AIBU?
Who is BU - restaurant choices.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:02
I'm going to do that tedious A and B thing, sorry!
Person A has just had a baby and is dieting, she also has a dairy allergy. Person B asked Person A (and her children) to go out for lunch, and Person A agreed. Person B is having some financial difficulties. There was no discussion about which restaurant to go to.
Person B booked a restaurant where main meals cost £10-£15 and told Person A she's booked it. Person A doesn't like this option because all the options she can eat are over 1000 calories and aren't the type of food she likes. It's the opposite side of town from Person A's house and would require two buses to get to. Person B has suggested picking Person A up and that she could have a one-off treat.
Person A suggested a restaurant in town where main meals cost £12-£16. Person B doesn't like this because it's more expensive and there's no free parking. Person A has offered to pay for Person B and has said that Person B can park at her house (obviously for free).
Person B doesn't want to be paid for by Person A and thinks Person A is being unreasonable. Person A doesn't want to eat extra calories (especially for a meal that she won't enjoy) and thinks Person B is being unreasonable.
YABU - Go to the cheaper, higher calorie place.
YANBU - Go to the more expensive, healthier place.
Am I being unreasonable?
AIBUYou have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
lovelypidgeon · 29/09/2022 12:51
Could you person A suggest lunch at person A's house? That way she can choose something acceptable to her diet and B's tastes (even if that means making a sort of mini buffet). This is more likely to be acceptable to B than someone else paying their way but A can have total control of what she eats.
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:56
tharsheblows · 29/09/2022 12:45
I love this! I think it's a fine way to be and you clearly like each other at least a little bit 😊
Here's what I'd do: go with Person A's suggestion with the understanding that Person B gets to say ONCE "but last time we did what you wanted" and that Person A might say "this is not at all the same thing" in which case, Person B can narrow their eyes and think "I never should have agreed to that".
But seriously, I'd go with Person A's suggestion and maybe let Person B pay them back a bit one way or another if that helps Person B agree to the plan!
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:28
By the way, A and B are both here and reviewing - we're not falling out over this, it's not that deep, we just need help deciding where to go.
A would like to add that she doesn't want to spend money and calories on eating half a portion of food she doesn't like, has used up all her calories and is still hungry.
B, equally, doesn't want to just order a starter because she'll also be left hungry.
(B would like to add that A is thinner than her and doesn't need to diet and A would like to add that B has more money than her)
We may well take this advice - it feels like you get us.
10HailMarys · 29/09/2022 12:59
BeeRogue · 29/09/2022 12:06
I would be happy with going for a drink but the other person is insisting on lunch - they don't live near each other and don't see each other regularly. They're also relatives, not friends so the dynamic is bit trickier.
If you've both decided to take to Mumsnet to settle the argument and are sitting by the screen monitoring replies, the dynamic doesn't sound that tricky to be honest. <br />
Anyway. I'd say that Person B is the one being unreasonable because she is unwilling to pay an extra £2 for a meal, but at the same time also refuses to let Person A pay. I don't have massive sympathy for the calories thing - it's one meal, ffs - but Person A also doesn't actually like the food there and has a dairy allergy that limits her choices. So if Person A is happy to pay, Person B needs to stop being weird about it.
BarbaraofSeville · 29/09/2022 13:08
As a one off, a more calorific meal makes no difference whatsoever to a diet. A needs to view her diet as a lifestyle change and mostly eat well, but allow some flexibility for special occasions.
She could also ask for food to be served without cheese (for example) to accommodate her dairy allergy. What sort of restaurant is it and how is there so little that she can eat and will enjoy. Surely most restaurants serve a range of dishes to suit most tastes? Is A very fussy?
LuckySantangelo35 · 29/09/2022 13:12
MarianneOnAMotorcycle · 29/09/2022 12:09
Both are being unreasonable. Lunches with friends are supposed to be about seeing the other person, not about the food!
If you are Person A, go to the cheap restaurant and just eat half the portion (a.k.a. "The Dolly Parton Diet"). Surely you can find something you like even it it's just a portion of chips!
And your kids can gobble up the rest so there's no wastage.
If you are Person B, go to the expensive restaurant and just order a starter, or allow your friend to pay for the meal.
@MarianneOnAMotorcycle
are the kids going?
Moveoverdarlin · 29/09/2022 13:12
God, imagine actually living like this. One meal won’t hurt a diet. And saying that one restaurant is 10-15 and the other is 12-16 - that’s the same flipping price!!!! All this faff about lifts and buses because one restaurant has a main course that’s one pound more expensive than the most expensive main at the other place? Girls, we’re going to be paying 4 grand a year to have the central heating on, Go and spend a pound on the nicer place! Eat the sticky toffee pudding, have a few drinks. But most of all ENJOY it.
urgen · 29/09/2022 13:12
Some people just have too much time on their hands.
I cannot believe a restaurant doesnt have things under 1000 calories! Surely they dont need to hoover up everything on their plates? Swap chips for more veg or a starter and maybe a small pudding.
It really shouldnt be this difficult. What are you like with important decisions?>?
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.