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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neo pronouns

174 replies

Sparklybutold · 28/09/2022 23:49

Last year - colleague was they/them, now per/pers.

So, are they a load of crap and will hopefully disappear soon or time for change and respect for peoples choices.

OP posts:
WagathaChristieMystery · 28/09/2022 23:55

I don’t really understand why there’s so many pronouns, but I do think it’s important to respect others’ choices and help them feel ‘seen’ and valued, so I’m happy to call my colleagues whatever they want to be called really.

Ihatethenewlook · 28/09/2022 23:58

I think my head would explode if I had to remember shite like that. Just call them what you normally would

jeaux90 · 28/09/2022 23:58

Pronouns are bollocks. I mean seriously, who gives a shit about how someone talks about them when they aren't there!

KrystalStubbs · 28/09/2022 23:59

Ridiculous Hmm Grin

Neo pronouns
OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 29/09/2022 00:00

WagathaChristieMystery · 28/09/2022 23:55

I don’t really understand why there’s so many pronouns, but I do think it’s important to respect others’ choices and help them feel ‘seen’ and valued, so I’m happy to call my colleagues whatever they want to be called really.

100% agree with you there!

jeaux90 · 29/09/2022 00:01

Oh and there is I no way I'd call a man she, that's like gaslighting myself!

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:21

Did just cole across this in my googling which I thought was interesting in terms of perspective and insight.

‘Many people have argued that neopronouns relating to a theme such as animals or mystic creatures are comforting for neurodivergent people to use. This is because neurodivergent people, especially those on the autistic spectrum, tend to have trouble understanding and relating to societal norms and social constructs. Therefore, since gender has been found to be a social construct, they may have a complicated relationship with their gender identity.’

OP posts:
Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:22

www.theargus.co.uk/news/young-reporter/18873698.amp/

OP posts:
Cheeselog · 29/09/2022 00:28

Using made up pronouns is even harder than using ones which are actually English but don’t correspond to a person’s sex. I don’t see this becoming mainstream. It’s been tried on tumblr for years.

How is it easier to relate to an animal or fictional creature than a member of your own species? Plus we refer to animals as he/she/they ie human pronouns anyway, or it.

eleanorsmellstrop · 29/09/2022 00:30

I saw a tutorial video the other day about “How to use frog/frogs pronouns and sentences”.

Cheeselog · 29/09/2022 00:30

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:22

WTF is gender euphoria? Confused

WandaWomblesaurus · 29/09/2022 00:31

Attention seeking crap.

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:32

@Cheeselog I'm assuming yeah - I'm a woman!?! I'm seen as a woman?

OP posts:
Lysianthus · 29/09/2022 00:38

This thread had more viability on the feminist /gender forum which I saw it in five minutes ago.

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:41

@Lysianthus what do you mean?

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 29/09/2022 00:43

I still have no idea what neo pronouns are. Can anyone tell me in plain English?

Hodan85 · 29/09/2022 00:48

The close to forced use of pronouns is very uncomfortable and wrong, but I fear likely to keep growing in prevalence. It's so sad as I've always been hugely respectful of what now feels like old schools trans people - a man who now identifies and female and vice versa, I now feel compelled to reject use of these pronouns due to how ideological and farcical some of them are.

They should be taught the same way religion is now in schools; "some people believe x, y, z". It seems the education system is where it's all starting, which is even scarier.

For an easy life, I'd try and remember theirs, but don't lose any sleep over it if you forget.

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:48

@Pixiedust1234 from my Googling thus far neopronouns have been around for centuries. They tend to be used by non binary people who don't identify with they/ them - so per/pets or xe/xie (I may be spelling these wrong) may feel more appropriate for 'them'

OP posts:
Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:49

@Hodan85 I am aware I'm overthinking this (a negative trait of mine) but I am also interested in gauging Mumsnet views

OP posts:
PorkPieAndAPickledOnion · 29/09/2022 00:50

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:49

@Hodan85 I am aware I'm overthinking this (a negative trait of mine) but I am also interested in gauging Mumsnet views

Mmm.

Sparklybutold · 29/09/2022 00:54

@PorkPieAndAPickledOnion

I'm guessing you think I'm press?

OP posts:
Nyfluff · 29/09/2022 01:11

Pronouns used to refer to biological sex, which happens before birth and is lifelong, so I don't understand. Pronouns are used by other people, based off what sex someone appears to be, it somewhat sort of belongs to the describer as a means to refer to someone else. Often there's no communication between parties to stipulate a made up preference precisely because it serves the describer and is therefore irrelevant to the wanna be mythical creature. If someone wants to be something else (like a mythical creature), they still can't make other people believe it's true or force them to deny reality. We'd probably develop mental illnesses if we had to start denying reality on a regular basis. It's gaslighting? If the person is present then you usually use their name.

E.g. Assistant Cathy works in a clothes shop. Mum is shopping with her child and points to Cathy and says to child "ask her for X size". Cathy has a unicorn headband on but is clearly a woman. How can Cathy insist the mum refered to them as Unicorn, just because she wants to be one, as both mum and child see she's a woman in a headband. The mum and child use Her, because it's a term with shared meaning in both their experiences of reality. When there is no shared meaning and a pronoun differs from reality, you're causing a mindfuck and damaging communication.

Being autistic can make you feel different to the stereotypes of your sex, but you are still aware of what genitalia you have and what sex you are. It's bloody insulting to suggest you use something else just because people think you're so different to 'normal' men/women, how fucking ableist and distorted.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 29/09/2022 01:12

Sparklybutold · 28/09/2022 23:49

Last year - colleague was they/them, now per/pers.

So, are they a load of crap and will hopefully disappear soon or time for change and respect for peoples choices.

Whatever someone wants to be called is fine by me.

WallaceinAnderland · 29/09/2022 01:14

Why 2 threads on same subject OP?

Pixiedust1234 · 29/09/2022 01:20

For centuries? I doubt that otherwise we would know about it from our school days. I say "we" for the majority of the population across many countries. Non binary was never mentioned either. Male and female, that is it. Not exactly mainstream then. Is it a part of a fetish?

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