long as their profits continue.
Don't take my word for it, look what happened to John Yudkin who advocated for low carb way of eating in the '70's. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Yudkin
Even the Wikipedia entry does really give him the credit he deserves because his message was unpalatable to the food manufacturers who preferred to adopt the suspect science of Ancel Keyes. Keyes's results were suspect because in his study, he excluded the results of any country which didn't support his theory, including France (known for its good food ...)
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:30
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
i couldn’t be friends with either of you. sitting huddled round mumsnet waiting to be told what to do with your overly detailed pointless dilemma
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:31
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:30
i couldn’t be friends with either of you. sitting huddled round mumsnet waiting to be told what to do with your overly detailed pointless dilemma
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
Don't worry, we don't want to be friends with you either.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:32
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:31
Don't worry, we don't want to be friends with you either.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:30
i couldn’t be friends with either of you. sitting huddled round mumsnet waiting to be told what to do with your overly detailed pointless dilemma
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
oh no!
are you both not embarrassed? you should be
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:34
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:32
oh no!
are you both not embarrassed? you should be
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:31
Don't worry, we don't want to be friends with you either.
CountingCrowns · 29/09/2022 12:30
i couldn’t be friends with either of you. sitting huddled round mumsnet waiting to be told what to do with your overly detailed pointless dilemma
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
Are you not embarrassed?
I'm using this site, with a friend, to gauge opinion on a trivial, light-hearted dispute. You're using it, alone, to hurl petty abuse at strangers. Of the two of us, I think I know who I'd rather be.
PaperPalace · 29/09/2022 12:35
I'm basically on B's side (because I think it's worse to pay more for something you didn't choose or be paid for than to have to leave part of your meal to avoid going over your calorie allowance).
But can't you just cook together at one person's house instead?
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