Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not tell DH what the dog has done.

206 replies

fruitstick · 26/09/2022 09:47

We have a dog. He's my dog which DH never wanted but I insisted.

He loves him now, but he's still definitely my dog.

DH works from home and his office is off our living room.

I'm always telling him to keep things off the floor etc but it's completely full of crap.

Recently he bought a limited edition print. It wasn't super expensive (£25) but signed and he was really pleased with it and it can't be replaced.

It was in a poster tube in his office waiting to be framed.

The dog took it into the garden this morning and has eaten it. Both ends of the tube (and print) chewed.

I swiped it before DH could see and tried to get a replacement but they are sold out.

Shall I just hope he forgets he ever bought it? Or fess up?

OP posts:
moonypadfootprongs · 26/09/2022 12:06

user1471457751 · 26/09/2022 10:56

@TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination the OP doesn't need to supervise the dog 24/7 she just needs to train it. The dog is 18 months old she has had plenty of time to train it to not destroy things left lying around. Anything beyond 6-9 months is far too old for that type of behaviour.

@user1471457751 said by someone who clearly knows absolutely nothing about dogs!!!

Dogs will chew and destroy things at any stage of their lives.
The husband should have kept his crap off the floor and the door shut if he didn't want it ruined by the dog. His fault entirely.

An 18 month old dog is not fully mature and will still be going through their adolescence period. Which is often more challenging than puppyhood. This phase doesn't end until they have turned two.

isthismylifenow · 26/09/2022 12:07

Tell him.

The reaction cannot be worse than when I had to tell a teenager that our Labrador chewed up one of her brand new Nike Airs while she was at school. Which she had saved all her pocket and birthday money to buy......

But she never ever left anything laying around again after that....

Unfortunately its par for the course of pup owning. Anything at floor level is at risk.

moonypadfootprongs · 26/09/2022 12:09

ScatteredMama82 · 26/09/2022 11:12

I can't quite believe some of the responses on here. The guy didn't 'leave it lying around'. It was in his own office FGS. If my DH got a dog I didn't want, then didn't train it not to destroy stuff in the house, I'd be pretty unhappy about that.
If said DH then also lied/hid the truth from me I'd be livid.

@ScatteredMama82 it is totally his fault. He left it in the floor of the office with the door open. It's not up to anyone else to pick up his possessions or shut his door for him he's an adult!

mam0918 · 26/09/2022 12:11

serenghetti2011 · 26/09/2022 10:09

As I say to my kids, if you leave stuff on the floor and a mess it will be stood on and broken. He needs to clean up not leave his shit on the floor and close bid office door. My retriever is a shredder and I know socks, paper etc will be shredded if left - he ate my sons passport as a pup but it was left lying on a settee in reach I hadn’t realised or would’ve moved it. But adults need to take care of things and if they are important move them.

id shut his door every time I see it open, my son doesn’t like the cat in his room but leaves his door wide open all the time. It’s not hard to close a door or lift something of a floor. Especially if your dog is a bit naughty

To not be able to relax, own nice things or just act normal in your own house sounds miserable.

I grew up with dogs, had several of them and not 1 ever did anything like this... its not part of 'owning' a dog its just some dog owners take no responsability to train their animals so blame everyone else doing normal things for their out of control pet.

WagathaChristieMystery · 26/09/2022 12:11

I think you should tell him, and see if it can be salvaged in any way. I feel pretty sorry for your DH, especially if it’s signed and limited edition - the print must have a lot of sentimental value for him.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 26/09/2022 12:13

You've got a young dog, he's going to do things like that. Your DH should have closed the door - it's his fault. You should tell him and hopefully he won't do it again.

RedAppleGirl · 26/09/2022 12:16

TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination · 26/09/2022 10:23

Oops

What an idiot to leave a cardboard tube where a dog can get to it, especially a dog known for chewing!

What would DH's response be?

rant & rave (or worse)

threaten/demand the dog goes?

Depending on the likely outcome (him sulking - fine, him getting abusive -not fine) I'd tell him he'd been warned to keep his shit off the floor, so he only has himself to blame & to STFU about it.

if I was scared he'd get abusive or keave, then I'd be looking at the much bigger picture, hide the poster & line up the ducks!!!

I presume, as you're worried about him finding out, it wouldn't be calm
acceptance that he's been an idiot??

IF he'd be upset &/or annoyed, but accept he shouldn't have left it there, I'd tell him & offer to sort it out with professional fixing & framing [ not that the cost of the print really justifies hood framing but because MY dog destroyed it] but I would also tell him it's a one off, he needs to keep his crap off the floor [and if there is one/can be one, shut the door!!]

also, a signed print for £25 is not going to be massively irreplaceable. There may be some compromise like a slightly different print, but it's not going to have been something rare!

Tell him to STFU 🤣
Please don't do this.
Some posters are just too aggressive in their replies.

SunshineLoving · 26/09/2022 12:24

I would replace it. Either get a replacement for the signed print but if that's not possible, get one unsigned and fake the signature. Only you ever have to know.

If he realises it's gone before you've replaced it, I'd probably just tell him the truth.

Also, I'm not saying you have been, but please don't be hard on the dog. He's very young and dogs that age chew things.

When you have replaced the print, I think I would do something like scatter some ripped paper (pretending your dog did it) in your DH's office to show him the risk of leaving his office unattended.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/09/2022 12:24

user1471457751 · 26/09/2022 10:56

@TooMuchToDoTooLittleInclination the OP doesn't need to supervise the dog 24/7 she just needs to train it. The dog is 18 months old she has had plenty of time to train it to not destroy things left lying around. Anything beyond 6-9 months is far too old for that type of behaviour.

6-9 months is approximately the time teething comes to an end. Not the end of the destructive stage. 18 months is still the teenage years.

mydogisthebest · 26/09/2022 12:28

mam0918 · 26/09/2022 12:11

To not be able to relax, own nice things or just act normal in your own house sounds miserable.

I grew up with dogs, had several of them and not 1 ever did anything like this... its not part of 'owning' a dog its just some dog owners take no responsability to train their animals so blame everyone else doing normal things for their out of control pet.

You had several dogs that never did anything like that but many dogs do.

Over our 40 plus years of marriage we have had 14 dogs. One never chewed anything, a couple only chewed their toys, a few chewed but grew out of it.

One of the dogs we have now still chews at 9 years old. He is much better but will still chew things if left lying around. Not always but we don't leave things lying around.

We have tried training him. We have had several trainers try to train him. No success.

He is a chewer end of. Could be something to do with him being horrendously abused before we got him but we will never know

UrsulaPandress · 26/09/2022 12:30

My 8 year old rescue will chew shred and eat anything he can get his chops on.

LuckySantangelo35 · 26/09/2022 12:31

I’d be fuming if my stuff got ruined in my own home by a dog I never wanted

yeah yeah he didn’t shut the door….that’s not some carinal sin!

I would fully expect to be able to move around my house freelY wnd not always have to Shut doors and not Have my hard earned stuff ruined

isthismylifenow · 26/09/2022 12:33

mydogisthebest · 26/09/2022 12:28

You had several dogs that never did anything like that but many dogs do.

Over our 40 plus years of marriage we have had 14 dogs. One never chewed anything, a couple only chewed their toys, a few chewed but grew out of it.

One of the dogs we have now still chews at 9 years old. He is much better but will still chew things if left lying around. Not always but we don't leave things lying around.

We have tried training him. We have had several trainers try to train him. No success.

He is a chewer end of. Could be something to do with him being horrendously abused before we got him but we will never know

Agree with this. No two dogs are alike and will stop doing xyz by a certain age.

I have a 9 year old digger. No matter why I try, she digs. I have had 6 other dogs and not one of them were noteful diggers. She is still a bit of a thief too, and none of my other dogs stole things like she does.

Some just have quirks.

Jenasaurus · 26/09/2022 12:37

If you can get another one, I would get it framed as a suprise for him, then while its waiting delivery, tell him you have sent it off for framing as a suprise. This will only work if you can manage to get another one, but that way he will never know and the peace will remain. Other than that a forged signature may work :)

MinimumMadness · 26/09/2022 12:40

If anyone is scared to tell their partner things because of fear of their reaction, then you need you need to rethink your relationship.

Your partner needs to put things away if he doesn’t want them damaged and just as importantly so that the poor dog doesn’t end up ill from eating things he shouldn’t.

MinimumMadness · 26/09/2022 12:43

LuckySantangelo35 · 26/09/2022 12:31

I’d be fuming if my stuff got ruined in my own home by a dog I never wanted

yeah yeah he didn’t shut the door….that’s not some carinal sin!

I would fully expect to be able to move around my house freelY wnd not always have to Shut doors and not Have my hard earned stuff ruined

Do you have animals or kids? Probably best you don’t if you can’t manage to put things away or close doors.

girlmom21 · 26/09/2022 12:44

I can't believe how many people are encouraging lying.

StopFeckingFaffing · 26/09/2022 12:52

You need to tell him what has happened and apologise since it is your dog

Hopefully he will be reasonable about it and accept it is just one of those unfortunate things

I don't think it is reasonable to try to blame your DH for this. I would be pretty pissed off if someone accused me of being a 'fucking slob' for storing a print in a tube on the floor of my office in my own house for a couple of weeks before I had chance to get it framed.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 26/09/2022 12:53

girlmom21 · 26/09/2022 12:44

I can't believe how many people are encouraging lying.

Probably the same people who tell women to LTB if he so much as gets a date for something wrong.

MN is terrible for encouraging lying

ZuzuSusu · 26/09/2022 12:59

I would go the replacement + fake signature route.

MinimumMadness · 26/09/2022 12:59

Hopefully he will be reasonable about it and accept it is just one of those unfortunate things

Yes, let all hope he’s reasonable about it. 🙄 If he’s not, I do see what that would involve.

Of course he should be ‘reasonable’ about it. I do really wonder about some people’s relationships sometimes.

MinimumMadness · 26/09/2022 13:01

**If he’s not, what would that involve?

SillySausage81 · 26/09/2022 13:07

The advantage in telling him sooner rather than later is that he will still be able to remember that yes, he did indeed leave it on the office floor.

If you leave it a few months, he might conveniently forget that part.

Plus, if you claim to forget about it/not know about it then you can't later turn around and be like "yeah but you left it on the office floor and left the door open".

NiqueNique · 26/09/2022 13:09

LuckyLil · 26/09/2022 10:57

It's not victim blaming. It's the reality when you have a dog. You accept that sometimes things get damaged and if you didn't leave them in reach it wouldn't have happened. It comes with the territory. Same as toddlers.

Also victim blaming is for serious stuff like assault that is never the fault of the victim. Not for an individual being irresponsible and then facing natural consequences! fgs.

It really cheapens important concepts when you reference them in ridiculous ways like this!

SerendipityJane · 26/09/2022 13:21

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 26/09/2022 10:46

I thought lies in a relationship were a big NO here on MN?
Or is it only when being lied to by the male partner?
Your dog was not supervised, it destroyed something, you take responsibility like an adult.

Another no is victim blaming. Or so I'm told.